


tarred and feathered

by Crydamoure



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: American Sign Language, Demon Gabriel (Good Omens), Fallen Angel Gabriel (Good Omens), Gen, Mute Gabriel (Good Omens), Muteness, Vaping, archangel family drama. a lot of it., aziraphale and crowley show up in ch10, gabriel goes thru some Shit but its bc i genuinely love him ok, gabriel's animal is basically the goose from the untitled goose game but fancier and more evil, this is also a very beelzebub-centric fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 59,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22521577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crydamoure/pseuds/Crydamoure
Summary: It was the most obvious punishment. The Archangel created to carry Her voice suddenly rendered mute.(Gabriel falls, personally inconveniencing Beelzebub)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub & Gabriel (Good Omens), Gabriel & Satan | Lucifer (Good Omens)
Comments: 77
Kudos: 146





	1. of all the things you're about to lose this will be the most painful

It started out with a tremor. 

Hell was a place with a lot of random inconveniences. Sometimes the pipes burst and flooded the corridors with fluid that looked like water but smelled like rust. Sometimes the already dim lights went out without a warning, causing various demons to scramble and stumble into each other in a very cartoony fashion. Sometimes Hellfire got into the Archives, smoking out anyone trying to catch a nap in Hell’s second-least frequented room. Working down below presented many challenges.

A small earthquake, however, was new.

Beelzebub raised a brow as their chewed-up pencil slowly rolled towards the edge of their shaking desk. Before it even hit the floor, the tremors stopped abruptly. 

“Hm.” They commented. 

This didn’t bode well. Something new usually demanded paperwork and Beelzebub was already swamped with it after the Apocalypse that was supposed to happen but didn’t. 

They bent down to pick up their pencil but it was gone, inexplicably. This was confusing because all of Hell’s writing utensils arrived from Earth in the same exact fashion, a pen rolling away from their owner and then disappearing as soon as they attempted to pick it up. Beelzebub briefly wondered if there was a place below Hell that just received a new pencil but shook their head. 

Beelzebub was certain there was no place lower than the one they currently reigned over. Yes, reigned. After the Not-Apocalypse, his Wickedness, Lord Satan himself chose to go on a strategic sabbatical, temporarily leaving them in charge of everything. Which meant carrying on as they did before, but with a slightly bigger sense of self-importance. 

Unfortunately, their new position also meant that they couldn’t just ignore the strange noise. It had to be investigated and someone had to be punished for allowing it to disrupt their important work. This was Hell and every action down here needed a painful reaction. It's how they all stayed on track. 

Beelzebub emerged from their cramped office to see a corridor full of curious heads sticking out of half-open doors. Some demons saluted at the sight of them and they glared at them. 

“Sir, did you hear?” A demon, whose left eye was just a hollowed-out pit with a worm sleeping soundly inside of it, peeked at them with excitement that was definitely unusual in Hell. 

“The earthquake? Yes.” They buzzed with a roll of their eyes. 

“No, no.” Worm-eye shook their head, almost causing the sleeping grub to fall out. “It’s not an earthquake. One of the bastards upstairs just Fell.” 

A quiet choir of gasps and snorts filled the corridor. 

Beelzebub blinked. No angel has Fallen since the First War. 

“So, that tremor…” Started some impishly looking demon.

“...was one of them hitting the ground, yes!” Worm-eye finished and clapped their hands enthusiastically.

This made no sense. An angel, suddenly Falling after so many years of nothing? 

Unless…

Beelzebub looked towards the end of the corridor, eyeing the doors leading to the Pit with sudden interest. Unless a certain Traitor just got what he deserved after stopping the Apocalypse. 

A smile finally bloomed on their face. 

“Well, in that case…” They looked around, gauging the reactions around them. Some demons were grinning with sharp excitement, some looked strangely mournful. Possibly listening to the echoes of their own crash, they thought. “We should give our newest brethren a warm welcome, should we not?” 

Somebody applauded and whooped. Demons of various shapes and sizes crawled out of their offices and followed Beelzebub’s triumphant march.

The newest arrival had to be still making their way to the Pit. When an angel Fell, crashing to Earth was the least of their worries. At least in Beelzebub’s opinion. Of course, getting kicked out of Heaven and slamming into the ground with a force of a burning meteorite was not pleasant at all. But it was just an introduction to the world where pain was the only thing that made sense. 

First, an angel crashed with enough impact to completely shatter their halo and the bones in their wings. This was the stage where the fight left them. Even if they were pushed out of Heaven kicking and screaming, after this they were rendered completely limp from agony. And then the ground underneath them opened, swallowing them whole.

Bringing them to their new home. The Pit. 

The second descend alongside the planet’s core was even more nightmarish. Beelzebub remembered falling down a dark yawning throat, hitting sharp rocks and bouncing off them, breaking their nails as they tried to halt their falling by grasping onto slick, sulphur-covered walls. Their wings were useless after the crash but they still attempted to flap them, still thinking they can escape their judgement.

Prince of Hell smiled sharply. They were certain the new arrival was doing the same exact thing. Reaching out blindly in complete darkness, trying to find purchase, grabbing onto jagged rock formations and slicing their skin open. Anything to stop this, just stop and climb back out. 

The Fall was going to seem like it would go on forever, but then at some point, their new friend was going to see a point of light. And maybe he was going to take comfort in that tiny, red dot promising the end of darkness. That’s because he had no idea that this source of light they craved so much was a literal lake of Hellfire. 

The Pit.

Beelzebub pushed open the rusty steel doors and ushered in the excited crowd behind them to the most important place down below. Every demon’s starting point. The Pit was an enormous cavern, full of grinning stalactites and stalagmites. The juxtaposition of the natural brutality of the enormous cave and the simple office corridor that lead to it never ceased to amaze Beelezebub. But it wasn’t the sheer size of the Pit that made it so important. 

The Pit existed to contain the original Hellfire. Beelzebub heard that it was Lucifer’s broken bones that sparked it when he hit the bottom after the First Fall. Supposedly, fire burst out of his misshapen, convulsing body and spread everywhere, filling out the cavern like an awful parody of a lake. Then the flames covered the First Archangel and changed him into the First Fallen. And ever since then, every demon had to follow the same trajectory as Lucifer did. 

Expulsion from Heaven, slamming into Earth and then, finally, the Pit.

Beelzebub looked around the cavern. They couldn’t remember when was the last time they visited Hell’s own indoor volcano. Even though their offices were so crowded and this place was enormous and spacious, no demon visited the Pit if they didn’t have to. 

Bad memories. 

A figure emerged from the opening in the rocky ceiling high above them. The being was completely limp, falling down like a discarded ragdoll. They must have hit their head on one of the rocks, Beelzebub thought to themselves, not caring whether they were right or not. It was going to get a lot worse in just a second and it didn’t matter whether the new arrival was conscious or not.

A wave of hushed gasps erupted around them. Beelzebub looked around and saw some demons pointing at the falling angel. They squinted at the lifeless body plummeting down.

Something wasn’t right. First of all, the angel was surrounded by limp wings just hanging from their back, but they definitely had too many of them. More than just two. Second of all, weren’t that Traitor’s wings white? The arrival’s feathers were dark, almost black but covered with a sheen of color that Beelzebub could not discern from this distance.

“Peacock! Those are peacock wings!!” Someone with better eyesight exclaimed.

The demons who didn’t know the significance of this fact made questioning noises. The demons who knew the only owner of said wings in the celestial existence fell silent. Including Beelzebub. 

As the new addition to Hell spiraled closer to them, they clenched their fists.

Of course. Of course nothing could ever be simple. Of course the Traitors were going to walk free and Heaven was going to spring this kind of nonsense on them, shaking things up without a warning. 

“Out.” They croaked. 

The crowd around Beelzebub definitely heard their order but pretended like they didn’t, too overtaken with curiosity. Beelzebub’s fists, pressed against their thighs, began to shake with anger.

“OUUUUUUUT!” They shrieked, their voice echoing between the cavern walls. “EVERYBODY OUT!”

This time, everyone ran for their lives, escaping the Pit and leaving Beelzebub alone. As soon as the doors closed behind the murmuring demons, Archangel Gabriel hit the surface of the lake of Hellfire with a gut-twisting sizzling sound and disappeared underneath the flames.

If he got knocked out during his journey to Hell, he definitely was awake now. Beelzebub approached the edge of inferno and observed his flailing arms with blank eyes. There was no point in fighting the Pit.

It had to reform him. It had to burn God out of him and there was simply no getting out of that. 

The grasping hands disappeared under the rolling waves of fire. 

Beelzebub exhaled sharply through their nose. 

Gabriel. Those idiots upstairs really made him Fall. 

Not that Beelzebub cared about his well-being. This was more about them losing an important resource, an Archangel they actually tolerated. Whenever Heaven and Hell met in an administrative context, it was usually between them and Gabriel. It was tense at first, but Gabriel was always very determined to get the job done and that included learning what to do and what not to do during a meeting with them. Sure, they annoyed each other, but Beelzebub also learned to live with it. Anything to get the job done, that was a sentiment they both understood. 

Not to mention, other Archangels played games. They tried to test Beelzebub’s patience or they hid their intentions behind almost-lies. Not Gabriel. He was painfully sincere, almost to the point of being naive. 

But there was nothing endearing or weak about how honest he allowed his anger to be, Beelzebub has learned that very early on. And for that clarity, they respected him. 

As they watched the spot where he disappeared, they suddenly realized they’ve been clenching their jaw hard enough to feel a dull ache radiating from their face. 

They did not care about Gabriel. This was the simple truth. But at the same time, he wasn’t the worst Archangel to deal with. Michael was far more irritating and so were those other two whose names Beelzebub never bothered to learn. 

“Ugh.” They made a disgusted noise directed both at the sudden stench of burning flesh and at the Archangels above them both.

How could they make him Fall and personally inconvenience Beelzebub like that? This had to be a political play of some sort. From what they’ve gathered, Gabriel unofficially held the most power in Heaven, right after the Metatron. So, someone must have moved up as he Fell down. 

Or… Or it was something he deserved. A corner of Beelzebub’s lips twitched. Gabriel had a couple of interesting characteristics that were almost indulgent for a being who existed only to serve God and parrot Her words for the amusement of others. For a tool, he sometimes had too much personality. Definitely more than it was allowed in Heaven. Perhaps they finally deemed his impulsiveness and exaggerated sense of self-worth as too unholy.

Might as well ask him once he crawls out of the Pit, they thought.

Beelzebub stuffed hands into their pockets. They had to admit they expected a lot more screaming from Gabriel. He was either as sturdy as his corporation looked or he was too broken to make a sound, even when he plunged headfirst into pure Hellfire. 

The Pit kept burning and they kept staring at the spot where a former Archangel should have emerged already. 

And then an inky dot bloomed in the middle of the fiery lake. Beelzebub blinked but when they opened their eyes again, that spot of blackness amongst the flames was still there. And slowly growing bigger. 

They raised their brow. 

Hellfire hissed with offence as the black liquid continued to spread lazily, consuming and extinguishing everything in its path like an oil spill. Smoke hissed and murky bubbles boiled loudly. Beelzebub took a cautious step back as the strange liquid slowly crawled to the brink of the Pit but finally stopped its spread, content with completely replacing the flames with its dark mass. 

Beelzebub’s brow only raised higher as they crouched to examine the substance. It had a choking stench to it, oily and smokey. 

Tar. 

They stood up, taking in Pit’s new appearance. What was once a chasm filled with violent, crackling fire was now a calm lake of blackness that bubbled in an unhurried way. A literal tar pit.

Everyone’s Fall was different. Everyone had to be broken in a specific way to make it stick. Dagon told them that when she dove into the Pit, it briefly became the bottom of the ocean with something lurking right behind her. She couldn’t see it but she knew it was there. Giant and maybe older than God herself. Watching her and wondering whether it should eat her or let her live. It was the day she learned how to swim and it was the day she felt fear for the first time. 

When Beelzebub was thrown into the hellfire, it first burned, but then it turned into something else as well. They remember screaming into the flames as they were being hollowed out, but then the fire was suddenly gone, replaced by a writhing mass of maggots. They shrieked in pure horror when they realized they were being sucked in by layers of tiny squirming bodies. Which only resulted in some worms falling into their mouth. And then they screamed again.

Beelzebub smiled wistfully. They were so stupid back then. Stupid and naive. They didn’t know how they had found the strength in themselves to crawl out of the Pit that day, but they did. And that taught them to accept rot and hunger as part of their new self. 

Underneath layers of viscous tar, Gabriel was currently learning a similar lesson. 

Finally, a pair of arms shot out of the steaming ink. Beelzebub tilted their head, watching the limbs struggle to find enough purchase to let their owner crawl out of the sticky trap. Their annoyance at the general inconvenience sent to them from Heaven slowly turned into a sick sense of curiosity. It’s been so long since they got to witness this process and they had no idea what to expect. 

Gabriel’s upper half finally climbed above the surface. Beelzebub had no idea how he managed to swim up in a liquid this heavy and sticky but he did. He had no other choice. They watched him whip his head around, attempting to shake off the tar glued to his skin but to no avail. Beelzebub could only see his eyes, two white points against the layers of black flashing with something wild.

“Come on, then. You got this far.” They called out to him, trying to sound as bored and uninterested as they could. 

Gabriel’s head turned and he finally noticed them. Some expression distorted his face. They couldn’t tell what it was over the layers of tar dripping from him. It was either an angry scowl or a grateful sigh. Not that they cared.

The former Archangel was now in a pure survival mode and swimming towards them. Crawling, more like it. He could barely move in the thick tar that continued to stick and sizzle against his skin. Beelzebub could now see his teeth, white and bared in a pained expression. Something wing-shaped dragged behind him like dead weight. 

Finally, his hand reached the brink of the Pit, staining the rocks with black spots. Some tar droplets hit the tips of Beelzebub’s shoes. Gabriel looked up at them, panting silently. They looked down. 

They had no intention of giving him a hand to help him up and he must have read that from the way their eyes squinted and their chin moved slightly to the right. Gabriel’s teeth flashed in a grimace again and with an effort that seemed miraculous, he slowly lifted himself out of the tar pit. 

Beelzebub stepped back, not wanting to get more spots on their clothes. Gabriel wobbled on his knees and immediately collapsed to the side. The lake behind him erupted into flames again and the only evidence of the change that just took place were the layers of blackness rolling off of Gabriel’s skin and clothes. 

And of all six of his wings, Beelzebub noted. 

Gabriel was a vain bastard sometimes, but Beelzebub figured God asked for it when She created him with feathers that were so beautiful they had to be shared with humans somehow. Beelzebub didn’t know what was Gabriel’s reaction to learning of peacocks’ creation but they imagined he wasn’t happy to share his unique plumage with an Earth animal. That day he must have given the Almighty the most polite smile of his entire career. 

They saw his wings maybe twice in their entire infernal existence. They were huge. And so colorful even though Heaven seemed to be devoid of shades other than beige and white. Gabriel’s wings were dark green with a lustrous sheen that made Beelzebub think of forest beetles scuttling around. His wings bloomed sinfully into various colors as they went on, shades of blue, layers of black and white and even orange accents. It was excessive but the peak of it had to be the many purple eye-spots adorning his wings.

“Oh, I get it now.” They said to him back when they saw his corporation for the first time. 

“Get what?” He asked. In this memory, Gabriel was standing tall in a pristine grey suit without any signs of pain. 

“Your corporation’s eyes match your wings.” 

The Gabriel from their memory gave them a grin that forgot to be bashful.

The present Gabriel was shaking soundlessly on the ground beneath them. His wings were a sticky mess, drained from all colors. They were glued to each other at strange angles, still dripping with tar even though the rest of his body was relatively clean by now. All of those brilliant shades of color were gone, replaced by blackness and the sickly whites of feather stems.

They were ugly. All six of his wings turned into some strange bone formations covered in wet clumps of tar-dripping feathers. They looked heavy. Diseased. Polluted.

Now his wings made Beelzebub think about rotted pigeon corpses littering the city streets.

A lesson in humility, they assumed.

They didn’t feel anything as they watched Gabriel twitch on the ground. He seemed oddly lifeless after his desperate crawl to the surface. His arms and legs jumped chaotically from time to time, spurred to life by a sudden flash of pain. Other than that, he was completely motionless. Even his violet eyes seemed to have forgotten how to blink, staring blankly at some distant spot.

They didn’t wonder what was going through his head right now. They knew what he was thinking. All new demons had those thoughts. 

Thoughts that attempted to make sense of the pain they were suddenly going through. Make sense of the revelation that the being that made them and promised them they would love them no matter what didn’t care for them anymore. 

Beelzebub knew demons who followed that spiral of thoughts until all they could think of was crawling back into the Pit to finish their existence. They could have ended up that way too after their Fall, was it not for Lucifer kicking their side and barking an order at them. 

They cleared their throat. Gabriel twitched like a shot deer. 

“I have to say, I didn’t expect to see you when my informants told me about a falling angel.” They started. Gabriel didn’t need to know they found out about his Fall through office gossip. “I was hoping for the Traitor, to be honest.” 

Gabriel’s eyes finally moved towards them. And they flashed with anger directed probably at both them and the Principality that managed to somehow stop the Armageddon. 

Anger was a good choice down in Hell. Being angry at someone was sometimes just enough motivation to keep going despite the pain. 

The former Archangel returned to life, breaking the stupor. He finally organized his limbs well enough to stand up. He moved slowly, as if he was still submerged underneath layers of tar. Gabriel swayed, losing his balance for a second, and then violence flashed in his bared teeth as he looked at them. Beelzebub just raised an eyebrow, playing the role of the big bad demon. One day Gabriel will thank them for these provoking comments. Or he won’t. They didn’t care. 

Gabriel took a couple of pained steps towards them and stopped just inches away from them, opening his mouth. The former Archangel of Communication was always very vocal and Beelzebub was definitely looking forward to a rant of proportions never witnessed before in all of creation. 

But no words left Gabriel’s mouth. Anger on his face turned into pure confusion as he looked away from them. His brows furrowed and he opened his mouth again, one hand pressed against his throat with consternation. 

“Swallowed some tar?” Beelzebub continued to taunt, giving him an easy target and urging him to take it for his own sake.

His jaw moved soundlessly in response. 

They raised their brow expectantly.

His eyes returned to them, this time filled to the brim with panic. 

Beelzebub stopped smirking.

His mouth opened again. Impossible strain pulled at Gabriel’s face, etching deep lines into it. 

But no sound came out of him.

Gabriel collapsed to his knees again, both hands pressed against his mouth in shock.

Angels and demons had a certain inexplicable insight, a sense far more advanced than human gut feelings. They simply came to know certain things without having to ask or check. And as Beelzebub watched Gabriel fall apart for the second time this day, they realized what was the real lesson the Pit imparted to him.

His voice was gone. And it wasn’t just a temporary injury from crashing and plunging into Hellfire. It was burned out of him, permanently. Beelzebub could somehow feel that and even if they didn’t trust their own hunch, the overwhelming panic and despair in Gabriel’s wide-open eyes confirmed it twice over.

They’ve never seen anything like this before. The Fall disfigured and traumatized them all in so many different ways, but this was new.

“She really did this to you.” Beelzebub murmured with a strange sense of respect towards their Mother’s cruelty. “She took away your voice.”

Gabriel’s shoulders started to shake. His head was now hanging so low they couldn’t see his face but they knew what was happening.

He was crying without a sound and Beelzebub didn’t even know that something like this was possible. Not a single sob or a whine, despite the trembling hands and rolling tears.

It was haunting to look at. Unnatural. 

They broke the silence for their own comfort, not his. “Makes sense. You are the Messenger. She didn’t want you to repeating Her words down here.” 

This was all he had. All he was meant for. Delivering Her messages. They called Metatron the voice of God, but it was Gabriel who carried it for Her to all corners of existence. It was the sole reason behind his existence. And now it was completely gone, incised out of him with surgical precision.

It was a very poetic punishment, Beelzebub had to admit. 

The former Archangel continued to shake uncontrollably, hands still pressed against his mouth as if he was trying to hold in whatever remnants of his voice were still inside of him. Trap them there and pray for a healing that will never come. 

Beelzebub sighed through their nose and cursed Heaven again for needlessly complicating things. Had it been any other angel, they would have already pushed them out for their walk of shame through the hallways of Hell. They shouldn’t be giving Gabriel special treatment. They knew that but when they called out his name, they no longer sounded bored and patronizing.

“Gabriel.” Beelzebub’s voice was flat and devoid of emotions, the closest they could get to being comforting.

Gabriel twitched and looked at them with angry eyes hidden behind a sheen of tears. He was staring at them as if he was asking them what were they even doing here. A moment like this shouldn’t have any witnesses. Nobody should get to see him like this.

Beelzebub felt that he was right. But they didn’t say it. 

“Behind these doors--” They pointed behind their back. “--are dozens of demons who know of your arrival. Is this how you want them to see you for the first time? On your knees and bawling?”

Gabriel’s hands dropped and he opened his mouth but again, no lashing remark came. Beelzebub saw him struggling to answer, straining his vocal cords to bark something back. It looked like he was literally squeezing a sound out of himself but it was for nothing. Utterly pointless. What was the sole reason behind his celestial existence was now gone.

With an uncharacteristic amount of pity, Beelzebub thought that it was going to take him a while before he learns there was no more point in opening his mouth to speak.

“Get up. I’m going to take you to my quarters. If you wanna sob and whine, fine, do that there. But before my demons, you better pretend you’re stronger than this. Or you’re dead meat.”

Gabriel shook his head, tears still flashing in his wild eyes. They understood his answer. Gabriel’s world just crumbled away to nothing. What was the point in getting up and going further into Hell? For what? 

“Get up.”

Gabriel shook his head again. He couldn’t.

“Get up.” Beelzebub repeated again.

Gabriel didn’t move. He didn’t look at them.

“If you don’t want them to win, you will get up.” 

That seemed to strike a nerve because Gabriel inhaled air through his nose and hit the side of his head with the heel of his hand. Repeatedly. No frustrated sounds escaped him but Beelzebub could feel the violent upheaval inside of him. Pure despair begging to burst but with no way out. His hand painfully sunk into his tar-covered hair and tugged at it. All that pain and no way to communicate it.

“I’m not here to save you. I’m not here to tell you it gets easier. It doesn’t.” Beelzebub felt their lips move as the right words came to them out of nowhere. “I’m here to make sure you don’t piss away your only accomplishment that matters anymore.”

Gabriel lifted head to look at them, rage and mourning still visible in his puffy eyes. 

“You survived.” Beelzebub finished. “Don’t ruin that.”

Gabriel stared at them quietly. Beelzebub met his gaze and watched the stinging pain in the violet eyes melt. His hand slowly released the strands of hair it was tugging at and it dropped lifelessly to the side. They’ve been there, they didn’t need to hear him talk to know what was happening inside of him. Gabriel was realizing that the world went on even though his own just got shattered. Heaven, Earth and Hell were still there even though it made no sense.

Former Archangel shook his head again, but this time slowly. Pleadingly. Beelzebub also shook head in response. 

“Get up. You can feel sorry for yourself later.”

He didn’t understand his own pain yet and he wanted to let it just run wild, wreck whatever was left of him. Beelzebub got that. But they couldn’t give him that. It just wasn’t very productive from Hell’s viewpoint.

They hadn’t even considered Lucifer’s reaction to learning about his baby brother’s Fall. They swore in their head. So many bridges to cross before them both.

Gabriel dragged a hand down his face, exhaling slowly. Even what should have been a sigh from him was completely muted. It seemed impossible but their infernal punishments had their own poetic rules. It should be impossible for maggots to continually spawn in Beelzebub’s hair and skin and yet they were there, day after day.

The former Archangel slowly climbed to his feet. Beelzebub didn’t bother with offering a helping hand. They’ve done plenty already. Gabriel wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, smearing more tar on his already dirty face. Beelzebub just noticed that his suit jacket did not survive the Fall. Most of the tar on his body has already turned into scabs of blackness covering his neck and clothes, but for some reason, Gabriel’s tie and his heavy wings continued to drip with it.

Beelzebub watched Gabriel wince as he straightened up. Without the anger, his broken body behaved and moved like one. He didn’t even rose to his full height, he remained hunched over. The pain made them equal in that one aspect. 

A semi-standing position meant that he could finally investigate the strange new weight attached to his back. Beelzebub sighed with exasperation at the new wave of horror taking over his eyes as he carefully moved one of his wet, sticky wings into his field of vision. 

“Cry about it later, birdie.” Beelzebub’s annoyance returned to their voice. Gabriel looked at them and swallowed hard. He looked like he was about to throw up, still holding the tip of his wing like it was some alien growth that was glued to him by a mistake. He closed his eyes. Beelzebub truly didn’t think he had enough strength left to process both the loss of his voice and the loss of his beautiful wings. And they were right because Gabriel simply released the wing and opened his eyes, giving them a blank stare.

“Don’t put your wings away.” Beelzebub turned around, heading towards the doors. They didn’t check if Gabriel was following, but they didn’t have to. They could hear the sticky sounds his tar-covered boots made as he took careful, pained steps towards his new life. “Let them see what you survived.” 

‘Them’ meaning the overly curious demons who were undoubtedly waiting for Gabriel to walk down Hell’s corridor in all of his newly-condemned glory. 

Beelzebub gave him a once over. Gabriel looked awful. Battered, burned and covered in black stains. There was a still bleeding wound on his head that they just noticed. His wings looked like they belonged to a bird that drowned in an oil spill. There was something broken in his eyes and his throat. 

He definitely looked the part. 

“Eyes up. Chest out.” They instructed in a bored tone. Their moment of mercy was over and now it was time for Gabriel to learn how to pretend he was above what was inflicted upon him. 

Gabriel looked at them with a strange sense of uncertainty. Maybe he didn’t feel ready, maybe he still couldn’t believe what was happening. Maybe he thought they could somehow call everything off. Make the Hell behind these doors disappear.

“Eyes up. Chest out.” Beelzebub repeated heartlessly. 

Gabriel closed eyes, giving himself a pained and private moment. And then he sucked in air and straightened up back to his full height. His wings made a strange squelching noise as he fixed his posture. He avoided Beelzebub with his gaze, choosing to stare at something above them. 

“Good.” Beelzebub turned towards the doors.

They pushed them open and stepped through. Jeers and clapping erupted immediately. Various demons stood in the corridor openly pointing at the tarred figure behind Beelzebub, whooping and hollering, screaming out comments about what was once holy and now was hurt and hollow just like them. 

Beelzebub glanced back at Gabriel who stopped before the threshold, stunned by the sight of demons cheering for his new fate.

Their eyes met. 

Gabriel swallowed and stepped inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and welcome to yet another gabriel falls fic. chapter two is already typed out and needs to be edited, chapter three is almost finished.
> 
> gabriel will be using ASL to communicate and i've done a lot of research in that aspect. i listened to ASL speakers and mute writers' tips on how to write a mute character but if i make a mistake or write something insensitive PLEASE let me know, i want to be as respectful as possible. also, english is not my native language yadda yadda, please excuse any awkwardness.
> 
> if u want to catch me on tumblr, my personal is @spector. kudos and comments appreciated!!


	2. top ten things you don't want to get caught doing right before Falling

Archangel Gabriel had a secret vice. 

Perhaps more than just one. But as he stood on the rooftop of Heaven, he was presently aware of only one bad habit that didn’t exactly suit someone like him. 

Archangel Gabriel wrapped his lips around a vape pen and sucked on it like his immortal life depended on it. A cloud of grape-scented smoke escaped his mouth and for a brief moment, he felt much, much better. 

Thank the Almighty he was all alone, free to look over the city and vape without anyone seeing him. He placed his foot on the small concrete ledge and leaned forward, putting all of his body weight on his knee. The impossible distance from the rooftop to the ground didn’t bother him.

An angel with a fear of heights, that would be quite impractical.

He furrowed his brows as he scanned London below him and bit down on the pen again. Another deep inhale and exhale. And then he checked his watch. It seemed silly to observe the time limits invented by humans for humans but in the long run, they made things less confusing for the hard-working angels. Heaven needed clocks as much as Earth did.

Gabriel confirmed that he still had fifteen minutes of his break left. He had to pay attention to that. 

“Fifteen minutes. Pay attention.” Gabriel murmured to himself. Sometimes he remembered things better after saying them out loud. 

If he was to dwindle just one minute after his break’s end, his co-workers would start looking for him. And then they could find him all the way up, doing something very human. Which would be deeply embarrassing, especially if the other Archangels saw him. Even though Gabriel would do anything to avoid being found out, he already practiced a couple of excuses, just in case. First of all, smoke is not gross matter. Second of all, he’s not consuming it either, he’s inhaling and exhaling. Third of all, it’s good for stress. His human tailor said so when Gabriel saw him blowing smoke while finalizing his order and asked him about it. 

“This? Oh, it’s a vape pen. It looks rather slick, doesn’t it?” His tailor paused writing to explain. 

“What does it do?” Gabriel loved asking questions, even if the answers could hold his attention for a limited amount of time. 

“It’s just like a normal cigarette. Only it smells better. It’s really good for stress and there’s none of that awful stench involved, you know?”

Gabriel’s eyes sparked and he nodded like he did know. After he was done getting his new suit, he immediately went out and bought a vape pen, the same exact one. His first trials with it were somewhat embarrassing. He had to read the instructions at least twice before he managed to fill it up correctly. And there was something about a charger which he did not have, so in the end, he just miracled it functional. And when he finally tried it, the smoke didn’t know how to behave in his corporation and made him cough for the first time in his existence. He didn’t like it. 

But once he got the hang of it, he definitely enjoyed the way the smoke filled him up, forcing him to take a deep breath and pause. Get grounded in the moment. Become aware of his own corporation, how it feels around him. And then exhale the smoke, alongside the troubled thoughts. 

The Apocalypse was supposed to happen a month ago. 

Archangel Gabriel has been vaping in secret for a month now. 

It’s been a mess. A downright mess and this time, Gabriel had no idea what to say to make everyone believe it was going to be fine. He usually let his own enthusiasm do the talking. He was really good at making others believe that they’re in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing. Even when Almighty stopped talking to them, Gabriel did his best to remind everyone around that She was definitely thinking about Heaven and anticipating the Armageddon. So they had to work extra hard and make her proud, surely She was going to come back to see her children win the war!

And then the Armageddon didn’t come. She didn’t come back either. 

Gabriel blew another cloud of smoke and watched it dissolve against the London sky. 

He was good at following orders, less skilled at thinking of them. Gabriel knew that about himself. He was good at delivering messages and being enthusiastic about them. Most of the time he didn’t even allow himself to interpret them. He wasn’t the Interpreter, he was just the Messenger.

So maybe he was wrong when he assumed She was angry at the Traitors for stopping the Apocalypse. Maybe he shouldn’t have said it during a meeting, but Gabriel tended to say anything that entered his head. Even if he wasn’t right. And then somebody suggested getting rid of them and he wasn’t too sure of that-- but he was angry. He was angry and he just wanted to hear Her speak again. So he signed off on the order of Aziraphale’s execution, certain it was the right course of action. 

But then it wasn’t. And Gabriel was back to square one. No Armageddon, no Mother. Except that now all angels were whispering about the failed execution and wondering what exactly are the Archangels doing. Is the great battle called off? Postponed? What was happening? 

Gabriel didn’t know. He’d love to pray and ask Her but instead of doing that he just took another drag of his grape-flavored vape. She wasn’t listening and She wasn’t here to tell him what he has to do to bring Her back either. 

His face hurt from forcing a smile at his underlings and his brain was starting to run out of vague synonyms to include in Heaven-wide memos. But the worst thing were the daily Archangel meetings. Gabriel loved being around his siblings, he really did. God created him to communicate with others and share Her love with them. And he was good at that! Maybe sometimes too loud and perhaps that’s how he ended up unofficially in charge of everything. He didn’t mind that. Anything to keep everyone together. 

But now the meetings tired him. They all wanted answers and he couldn’t give them any, he couldn’t miracle them out of nowhere. He started spacing out during meetings while Michael ranted about something or the other. He zoned out when Uriel’s calm voice provided statistics on the morale amongst the angels. And he definitely didn’t listen to Sandalphon’s rare comments about the budding angel union. And Gabriel felt so, so, so guilty about that. He wasn’t doing it out of disrespect. Normally, he drank every single word from his siblings, internalized it and let it amaze him. Because they were all so intelligent and wonderful, every single one of them. And everything they had to say was so important to him.

But Gabriel was exhausted now. He was ready to greet Her home but that didn’t happen. His siblings were asking questions he didn’t know how to answer. Every single angel wanted something from him but he had nothing to give.

The only moment of reprieve was his daily secret smoke break at Heaven’s rooftop where no one came anymore. She wasn’t there anymore. 

But he was. And he didn’t know what to do with that. 

Gabriel checked the watch. Five more minutes of peace. He bit down on the pen and sucked in as much as he could.

“Gabriel.” 

A familiar voice interrupted him and the surprise made him swallow the smoke in his throat. Hacking, he turned around immediately. Before him stood Michael, Uriel and Sandalphon. Gabriel dropped his vape pen in shock. They didn’t seem particularly happy with him.

“Oh shit.” He coughed out before he could stop himself. Gabriel really wished he had brakes on his words sometimes. “One sec--” 

Michael’s lips turned into a narrow line. Her face always did that whenever Gabriel did something she didn’t understand. Which was often. But his siblings did give him a quiet second to stop coughing. Gabriel wiped away the tears that gathered in his eyes from the excessive hacking. Corporations did the strangest things sometimes. 

“Sorry.” He wheezed out, finally addressing the other Archangels properly.

Michael still looked displeased with him. Sandalphon was bouncing on his heels. Uriel didn’t look at him. Which meant they really didn't like seeing what they just saw. Gabriel had no idea that them witnessing him vaping was going to affect them like that with and guilt struck him like a blow. What was he even thinking, going to humans for something selfish? He was acting just like Aziraphale and he hadn’t even thought of that.

“Look.” Gabriel started because he always spoke first and in fact, he rarely stopped talking. “It was just something my tailor recommended, he said it was good for, you know.” He didn’t say stress. He didn’t want to seem stressed. Instead, he vaguely waved his hand. 

“What are you talking about?” Sandalphon asked, still swaying back and forth, keeping himself ready to move. 

“The uh, vaping?” Gabriel asked confused, his eyes darting to the pen that he didn’t dare to pick up. 

“We don’t care about that.” Michael shook her head. “We have made a decision, Gabriel.”

“Oh.” He blinked. 

Gabriel looked at his watch. According to it, he still had three minutes of his break left. While it wasn’t exactly forbidden to interrupt another angel’s break, it also didn’t happen often. Almost never. He threw a confused glance at his siblings. This was weird. 

Almost as weird as them discussing something without him. 

Maybe I asked for that, he realized. Maybe if I spaced out less, they’d discuss it with me too. 

“Okay…” Gabriel looked around and shook his head a little while spreading his arms in an invitation. “Should we go to the conference room?”

Uriel still wasn’t saying anything. He tried to catch her gaze but she didn’t let him. Gabriel frowned. 

“No, this place is perfect.” Said Michael and she sounded strained. She always sounded like she was on a battlefield.

Gabriel looked at her. Then at Uriel. Then at Sandalphon. Then at Uriel again. 

“Guys? What’s going on?” There was worry in his voice. He didn’t put it there but it was there anyway. 

Other Archangels seem to have noticed it because Michael inhaled sharply in response and Sandalphon stopped bouncing. Only Uriel didn’t react.

“We gave some thought to what you said at the last meeting.” Said Michael like it cleared up everything but Gabriel felt only more confused. 

He honestly could not recall the last meeting and he definitely did not remember saying anything in it. But if Michael said he did, then he did. Gabriel talked so much that he often forgot what he said. 

“What did I say?” Gabriel didn’t even bother to mask his confusion. 

“You said,” Sandalphon chimed in. “that maybe we need someone to take the blame. Then everyone would calm down. You said it worked with Jesus.” 

Gabriel canted his head to the side. It did sound like something he’d say. In fact, he could almost remember it now.

“Oh, okay.” His face brightened up with a smile as he looked back at his siblings, this time without worry and confusion. This time, he was filled with something proud and warm. “You liked my idea? Why didn’t you say so!”

Now he felt even more guilty for being so absent-minded during these past few meetings. His siblings were listening to him so intently and he didn’t even remember his own words. 

He was going to pay more attention, starting today. 

“We had to think it over.” Michael started slowly. She motioned at Uriel and Gabriel just noticed that the other Archangel was holding a file which she was now handing to Michael. “I brought it up to Metatron.”

Gabriel didn’t hide the wince. He had a complicated relationship with Metatron.

“He liked it. A lot. He seems to think it’s going to solve the unrest in Heaven.” Michael was staring right at him, meeting his eyes. It was like she desperately wanted Gabriel to arrive at some sort of conclusion so that she didn’t have to say it herself. 

But Gabriel had no idea what was going on. 

“How? I didn’t have anything specific in my mind.” He furrowed his brows, wishing he hadn’t dropped his vape pen. “I kinda said it just to say something, you know?”

Michael busied herself with opening the file. Then she took a deep breath and her gaze became sharp. Gabriel blinked, surprised. She never looked at him like that. 

“I discussed it with him and he has decided that a scapegoat was necessary. The Traitor was supposed to be one but something went wrong.”

“Uh, yeah.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. ‘Something went wrong’-- Understatement of the millennium. 

“So this time, no execution. We can’t rely on the process anymore.” Uriel finally spoke up. Gabriel looked at her, torn between worry and relief. He really wanted to ask if she was okay for some reason. 

“So…?” Gabriel pressed on. That comment didn’t clear up anything for him. 

“So, you’re going to Fall.” Sandalphon suddenly cut to the chase.

Michael and Uriel snapped their heads to look at him with anger, while all Gabriel could do was blink. He did that several times but it didn’t make him feel less stunned.

“Hold on. What did you say?” Gabriel shook his head like a dog shaking off water from its fur. 

“We’re going to talk about this later, Sandalphon.” Michael snapped at the shorter Archangel, looking pissed. She always looked pissed when somebody disobeyed her careful battlefield strategy. 

Sandalphon just shrugged, attempting to look nonchalant. “I’m doing him a favor. Just tell him.” 

“Tell me what?” Gabriel was also pissed. 

But where Michael’s anger was fiery and ruthless, his was always cold and subdued. A complete opposite of what he was usually like. When Gabriel got angry, he got quiet.

“Tell me what, Michael?” He repeated, almost inaudibly. 

Suddenly Uriel couldn’t look at him again and Sandalphon started bouncing in his spot again. Michael measured Gabriel with her steely gaze, glanced at the file in her hands as if to confirm it was still there and stepped forward. 

“It has been decided that for the good of Heaven you are to be cast out.” Michael’s voice was emotionless. 

She was really good at that, turning off emotions. Gabriel figured she learned that when she was ordered to fight Lucifer in the First War. She was so good at it that sometimes she even forgot to turn them back on.

“Me.” Said Gabriel. He wasn’t smiling, he wasn’t furrowing his brows in a goofy way. He was just looking at her, his violet eyes matching the coldness in her stare. 

A moment ago Gabriel’s biggest worry were other Archangels finding out he indulged in a useless human activity during his breaks. 

Now they were discussing his potential Fall. 

“You can’t be fucking serious.” Gabriel was looking at Michael and Michael alone. Uriel and Sandalphon became just distant fixtures in the background. “I didn’t mean anything when I said that and I most certainly didn’t volunteer.” 

He didn’t want to Fall. Of course not. He didn’t hate Her, despite having all the reasons in the world to do so. Yes, he had a couple of vices but so did Michael! Even Uriel! Every angel had them as far as Gabriel was concerned. So why was he getting singled out?

“I know.” Michael finally broke the eye contact with him but Gabriel continued to stare at her, not letting her get off that easily. “Metatron read your idea in my report. He said it’s the only avenue worth pursuing. And he commended you on taking inspiration from one of the Almighty’s works.” 

She handed him the file. Gabriel rolled his jaw and took it. It bore the sigil of the voice of God so it was official. A sigil that used to be his. He hesitated for a moment before opening it. The orders were printed out on the nicest paper Gabriel has ever touched and the ornate golden border framing the document almost made him hum with appreciation. Almost. The beautiful presentation wasn’t enough to distract him from the headline of the document.

Demotion. 

Something sharp stung him in a place where a human heart would be. 

_It is Heaven’s Will to announce that Archangel Gabriel is no longer employed by the Higher Power and is to be demoted to the status of a Fallen. This is in accordance with the following articles: 891B, 1733 and 1734, 2881A, 11100…_

Gabriel stopped reading, looking away from a sizeable list of clauses that made all of this possible. “Michael, this is nonsense. I know I haven’t been all there lately, okay, I admit it, this whole thing with the canceled Apocalypse got to me. But you know I’m too important to get sacked.” 

I’m the Archangel fucking Gabriel, he wanted to say but it wasn’t a triumphant moment. It was a plea. 

“That’s the whole point. I tried, Gabriel. I really did.” Michael reached out to grab his free hand, something she never did. It was always Gabriel who initiated physical contact and Michael who tolerated his fistbumps, hugs and high-fives. He flinched away from her. She continued like she didn’t notice but her voice wavered. 

“He said we needed a really important figure to pin this all on. If the angels see you Fall for the Apocalypse, they will have to stop asking questions. They will see that failures have consequences.” Her words sounded like they had to fight each other before leaving her.

“But it wasn’t my fault.” While Michael’s voice was growing more frantic, Gabriel’s was getting steadier.

“I know.” She paused. “So he asked me which other Archangel should Fall.”

Gabriel finally glanced away from Michael to look at Uriel and Sandalphon. Metatron wasn't like them, he only cared about Heaven's well-being and Gabriel sincerely doubted he was doing it out of cruelty. He probably saw a solution to their problems and zeroed in on it. And had no idea what kind of strain he was putting on Michael in this moment. To make the eldest choose which of one of her younger siblings should be removed from their home. Gabriel recognized the unfairness of the situation Michael found herself in but he still asked, glancing back at her: 

“Did you even try to volunteer?” The spite in his voice was unnecessary, he knew that. But he couldn’t stop it.

“I did.” 

Michael’s quiet answer shut him up and cleared the coldness from his eyes. Of course she did. Gabriel didn’t even know how could he suggest otherwise. For a brief second, they both stared at each other with soft regret, not anger or emotionless duty. 

“But he denied my request. I’m Heaven’s defense. It wouldn’t be in our best interest to see me go.” Michael shook her head slowly, getting rid of the sadness and summoning back that sense of productive apathy that made following orders easier. “I didn’t bring up Uriel or Sandalphon. I couldn’t.”

It wouldn’t have worked anyway. Gabriel hated himself for starting to see the logic in Metatron’s plan. Sandalphon and Uriel weren’t much of public figures and they definitely hadn’t played a major role in the Apocalypse. They acted on the sidelines and if they were to Fall, it would only baffle other angels and raise more questions. No, it had to be either him or Micheal. They were involved in the Great Plan from day one.

And between the General of Heaven’s Army and the Messenger of God who no longer spoke to them, it was obvious who was more useful to keep around. 

If he Falls, there will be a sense of closure in Heaven. Someone fucked up. Someone got punished as a result. And Heaven can move on. Gabriel was naive, but not to the point of ignoring the logic behind Metatron’s choice. It made sense. And it would help Heaven. 

But Gabriel didn’t want to Fall. Which was very selfish of him.

“Michael--” He started but his older sibling shook her head. There was no getting out of this, the papers were signed, the sigils were stamped. 

“There’s nothing I can do.” Michael gently pried the file out of his hand. Gabriel didn’t protest. She opened it and started reading his sentence out loud as was required by the celestial law.

Gabriel thought about their Mother. 

I’m never going to see Her again. 

The realization was sinking in, erasing the surroundings around him and muffling Michael’s flat words. Gabriel knew She was going to come back one day. Maybe later than sooner, but eventually. And he will never see Her because he’ll be a demon, stuck in Hell. 

A demon. 

Panic was rushing in, causing him to take a step back. The last time he felt this much fear was during the First War when Mother gave him Her fury and he thought it would rip him apart. Gabriel didn’t know how to be a demon, all he knew was how to be Gabriel the Archangel. That’s all he ever was asked to be. It wasn’t fair to make him something else so suddenly. He didn’t disobey Her, he wasn’t plotting against Heaven. All he ever did was his job. This wasn't possible, there wasn't enough space in his head to even understand what was happening right now.

He didn’t even notice when Michael finished reading. The snapping noise of a file being closed woke him up from his rushed thoughts and he looked at her and then his siblings behind Michael. Sandalphon was bouncing uncontrollably now and Uriel covered her mouth with one palm. They were trying their best to conduct themselves as professionally as their oldest sister did but they didn’t have what it took. Only Michael did. Which is why she was the one to strike down Lucifer and why she was here now. 

To strike another one of her brothers down. 

Gabriel couldn’t help it. He was numb and angry at the same time but somehow he still found a place in himself for a sliver of pity for Michael. 

She stepped forward, slowly and almost gently. “I’m sorry.” 

Gabriel shook his head. For some reason, his eyes were stinging even though he wasn’t coughing. He wondered if she ever said that to Lucifer before sending him to Hell but didn’t ask. 

“This is too fast, Michael, I don’t--” He was back to being loud because the quiet anger wasn’t working in a situation that was already decided for him. Gabriel swallowed hard. Without the fury, all he had left was fear. “Like, what do I do, do I make a speech, do I, do I--” 

He was still trying to do his job. 

“No speeches. Metatron will address Heaven after.” Michael watched him with tension in her eagle-like eyes, probably waiting for the first sign of an intent to flee. The thought had crossed Gabriel’s mind but where would he go? And as fast as he was, there was no outrunning Michael who was on a war trail.

Their Mother called him Her strength. She told him to be there for his siblings and to answer their every need. But Gabriel couldn’t do this, they were asking too much of him. He couldn’t just leave Heaven. He didn’t want to. He just didn't want to.

“All that is left is the Fall.” Announced Michael. And stared at him, expectantly. 

Gabriel blinked, momentarily forgetting about the distress. “Sorry, I’m supposed to-- You want me to do it myself?!” 

Michael didn’t respond but it was obvious she hoped for that. She never showed it but Gabriel knew her and knew what striking down Lucifer did to her. Turned her into a warrior that sometimes forgot to be a sister first. And now she had to do it all over again and it wasn’t fair. 

This was going to break all of them. Just like Lucifer’s Fall did. They barely picked up the pieces the first time, they barely healed after that. It was happening again.

And Gabriel was about to make it worse.

The hands at his side curled up into fists. He wasn’t created to fight, not like Michael. But he still carried the words of their Mother, all of the messages She asked him to carry. And not all of them were about Her love. Some of them were declarations of war. 

“No.” His voice was quiet again. “No, I’m not going. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

And if I did, I did it for her. She’d understand if She was here. 

Michael’s eyes narrowed when she saw his hands. And she shook her head, glancing to the side. Gabriel followed her gaze and found himself looking at Uriel and Sandalphon who had no idea what was happening. The warning was clear. _If you speak Her words, you will hurt not only me but them too._

That’s why she brought them here, Gabriel realized. Michael would have done anything to spare them the pain of seeing him Fall but she also needed a guarantee he wouldn’t use Mother’s words against her. 

“Shit.” He muttered. There was a reason why Michael was the strategist and not him. Uriel and Sandalphon got dragged into the middle of this mess and they didn’t deserve to see a fight between them. He knew that. But Gabriel didn’t unclench his fists. Instead, he unfurled all six of his wings. And opened his mouth. 

Michael stepped forward faster than his eyes could register, like a viper snatching a bird from the sky. The surprise stopped the words in his throat and then came the shove. Two palms at his chest and the impact that sent him back, his wings stretched out like exclamation marks. Still standing, he staggered and looked behind at the ledge and the potential plunge that had been there all this time. 

Gabriel whipped his head around to look at his sister, at their siblings behind her. His (and Her) voice wavered.

“Please--” He started but Michael was gone. There was nothing but duty inscribed on her face. And that same sense of duty pushed him off the roof in a finishing shove. 

For some reason, his wings refused to move as he lost his footing. Like they knew something he was still trying to process. In slow motion, he saw the faces of other Archangels. Sandalphon looked lost like somebody forgot to tell him where he’s supposed to stand. Uriel was still covering her mouth, stopping the words she should have said before it was too late. 

He didn't look at Michael. 

Time sped up again and he was suddenly plummeting like a rock. Gravity took hold of him and rearranged his limbs, pulling him down at the speed that seemed impossible. Everything around him turned into a blur. Air pressure roared in his ears, it took his breath away and stung at his horrified eyes.

And as his Fall began, Gabriel realized that a fear of heights was a practical fear to have after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BACKSTORY UNLOCKED. i really do love writing gabriel, he's like "what if heaven was led by a guy with undiagnosed adhd" you gotta stan. 
> 
> next chapter we finally get gabriel's point of view in HELL. i was going to jump into it immediately, give the backstory later, but i just really liked the stylistic device of having two chapters in a row start out with really mundane heaven and hell perspectives. it builds a rhythm you know. also ch3 wont be uploaded right away like this one was, i was just excited to share lmao


	3. a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day in hell

Gabriel opened his eyes a second before hitting the ground.

The first thing he noticed was a strange shape wriggling on the pillow, right in front of his eyes. He hurriedly scrambled away from it, sitting up and immediately regretting the sudden move. Pain tugged at every part of his body, reminding him where he was.

Hell. 

The yellowed shape was a worm, the pillow belonged to Beelzebub, this was their bed and these were their quarters. And Gabriel has Fallen, which is why he was here. 

He stared blankly at the maggot, feeling echoes of the bone-shattering impact still radiating through his body. The worm continued to crawl across the pillow. Unhurriedly. Uncaringly. As if it didn’t give a shit that a former Archangel was watching it. 

Gabriel exhaled deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose with the hand that hurt the least. He waited for the dull pain in his entire body to fade into the background and finally gathered enough attention to become aware of his surroundings. The room he was in looked oddly militaristic. It was filled with antique furniture and decorated with outdated maps of various battlefields. Somewhere, a clock was ticking in an unpleasant, gritting way that suggested it wasn’t doing its job well. The air around him was filled with dust. And although he couldn’t see them, Gabriel could sense the presence of many, many slithering worms hiding between books, documents and other objects. 

He didn’t like this room. Too many things. And the ceiling was too low.

Gabriel looked down to inspect himself. His wings were gone, tucked away in another layer of reality. The white shirt he was wearing was covered in black stains and he frowned at the distinct lack of his favorite suit jacket. He must have lost it in the tar. His breath suddenly quickened as memories of that black mass swallowing him came rushing back. No, he couldn’t think of that. Something else. Gabriel whipped his head around, desperately anchoring himself to the room as if he was drowning again. He realized he couldn’t remember how he got here in the first place. He knew Beelzebub led him to their quarters, that’s what they said they would do, but the trip itself was a blur. Just one long corridor with many laughing faces and deafening voices.

It was awful. Gabriel didn’t expect to be greeted with smiles and hymns, he knew this was Hell. But he has never before heard such a startling concentration of yells and guffaws in one place. In Heaven, raising one’s voice was considered… unwelcome. There was no rule against it, not officially. But they all felt like there was one. Every angel always spoke in soft monotones and grateful whispers. Except for him. Gabriel usually got a free pass to--

The last piece of the puzzle slid into the place and clicked. His hand absentmindedly lifted up to his throat while the inside of his mouth went dry. The room around him, his would-be lifeline, disappeared in an unfocused haze.

He knew better but he still opened his mouth to force a sound out of himself. Some unnatural pressure seized his throat like a clamp made out of something sharp and broken. It sent a fire trickling down to where his stomach should be, suffocating him. The stress continued to build and he continued to try for just one single noise, a sob or a whimper. Anything. Tears stung at his eyes and the noose around his neck tightened, threatening to snap his head off. 

Gabriel stopped, almost collapsing on the bed from the strain. His chest was rising up and down as if he just finished a very frantic jog around the St James’ Park. Mother wouldn’t do this to him. He needed to try again. She wouldn’t take away the reason why She made him in the first place. Shards of pain were still lodged in his throat and he swallowed them down, wincing. 

The doorknob suddenly twisted with a rattle and he almost jumped at the noise. Gabriel hurriedly wiped at his eyes and looked up to see Beelzebub march inside. They wore a very bored expression on their face and a corner of their mouth twisted at the sight of him. Beelzebub closed the doors behind them and walked to the center of the room, nonchalantly stuffing hands into pockets of their suit. This was clearly their domain.

“You slept for a week.” They announced, not bothering to hide their annoyance.

Gabriel just blinked at them. Not much else he could do. 

A week… He has never slept before. Yes, he was familiar with the concept but he couldn’t imagine choosing not-doing over doing-something. Gabriel has tried to fall asleep once, just to see what it’s all about, but he gave up almost immediately. His thoughts were too quick for slumber, always racing each other to the top. And his corporation was too twitchy, always bursting at the seams with the need for movement. But now both his body and mind felt heavy. As if they were covered in tar. 

“In MY room.” Beelzebub continued. 

Gabriel’s mouth turned into the straightest of lines, an expression that would have impressed even Michael if she was here to witness it. Was Beelzebub waiting for his gratitude? He didn’t want to be here, he didn’t ask to be taken here. And he didn’t want to listen to whatever they had to say.

Still, he didn’t like how they were towering over him just because he was slumped on their uncomfortable mattress. Gabriel slung his legs over the edge of their bed and got up as carefully as he could. He didn’t know if it was gravity or exhaustion that made all of his limbs move so slowly. Beelzebub watched him with something curious in their eyes and he felt a muscle in his jaw pulse. They had that same expression when he crawled out of the Pit. Back then, it had made him so angry, almost as angry as he was at Michael moments before the Fall. Now, he was too numb to feel that same intensity but he still didn’t like it. Their gaze suggested something else about him has changed and he didn’t want to know. So he just crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to put a barrier between himself and Beelzebub’s stare. Which, judging by the tiniest twitches of their mouth, only amused them. 

He didn’t like them looking at him, he didn’t think anyone should look at him right now.

“Right then.” Beelzebub walked over to their cluttered desk and opened a drawer with enough force to make every single writing utensil jump up in fear. They dug inside it and continued without looking at him: “I thought we should have a talk.”

Gabriel’s face scrunched up in another impressive display of offense. If this was their attempt at a joke, it wasn’t funny. It was cruel, just like everything else in this place. Beelzebub rolled their eyes at his indignation. 

“You do know there are other ways to communicate, right?” They were still looking for something in the drawer and for a brief distracted second Gabriel wondered just how stuffed their desk must be. “Humans invented this whole language for their hands. A bunch of them, actually.”

He knew. But he simply continued to stare at Beelzebub without a single indication that he heard what they just said. 

“But you’re too good for human inventions, aren’t you, birdie?” Beelzebub seemed to enjoy being able to put words into his mouth. Gabriel gritted his teeth and glanced to the side, unknowingly giving them the reaction they were angling for. “It’s cute that you’re trying to hold onto your pride. What’s left of it, anyway.” 

Finally, they fished out what they were looking for. A wrinkled notepad that looked like someone dunked it in coffee. Twice. Beelzebub walked over to him and he watched them carefully as if they were going to lunge at any moment. Gabriel noted with discomfort that their presence was now making the skin at the back of his neck prickle with tension. The balance of their work relationship was completely twisted, unrecognizable and confusing. They were equals once but now he couldn’t help but feel cornered.

Last time he felt cornered, he got pushed off a rooftop.

Beelzebub stared at him for an unimpressed second and finally, they shoved the notepad into his arms. He grabbed it, first glancing at it and then at them, perplexed. 

“I want to know why you Fell. With details.” Beelzebub said in a tone that left no doubt about the nature of their words. This was an order. They handed a chewed-up pen to him. Gabriel furrowed brows, still not understanding the connection between the notepad, the pen and their command. 

Finally, he understood their intention and an angry surge of humiliation set his body aflame. Before he could stop himself, he violently snagged the pen from Beelzebub’s hand and threw it over their shoulder. It hit the wall with a sharp, empty clack and rolled away. Their eyes met. Gabriel dropped the notepad to the floor, just to be heard again. 

Beelzebub didn’t say anything. They stared into his eyes impassively, joining his silence. Gabriel thought about the words he could be saying-- _fuck you, I’m not writing anything down, there is nothing wrong with me, there is nothing missing, you don’t get to order me around, I’m an Archangel, fuck you_ \--and the private outburst made his nostrils flare. But while he was indulging in his unvoiced wrath, Beelzebub quickly snuffed out theirs. 

“Let’s get something straight.” The only sign of anger they showed were a few taut lines around their cold eyes. “I am not your babysitter. I helped you out when you arrived here because without me, you would have crawled back into the Pit and let it take you.” 

As they continued to speak, their words rang louder and louder, vibrating in Gabriel’s ears. His chest heaved under the weight of every feeling it was forced to contain: anger, hesitation, fear, indignation. But Beelzebub was completely still, looking at him with all the control in the world. 

“When I give you an order, you are to listen to me. This is how this place works. And nobody cares if you hate it, nobody cares if you’re sad or tired or you miss your mum. We all hate this place. You’re not special. Not anymore.”

Gabriel felt like doing something. Anything to get rid of this red hot miasma churning inside of him with no way out. But all he could think of was sinking his nails into his palms, hard enough to make the veins in his wrists visibly strain against the skin.

“Understood?” Beelzebub’s eyes were like two hollow pits and Gabriel hated them. 

He didn’t respond, gritting his teeth. 

“Understood?” Beelzebub repeated the question and this time Gabriel actually heard a hint of how angry they were with him. He exhaled through his nose.

He nodded. 

Beelzebub rewarded him with a blink that wiped away some of the coldness in their eyes. They gestured with their chin at the dropped notepad. “Write it down. Then I’ll send you to your quarters.” 

Gabriel raised a brow at that but Beelzebub chose not to elaborate, walking over to their desk and handing him another pen. He glared at them and at the pen, as if it was also complicit in this humiliation. But he took it. And picked up the notepad. Beelzebub leaned against their creaking desk and observed him with more of that morbid curiosity he learned to hate. 

Pretending not to see the way they were looking at him, Gabriel clicked the pen and sat down on the bed. He stared at the empty, yellowed pages. 

“Tell me what went down before your Fall.” Beelzebub was back to sounding bored. 

He treated them to a very impatient glare. They did not care.

Gabriel was usually pretty good at writing reports. Not that he enjoyed it very much, talking was always better than typing. Faster and more efficient. But whenever he sat down to compose a document, it always came to him with ease. Perks of being the patron of communication. But now, producing even one word seemed like an impossible task.

“Don’t tell me you forgot how to write.” Beelzebub taunted.

He closed his eyes in frustration. And realized he would do anything to get out of this room, so he started to write. His handwriting was hardly neat before but now it was barely legible. After just a few seconds of furious scribbling, Gabriel clicked the pen again and threw the notepad at Beelzebub’s desk. He raised his brows and pointed at it with an unspoken _“There, happy?”._

Beelzebub didn’t react to his childish gesture and picked up the notepad. 

“Metatron decided Heaven needs a scapegoat.” They began to read his words out loud. Gabriel frowned. He really didn’t like that substitute for his voice. It felt wrong. Mismatched. Beelzebub’s tone should be angry but instead it was just disinterested. “Needed someone to blame for the Apocalypse. Picked me. Sent me here because executions don’t seem to work anymore. That’s all.”

Beelzebub hummed and glanced at him over the notepad. “And you had no idea that you were going to Fall?”

Gabriel shook his head.

“Funny.” Beelzebub set down the notepad and looked at him with slightly pursed lips. Their bored tone didn’t work on Gabriel this time. Beelzebub clearly knew something he didn’t and couldn’t wait to share. They tilted their head, hungrily awaiting his reaction to their next words:

“Because what my agents in Heaven said is that you volunteered to Fall.” 

Gabriel has heard the expression ‘jaw drop’ before but he hasn’t lived through it until now. He gaped at them, completely stunned. 

“Apparently,” They paused to approach him, savoring his surprise. “Metatron made a very moving speech. About how you took inspiration from Christ or something like that? Sacrificed yourself for the greater good. The greater good of Heaven, of course. And the angels _loved_ that. The applause went on for an entire bloody day.” 

Gabriel just blinked at them. In this moment, it didn’t matter that he couldn’t speak, he wouldn’t be able to find the right words in this state of shock anyway.

It was one thing to make him Fall but to say he did it willingly? It was a lie. He wanted to fight Michael for his fate, he didn’t just jump off the ledge himself. He was pushed! He didn’t care if Metatron’s version of events made him seem like the holiest of Archangels, he never asked for that. He’d rather be demoted to the lowest of angels but remain in Heaven than become some sort of legend, a glorified phantom without a presence.

Finally, Gabriel recovered enough to violently shake his head at Beelzebub. They hummed at his protest. 

“I figured as much. You’d never leave Heaven behind, you’d be insane to.” Their tone implied that Gabriel would never leave his cushy position of power and he almost opened his mouth to correct them but caught himself in time. Besides, they wouldn’t understand. They probably hated Her, like every demon. 

Gabriel paused to think. He didn’t hate Her. But he wasn’t an angel anymore, that much was certain. Angels had voices for singing and feathers without tar in them. But he couldn’t be a demon, right? Not while he missed Her. 

She would have never let this happen to him. She would have stopped Metatron, stopped Micheal. 

But She didn’t. Because She wasn’t there. And if there ever was a moment for Her to come back-- Gabriel shook his head, physically dragging his attention away from those thoughts. Enough.

“Well, that just confirms my suspicions.” Beelzebub continued, unaware of the existential crisis inside of Gabriel’s head. “One big gesture and the unrest is thwarted. Heaven really does love theatrics. When the next war happens, we should try to make them surrender with a well-written speech. I’ll write some pompous metaphors myself.” 

Gabriel didn’t react, staring at the floor. His eyes noticed another worm trying to make its way across the dusty carpet. Suddenly, he felt so drained that he was glad he was sitting. Beelzebub seemed lost in thought as well, staring at the notepad they left on the desk and going over his hasty words again, squeezing more meaning out of them. Finally, they cleared their throat, summoning them both back to the present. 

“You probably don’t care what’s going to happen to you now, but I’ll tell you anyway.” Beelzebub sat behind the desk, licking their fingers (at which Gabriel winced) and leafing through a stack of documents. “It’s obvious you’re not done healing yet and that your corporation is still catching up with the Fall.” 

Gabriel couldn’t stop himself from looking down at his body. It seemed the same, minus the tar smudges on his clothes and the weight of his new wings, if they even could be called that anymore. It was obvious he wasn’t going to fly any time soon. Tucked away in a metaphysical layer of reality, his once beautiful feathers continued to drip with ink, wet and clumped up. Before, they matched the quick movements of his body, twitching alongside his excitement and zeal. Now, they hung lifelessly from his back, dragging him further down.

“Oh yes, it’s not over yet.” Beelzebub caught his glance. “And don’t think I’m being nice to you, this is just practical. I don’t want you falling asleep in the middle of a job, since that’s all you seem to be able to do right now. I will put you to work soon enough. Once I figure out where.”

He still didn’t want any of this. He still couldn’t imagine himself spending another day in Hell. But tomorrow was still going to happen. 

“I thought about sending you to Earth. You’ve been there a couple of times, you’d be a good replacement for Cr-- the Traitor.” Beelzebub seemed to be already used to being the only speaker in the room, filling out the silence he was stuck in. “But something tells me you’d be terrible at tempting. Even if you stopped feeling sorry for yourself and started using one of those human hand languages.” 

The former Archangel didn’t even bother with glaring at them.

“You’ll remain here.” Beelzebub spoke with the weight of a final sentence. Down here. In Hell. Not for the time being. Forever. “Better get used to it, birdie.”

Gabriel didn’t respond. 

Beelzebub picked out a document and laid it down on the desk, tapping at a blank spot: “Sign here. And then you can go and have your nap.” 

Gabriel dragged a hand down his face and soundlessly sighed into it. He got up and snatched the piece of paper, lifting it up to his face. This, at the very least, was something he knew. Gabriel scanned the page with an experienced gaze of someone who pushed quite a lot of pencils in his time. The document seemed to be a shoddily composed non-disclosure agreement about what they just discussed. Which suited him just fine. He wasn’t going to talk to anybody about what happened to him before the Fall. He doubted anyone here would care. Gabriel grabbed a pen and signed with a flourish, leaving inky droplets of tar on the paper. Beelzebub raised their brows at that but didn’t say anything. 

Instead, they got up and marched to the doors. A twist of a doorknob and two demons entered the room as if they were waiting outside the whole time. They had to, Gabriel had no doubt about that. One of them was slightly taller than him and at least twice as wide. He didn’t look particularly demonic, but he had a tense aura around him. And a mangy, flea-ridden dog following his steps. The second demon was closer to Beelzebub in terms of height and fit Gabriel's image of a demon better. Covered in pale green scales, she openly demonstrated a smile full of needle-like teeth. And a long tongue she used to lick a stripe across her own eyeball. Gabriel glanced at Beelzebub, uncertain.

“Take him to his quarters.” But Beelzebub was done talking to him and wasn’t even looking at him. 

The lizard demon half-laughed, half-wheezed and turned around to lead the way. “Follow me, _your holiness._ ” 

Just a few minutes more, Gabriel told himself. And today’s nightmare will be over. No more notepads, no more unwelcome news. He knew Beelzebub was mocking him with their comments about his excessive sleeping, but now he realized he’d love nothing more than an opportunity to stop thinking and just disappear. Gabriel didn’t look at Beelzebub as well as he limped after the scaly guide. The tall demon waited for him to leave the room and followed behind.

Gabriel thought he'd be able to breathe a little easier outside Beelzebub's quarters but that wasn't the case.

“It’s probably going to be a downgrade for you.” The smaller demon turned her head to look at Gabriel as she led him through Hell’s dimly lit corridors. Her voice was distorted like Beelzebub’s but where Beelzebub’s buzz was heavy and commanding, her hissing was more like a feeble whisper. Gabriel didn’t look at her, didn't acknowledge her playful jab.

Just a few minutes more. And he’ll get to close his eyes.

The hallways continued to twist and turn like last convulsions of some wounded being. Each new corridor looked exactly the same, low ceilings and grimy walls. Everywhere they went, the sound of their steps was accompanied by an echoing drip of leaking pipes. 

This dripping will drive me insane, thought Gabriel. And scolded himself for even considering the concept of future in this place. 

The demon walking alongside his mutt suddenly spoke up for the first time: 

“Do you remember an angel called Machidiel?”

His question was asked in a quiet, neutral way but Gabriel’s shoulders tensed up anyways. The scaly demon in front of their little procession twisted her head to look at her friend and laughed: “What are you asking him that for? Didn’t you hear? He’s mute.” 

Something cold ran down his spine. Oh, right. There’s a word for what he is now. 

“He can shake head yes or no, can he not?” The taller demon scoffed, talking like Gabriel suddenly wasn't there. For some reason, he was reminded of Sandalphon as he glanced over his shoulder. 

Gabriel didn’t want to shake his head yes or no. He didn’t want to be part of this conversation at all. 

“We’re here!” Their guide stopped in front of doors that were looked just like every other entrance they passed on their way here. Gabriel raised his brow but didn't waste any time reaching out to grab the doorknob. He couldn’t wait to slam the doors behind him and let the cracking wood speak for him.

A hand with dirty nails caught his wrist and Gabriel’s eyes snapped up with disgust. The hairy paw belonged to the taller demon who was now openly sneering at him. His scruffy dog started to growl.

“I asked you a question. Do you remember Machidiel or not?” He asked again, this time with more force, while his reptilian friend laughed gleefully. 

Gabriel the Archangel would have probably gently pried his wrist out of the hold, slap the demon on the shoulder in a friendly gesture and then say something absolutely threatening in a cheerful tone. 

Gabriel the whatever he was now was just tired. 

He stared at the demon. And slowly shook his head, telling the truth. His job didn’t entail remembering the names of every single angel in Heaven. Lizard flicked her amused gaze between the two of them, clearly eager to watch this showdown unfold. The other demon’s face didn’t budge at all. But his dog did not stop its threatening growling. 

“I used to be Machidiel.” He announced, letting go of Gabriel’s wrist. “Before my Fall.” 

Former Archangel blinked in response. The demon was clearly trying to achieve something important with this confrontation but Gabriel still didn’t understand what was his part in it.

“I fell during the First War. And you know what was the first thing I did after I emerged from the Pit?” Demon formerly known as Machidiel didn’t stop his confession, his steely stare holding Gabriel in a vice-like grip. 

He paused to wait for a reaction from his unwilling audience. Gabriel felt a sting of annoyance and finally shrugged impatiently, hoping it would be enough of a reply.

“I told myself I’m going to get the wankers who did this to me. I vowed to kill the first Archangel I see.” The demon finished and suddenly all Gabriel could hear was the continuous growling of the dog, filling out his ears and drowning out every other sound. Even the steady drip of leaking pipes. 

Something in his eyes must have flashed with panic or weakness in general because the lizard threw her head back to laugh and the dog owner smirked. The beast at his side stopped rumbling.

“But,” The demon started with a tone that suggested a great punchline was about to follow. “you’re not much of an Archangel now, are you?” 

Before Gabriel could react, a meaty fist hit him in his stomach and he soundlessly folded in half, his mouth hanging open in shock. The lizard exploded with more laughter and her friend joined in, walking away. Gabriel shakingly steadied himself against the door frame, pressing his forehead to the wood. Dull pain bloomed in his abdomen, climbing up his throat with a sloshing, burning sensation. He wrapped his hand around the doorknob, squeezing it hard enough to see his knuckles turn white. 

One word. All he would have needed to do is say one word to unravel both of them. One word. And he used to have so many of them to choose from. 

His breath shuddered. And then he simply twisted the doorknob, stumbling inside.

The room was tiny. In Heaven, it would have been classified as a closet but in Hell it was apparently considered spacious enough to live in. There was some furniture inside but Gabriel immediately zeroed in on the bed put against a moldy wall. All his eyes could focus on was that promise of something soft underneath his aching body. Staggering, he reached the bed and immediately collapsed on the mattress. It turned out to be almost as tough as a rock and he suddenly felt like screaming like this was somehow the biggest offense he had to survive today. 

He just couldn’t comprehend a place so devoid of comforts, a place that was so actively hostile on every turn. Everyone and everything wanted to hurt him, demons and objects alike. 

Wasn’t the Fall enough? Wasn't all of this somehow enough?

Gabriel stared at the closed doors from the bed. Salt stung at the corners of his eyes but he wasn’t going to let it flow. What would be the point if nobody was going to hear him? He wiped at his eyes and closed them. Disappearing seemed like the best course of action.

No, fuck this. 

His eyes shot open. And he flipped off the doors leading to the rest of Hell, imagining Beelzebub and every single demon standing on the other side. 

_Fuck you._

Gabriel held his middle finger up for almost a minute, taking comfort in expressing something. 

Then his hand dropped and he closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE ARE GETTING THERE I PROMISE. i dont have much to say abt this chapter, it was fun to write tho!! btw, the album i listen to on repeat while writing/editing is Offerings (2018) by Typhoon, i def recommend listening to at least the first track to get, like, the Vibe. 
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER: a family reunion.
> 
> THANK YOU ALL FOR KUDOS AND COMMENTS, ur support lit rally means the world to me! i'm so glad this idea is resonating w/ somebody else too !!!


	4. beelzebub also has a bad day pt 1

“I wish I could take a bloody vacation too.” Murmured Beelzebub. 

Dagon hummed with understanding as she set down another stack of documents on their desk. Beelzebub almost winced at the sight but didn’t because they weren’t a child. Or Gabriel for that matter. They just reclined in their chair, cracking their knuckles with a dry sound.

“Where would you even go?” Dagon wiped off some of the fish slime she left on the top of some page and peered into Beelzebub’s cold cup. Satisfied with the offering, she snatched it with a piranha-like speed and drank the rest of their stale coffee. 

“Who cares. Just away from this entire mess.” Beelzebub shrugged.

They unceremoniously toppled over the tower of paper, messily spreading documents on the desk like a badly shuffled deck of cards. Beelzebub operated strictly within the two piles system: the top priority pile and the trash can pile. The Prince of Gluttony started to eyeball the headlines before one of them caught their attention. 

They grabbed the page and squinted their eyes at it.

“Asmodeus just requested Gabriel to be assigned to their department.” They handed the document to Dagon. She snorted, taking it from their hands and inspecting it. 

“Scandalous.” Dagon commented and promptly crumpled it up into a ball, throwing it into the trash. 

It was a true testament to how long the two of them have been working together. Beelzebub didn’t even have to say a word anymore, Dagon just knew which papers get a pass and which are to be tossed into Hellfire at the end of the day. Another sign of their tested relationship was the fact that Beelzebub didn’t react with annoyance when Dagon shared a very real observation:

“You _do_ have to assign him _somewhere_. Sooner or later.” 

Beelzebub paused browsing through other scattered pages. “I’m aware. And I will do that. Once he stops being useless and sleeping all the time.” 

“How long has it been?” Dagon asked.

Beelzebub glanced at her and Dagon shrugged. They had better things to do, both of them. The day was still young and there was a full schedule ahead of the department of Gluttony, not to mention Hell’s general affairs. But Beelzebub was holding in a sigh for almost a month now and they could not pass up on an opportunity to finally release it. At least it was in front of somebody Beelzebub actually trusted. 

They exhaled through their nose and reclined in their seat. Dagon took the gesture as an invitation and she sat down on the chair on the other side of the desk, giving them a toothy grin.

“It has been 28 days since the Archwanker Gabriel has Fallen.” Beelzebub began the story of their woes in a sarcastically theatrical voice. “28 days since Heaven dumped the most useless demon I’ve ever seen into my lap. All he does is roll his eyes, flip me off, glare at me and sleep.” 

Dagon chuckled openly. She was the only one who could get away with laughing at their troubles. 

“He still doesn’t have his animal aspect assigned, how does that even happen?” Beelzebub shook their head incredulously. Most demons crawled out of the Pit with their animals already woven into their essence, the rest got them shortly after. 

“Must be resisting it.” Dagon shrugged. “Everybody’s Fall is different. Besides, he was an Archangel, that must be influencing the process too.” 

Beelzebub supposed that made sense. Maybe Gabriel’s damnation was proceeding as it was meant to. They had no comparison and they definitely weren’t going to reach out to Satan himself to ask him how his Fall looked like.

“Is he still not talking?” Dagon asked, picking up their little gossip session. 

“Still nothing. I stopped giving him the notepads because he just throws them at the wall. I swear, I’m going to throttle him one of these days.” Beelzebub sighed, slumping further down in their chair. It wasn’t a very dignified position but they weren’t feeling very dignified as of late. “Dagon, I lost at least six pens to that monster.” 

Dagon laughed again. “You’re not going to throttle him, you let him sleep in your office for a week.” 

Beelzebub scowled in a clear warning which Dagon ignored by grinning at them. 

“The only reason why I haven’t yet is because I don’t want to explain to Satan what happened to his little brother while he was getting his hooves pedicured.” Beelzebub cautiously glanced at the doors to their office as if the King of Hell was going to walk through them any second now. Their tone slowly grew more serious as they continued: “That’s the only reason why I haven’t put him to work yet. You know someone is going to attack him, sooner or later. And when the boss comes back, who is he going to blame for his idiot brother’s demise?” 

Dagon didn’t reply. Beelzebub knew they didn’t need to finish their thought but they did anyway. With a lot of bitterness.

“Me. He’s going to blame me.” 

Lord Satan’s second in command was a powerful title but it also carried a lot of responsibility. And risks that outweighed any glory Beelzebub might have felt privileged to. Many demons would kill to be them. Many have. But ultimately, they failed to challenge Beelzebub’s standing in any significant way. They just couldn’t compare with their drive, with that merciless force that pushed them forward, that hunger that made them climb higher and higher.

Beelzebub worked their way up to the very top in Hell.

They did that because this wasn’t Heaven. In Heaven, they were supposed to stay at the very bottom and be grateful for that.

They were an Angel once, the lowest of all winged ones, tasked with small errands and mindless drone work. But they knew they should be doing more. They could feel they were meant for more than just correcting misspelled words on scrolls. The angel that would become Beelzebub worked hard, hard enough to get calluses on their then perfect skin. And in return, they were told their dedication to the Almighty is commendable but they were just an angel. Not an Archangel, not a Power, not a Dominion, not a Virtue, not even a Principality. They were created to reside on the lowest of rungs and that was all they were meant for. They were supposed to pray to God who gave them this status and tell Her how grateful they were She made them this way, how happy they were.

They weren’t. 

So when Lucifer spoke, they listened. Surrounded by other angels, the First Archangel looked like God made him out of pure gold and melted sunrise. And every speech and every lesson he gave them was like a spectacle they could not look away from. He talked about how each one of them could make their own purpose, that they can be whatever they want, that they had the right to choose their worth. The promise of freedom from what they have been created for was more than enough to make them join Lucifer’s cause, right there on the spot. 

The entire rebellion Fell during the First War. But Beelzebub never regretted joining it, not even once. 

In Heaven, all they could aspire to be was an editor in someone else’s office. In Hell, everything was based on ambitions, not origins. That was the freedom they fought for and got. Some saw the First War as a tragedy. Beelzebub saw it as their actual creation.

Their hunger got them as far as the second seat in Hell and the stand-in for Lord Satan himself. A rank that Lucifer was genuinely pleased to bestow upon them. They achieved what he spoke of in Heaven, Beelzebub was his success story. But what Lucifer forgot to mention while he weaved his rebellious rhetoric in Heaven was that he was a very shitty boss. 

Beelzebub winced mentally at the memories of many outbursts from their king. He was brilliant, there was no denying that. The rebellion wouldn’t have happened if it was led by anyone else than him. But the King of Hell was also prone to fits of royal rage. He depended on Beelzebub to keep this place running but he also tended to turn on them whenever it suited him. Lucifer was unpredictable, fiery rage in one second and liquid gold in the next. 

But he also gave them all a purpose in this strange realm. A place that felt more homely than Heaven ever did. At least for Beelzebub. 

They sighed softly. 

“Did you even tell him?” Asked Dagon, no longer sounding amused by their troubles. She didn’t need to specify who was she talking about.

“I sent him a notice requesting his return.” They replied as vaguely as the actual memo they sent to the place behind reality where Lord Satan was vacationing after the Armageddon fiasco. 

“You didn’t tell him about Gabriel? Why not?” Dagon made a cautious face that she reserved for Beelzebub’s less shining moments of decision making. They knew she was right to be apprehensive about this, Lucifer didn’t like being kept in the dark. But they also knew he’d like seeing Gabriel in this state even less. They didn’t dare to believe in any brotherly love between the two ex-Archangels but they definitely believed in Lucifer’s need to see results.

“I’m waiting for that birdbrain to get his shit together!” Beelzebub explained, again sinking in their seat. “What am I supposed to write? Salutations, Your Wickedness, great news! Your little brother has arrived in Hell and oh, he’s completely uncommunicative because Mum has a very peculiar sense of humor and all he’s capable of doing is moping around!” 

They fell silent after their little outburst. Dagon didn’t react, knowing this was one of those rare times she won't get away with laughing at their situation. She didn't seem very amused anyway, chewing on her lip with her sharp teeth.

Gabriel’s Fall should have been an opportunity for Hell and for Beelzebub but it has been nothing but trouble. They couldn’t put him to work because if something happened to him, Satan would flay them alive. But giving him special treatment wasn’t the right choice either, they were already hearing whispers from all corners of Hell about their supposed softness. And nobody wanted to be called soft in Hell. Soft meant weak, weak meant killable.

They sat in silence for a while. 

“You know what, though?” Dagon wasn’t looking at Beelzebub. Instead, she was staring at some speck of dust on their desk, her forehead was wrinkled by deep lines of contemplation. “I do feel a tiny bit sorry for the bastard. When we Fell, we did it all together, 10 million of us. We figured it out together.” She paused. “He’s all alone.”

Beelzebub didn’t respond but they stared at the exact speck of dust as Dagon and felt the same. 

This was probably the only reason why they let Gabriel stay in their room for so long, why they kept coming around with numerous notepads trying to get him to finally talk. Damnation wasn’t a competition, nobody won anything by hurting more than the other demon. But if Beelzebub had to choose between Falling in the First War and Falling now, completely alone… well, they were glad they weren’t Gabriel. 

They wondered how to reply without exposing that part of them that was capable of feeling sympathy but before they could decide on anything, a strange rumble rolled through Hell. It wasn’t a noise though, they didn't hear it with their ears. They felt it, deep inside their corporation. 

Beelzebub glanced at Dagon, immediately knowing they just sensed the same thing. Dagon looked at them, confused. 

“What was that?” She asked, staring at the grimy ceiling above them. “Another Fall?” 

“No, that was louder. This is… something else.” They responded slowly, furrowing their brows. 

Someone knocked on the doors. They exchanged another wordless look between each other.

“Come in!” Dagon barked and Beelzebub fixed their position, straightening up and summoning back their bored expression.

First, a toad peeked inside their office and then Hastur’s head followed 

“Bad news, boss.” The demon grinned at both of them, not bothering with fully entering the room. Beelzebub squinted their eyes at Hastur’s positively sing-songy tone. 

After getting severely demoted, Hastur wasn’t particularly happy about anything anymore. And he made sure to let Beelzebub know that since they were the reason he was no longer a Duke. So whatever he had to say, it definitely had to be bad news for them.

“What.” They barked, unwilling to entertain his petty mind games. 

“The _actual_ boss is back.” Hastur announced and Beelzebub felt their stomach sink as if they just missed a step while climbing up to Heaven. “Lord Satan is asking to see you. Now.” 

Dagon looked at them but they didn’t meet her gaze. Beelzebub couldn’t even tell if it was shocked or worried. They simply continued to stare at Hastur.

Finally, they stood up. 

“Of course.” Beelzebub turned to Dagon, trusting in their ability to mask their racing thoughts under a layer of disinterest. “Finish the review without me. Throw away all documents from Asmodeus’ department.”

“Yes, sir.” Dagon also climbed to her feet, falling back into her role of a trusty advisor. Only that, nothing more.

Hastur continued to bare his rotted teeth in a nasty smile, not fooled by the theatrics. “Someone’s in trouble, eh?” 

“I know my way to the throne room, go be an errand boy somewhere else.” Beelzebub buzzed and squeezed past the former Duke, leaving him standing in the doorframe. They didn’t need to look behind to know that Hastur gave them his goodbye in the form of a triumphant grin.

As they marched through the hallways of Hell, Beelzebub realized that perhaps they let that smirk influence their expectations, falling into the former Duke’s trap. Hastur had no idea they didn’t mention Gabriel in their memo to Satan. Maybe there was no reason to fear Lucifer’s sudden return at all. 

They told themselves that three times before pushing open the grand doors to the throne room. 

The entirety of Hell always looked like an industrial basement, filled with dim light, dripping pipes and uncomfortable furniture. The only two places down below that failed to fit that miserable style of decor were the Pit and the throne room. Both looked like they were carved out of the rock, somehow following the human idea of Hell. Beelzebub slowly stepped into the dark cave, their head already hanging low in a sign of respect. 

The throne in front of them was empty. For a brief second, they felt an impulse to go up the stone steps leading to it and take a seat. They didn’t though. Not only because they saw Lucifer standing by the long table next to it, but also because the throne itself looked like the most uncomfortable piece of furniture in all of the existence. 

Lucifer’s main sin was pride which meant that he was above adding some pillows to make his throne a little more accommodating. Beelzebub thought they wouldn’t have that problem. They’d throw in as many pillows as they wished.

They cleared their throat. The perfect embodiment of a demon turned around to face them with a shuffle of his leathery wings and a clack of his hooves. 

“Your Wickedness.” Beelzebub greeted him, their head dipped even lower as they bowed before him. Lucifer loved every display of respect he could see. “I didn’t expect you to return so soon, I can prepare a review for you in a day or--” 

“Beelzebub.” Lucifer interrupted, approaching them slowly.

It was the unhurried pace of his steps that made them realize that they should be afraid, very afraid. 

“Please tell me,” His tone had a hint of forced politeness to it that struggled to be heard over his clenched fangs. “Please tell me why it was Asmodeus who had to inform me about Archangel Gabriel’s fate and not you.” 

Oh fuck. 

Beelzebub made the mistake of raising their gaze to meet Lucifer’s. The cindering in his monstrous eyes made them flinch and return to the bowed pose, sticking to staring at the rock underneath them. 

“I wasn’t--” They were so stupid. So damn stupid to think that other Princes wouldn’t pounce on this opportunity to ruin the scraps of regard Lucifer held for them. Beelzebub cleared their throat again, the buzzing in their words started to get louder, distorting them pathetically. “My apologies, Lord Satan, I didn’t want to inform you too soon-- in case the Archangel had perished before…” They struggled to find the right word for a second. “...adjusting.” 

They waited with bated breath for Lucifer to judge their excuse. 

“I see.” The King of Hell finally responded in a more neutral tone and Beelzebub almost collapsed under the weight of relief that flooded their tiny body. 

They still didn’t dare to look up. But they hurried to speak again:

“I personally welcomed him in Hell.” There were two types of Princes in Hell, those who worked hard for their position and those who were exceptionally talented at ass-kissing. While Beelzebub usually regarded themselves as the former, they had their occasional spineless moments. Especially if they aided their survival.

Lucifer snorted at their brief lack of dignity and Beelzebub finally raised their head, feeling safe again. Their grand monarch was already back at his table, holding a pink piece of paper that looked microscopic in his huge claws. They squinted at the shade of the memo. Asmodeus. 

“We’ll talk about this later, Prince.” They weren’t off the hook, that much was clear. But at least he hasn’t discorporated them on spot. “Has he-- what was it that you said? Adjusted?” Lucifer repeated the last word like it was in a language Beelzebub just invented on the spot.

Shit. 

“Well… I don’t know how much you know, Your Wickedness--” They started, scrambling for the safest and vaguest words their mind could offer. 

“I know about his voice. Or lack of thereof.” Lucifer informed them quietly. Beelzebub’s brow twitched slightly at a strange note in King of Hell’s tone. 

Maybe he was more nostalgic than angry. 

Maybe it was something they could use.

“Yes. I think it’s been quite… a challenge for him.” Beelzebub replied carefully. They had to balance their words right, walk the line between genuine sympathy and blatant sucking up. “I tried my best to get him to talk but--”

Lucifer scoffed, throwing away the paper in his claws. 

“Well, I’m sure he’s in great condition after your generous welcome.” Their terrible king turned around with a snarl distorting his once heavenly features. Beelzebub suppressed a shudder. “Bring him to me. Now.” 

Lucifer invented toying with sympathies, they really should have thought twice before trying to outplay him.

“Yes, my lord.” Beelzebub bowed in a sign of respect and defeat. 

They quickly escaped the room and closed the doors behind them with shaking hands. They weren’t safe yet, it all depended on Gabriel’s presentation before Lucifer. And right now, the former Archangel was nothing more than a broken, moody toy that still thought it belonged to God.

They were fucked.

Beelzebub’s hands continued to shake all the way to Gabriel’s room, even after they turned into fists. They banged on the doors and barged in. 

If Gabriel suspected that his room used to be a closet, he was absolutely correct. Hell was created with a specific number of rooms for each of the rebelling Angels, no more and no less. And so, in order to house a new and unexpected arrival, Beelzebub had to repurpose one of the utility rooms. The only pieces of furniture inside of Gabriel’s current room were a mop bucket in the corner, a rusty sink, two shelves full of expired cleaning products and an occupied bed. 

“Get up. I know you heard me.” Beelzebub snarled out their usual greeting. 

Gabriel didn’t even stir. Not even a twitch of his eyelid. He was getting dangerously good at pretending he was asleep. 

“That rumble you felt ten minutes ago? Guess what.”

But there was no beating his curiosity. Gabriel opened one eye at them. The violet color in it was considerably dimmed these days. 

“Lucifer is back. And he wants to see you.” Beelzebub announced in a tone that suggested they weren’t very happy about all of this. 

That piece of information earned them Gabriel opening both of his eyes and blinking in confusion. He even started to sit up, which was more engagement they’ve gotten from him this entire week.

His corporation didn’t end up looking as demonic as Beelzebub hoped it would. Whatever Gabriel was holding onto was working because he still looked like himself, only considerably thinner. His old clothes hung on him like loose, tar-stained rags. His fingertips were smeared with tar and even strands of his hair were slicked with it. Some of them hung over his forehead, their length definitely not up to the celestial regulation. The biggest change on his face were the dark circles underneath his eyes which completed the dead gaze. 

“I told you he’d come back one day, didn’t I?” Beelzebub crossed their arms like a disappointed teacher as Gabriel looked at them with apprehension.

The former Archangel appeared to be weighing the honesty of Beelzebub’s announcement by judging the tension in their body and their pointed tone. Then, a frown tugged at his face which meant he decided they were telling the truth. 

“Yes.” Beelzebub nodded at his conclusion. “Your big brother wants to see you.”

Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose, his frown quickly turning into a frustrated grimace. If Beelzebub had to interpret the gesture, they’d guess that Gabriel hadn’t even considered the possibility of reuniting with his brother. He probably didn’t like thinking about the future in general. 

“And for both of our sakes, you don’t want to make him wait.” They added impatiently.

The former Archangel was like an open book to them. He lost his voice but his face and his body continued to betray every single emotion that was currently fighting inside of him. And currently, an overwhelming sense of hesitation seemed to be entering the battlefield. Gabriel also crossed his arms, unconsciously mimicking them. But unlike Beelzebub’s posture which was angry, his was huddled. Protective.

He looked caught off guard. Beelzebub knew how that felt. 

“Come on, birdie. Better get this over with now.” Beelzebub realized they started to develop a special tone just for Gabriel. To anyone else, it would have sounded neutral and disinterested, but they knew it had something extra. Something that no other demon in Hell has heard from them. Not even Dagon. It had to be there because it worked on Gabriel every single time.

Gabriel lifted his gaze to them. He looked terrible. Puffy eyes, shadows underneath them and pure exhaustion radiating from every part of his body. Despite it, Gabriel sighed soundlessly and climbed to his feet, arms still wrapped tightly around his chest. Beelzebub gave him a sharp nod as the only sign of approval and opened the doors.

Some demons peeked out of their offices to watch them walk together to the throne room. More precisely, they watched Beelzebub march with determination and confidence they did not have and then they watched Gabriel lag behind them. 

It seemed that everyone in Hell knew this could be the last time they were looking at either one of them, so they stared while they could.

“I don’t think I have to tell you to be respectful in front of the King of Hell. He might have been your brother once but he is your ruler now.” Beelzebub instructed Gabriel once they reached the grand doors behind which Lucifer awaited their arrival. 

Gabriel didn’t respond, obviously. But his face contorted in a silent sign of protest. 

“Gabriel, I mean it. He will end you and me if he doesn’t like something.” Beelzebub reserved using his name for important moments only and this one clearly called for it. Gabriel looked like he just tasted something sour for a moment before smoothing out his expression into something more neutral. 

He spread his arms and shrugged. A very dejected-looking compliance. 

Beelzebub decided that this will have to do. They took a deep breath and they pushed the doors to the throne room open, stepping inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was written as one big chapter that i split into two for easier reading, READ ON, more notes in the next part!


	5. beelzebub also has a bad day pt 2

The throne room somehow felt warmer this time around. The reason for that became obvious almost immediately. Lucifer was still standing by the same table Beelzebub left him at when they went out to fetch Gabriel but he was no longer his usual, monstrous self. 

They allowed themselves for one shocked blink before reining in their surprise. Before them, stood Lucifer as they have known him in Heaven. The First Archangel, the Lightbringer, the Morningstar. A svelte figure with thin limbs and hair made out of tangled gold, dressed in a flowing robe that moved like the wind was teasing it. Lucifer turned to them and his royal features melted into pure brotherly concern as he watched Gabriel enter the throne room, uncertain like a deer learning to walk for the first time. 

The moment their eyes connected, Beelzebub knew they stopped existing for both brothers. Which suited them just fine. They stepped away as Lucifer brushed past them, glad to be no longer the center of his attention. 

“Oh, Gabriel.” The First Archangel had his arms open, clearly expecting the Last Archangel to step forward and complete the gesture. 

Gabriel, however, was completely frozen. Beelzebub watched him intently from the sidelines. He didn’t bow or curtsy. His arms were still wrapped around his chest and Beelzebub could see fresh black stains where his fingers frantically dug into loose layers of his white shirt. Gabriel clearly didn’t know how to react. His pose was guarded but his eyes had some strange plea shining inside of them.

Beelzebub didn’t know much about the Archangels, given their previous low position in Heaven. They realized they had no idea what was their relationship like, at least before the rebellion.

But judging from the soft recoil on Lucifer’s currently angelic face, it had to have been somewhat tender in the past. The form he chose to greet Gabriel with only proved that further. 

Lucifer dropped his arms, stopping just two steps away from Gabriel. They were watching each other, taking in forms new and forms forgotten.

“It’s curious, isn’t it?” Asked Lucifer. He was taller than his younger brother, but this could have been simply because of how hunched Gabriel’s posture currently was. He was almost collapsing on himself. The former Archangel of Communication glanced hurriedly at Beelzebub. Their shoulders raised an inch in a subtle shrug. What could they even do for him now? 

“The way our Mother treats Her favorites.” Lucifer continued and Beelzebub felt like they were back in Heaven, listening to one of his many lessons about the unfairness of their creation. It almost felt nostalgic for them. “It’s curious how quickly she turned on us both.”

Gabriel’s tongue darted to wet his lips, but he made no attempt to communicate. He still stared at his brother with caution, as if he wasn’t certain it was him. 

It’s strange looking at them both, thought Beelzebub. It was like witnessing some sick, diseased version of Heaven. Gabriel looked like a shadow of his former self, hollow and stained. And underneath Lucifer’s beautiful form, there was a monster waiting. Beelzebub knew they couldn’t trust their eyes. 

“Your voice and even your wings… She didn’t let you keep anything.” As Lucifer gently recounted his losses, Gabriel finally stirred, coming back to life. He slowly shook his head, once. And again, faster. Technically, it wasn’t Her who did this to him, it wasn’t Her who signed off on the order to push him out of Heaven. Beelzebub knew that. Lucifer might have not. But they suspected he did, he always had his ways of finding out important secrets.

“Look at you. Still protecting Her.” Lucifer placed a hand on his own cheek, a quiet gesture to go with his concerned tone. “I warned you about this, Gabriel, didn’t I? I told you this is where blind faith leads.” A pause. “To becoming expendable.” 

Beelzebub watched Gabriel’s brows furrow in anger. Now they couldn’t tell if Lucifer was being honest or if he was angling for a specific reaction from his brother. Their previous attempt at masking their faults before Lucifer seemed laughable by comparison. Gabriel’s arms stopped their protective hugging. Instead, he stretched out his arm and gestured at Beelzebub, his hand waiting for some invisible object. When neither they or Lucifer reacted, he repeated the gesture.

“I believe he wants something from you.” Lucifer announced in a very disappointed tone, which seemed to tap into some distant memory for Gabriel. His nostrils flared, a muscle in his jaw jumped with anger. He didn’t enjoy Lucifer’s patronizing him, that much was certain. 

“The notepad?” At the risk of angering Lucifer, they didn’t join his game. Beelzebub addressed Gabriel directly instead of speaking over him. This melted the ice in his violet eyes but only briefly. He nodded and returned to glaring at his older brother.

Beelzebub thought he had to be very pissed off to ask for something to write on.

But Lucifer simply clicked his tongue.

“No, Gabriel. Beelzebub might have entertained your sulking but if you want to tell me something, I want to hear it from you.” Lucifer shook head as royal impatience snuck back into his voice. “Well. See it, I suppose.” 

What followed next was a childish expression of frustration that made Beelzebub wince in the privacy of being ignored. Gabriel stomped his foot while an angry scowl made him bare his teeth, distorting his face completely in a strange, bestial way.

Now Beelzebub could really see the family resemblance. 

“Don’t be a martyr, Gabriel.” Lucifer rolled his eyes, dismissing his brother’s performance with a vague wave of a royal palm. “Everyone in this room knows you can communicate on your own if you want to. Mother didn’t take your hands too.”

He was almost giddy to be back in his brotherly role, noted Beelzebub. And filed that for later. 

Gabriel pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, covering them in a quick, enraged motion. Lucifer’s soft lips were now stretched in a smile that Beelzebub didn’t know how to read. It felt both melancholic and cruel to them. But before they could decide which interpretation was more likely, Gabriel’s arms dropped. And then he raised them in front of his chest. 

Demons and angels instinctively knew every single human language in existence, even those which humans have forgotten or haven’t even invented yet. It was necessary for the business of temptations and influences. Gabriel’s Annunciation probably wouldn’t have been very effective if he had to greet Mary with a dictionary in his hand.

So as Beelzebub watched him sharply, the meanings humans ascribed to specific motions came to them immediately. Gabriel was talking.

And they stopped breathing.

“It wasn’t Her.” His hands moved slowly and clumsily, fingers looked cramped, but his head shook vigorously at the right moment. He knew how to do this and yet some reservations held him back, making his palms tremble with some weight Beelzebub couldn’t understand. But they didn’t think it mattered now, now that the first move was made. 

Beelzebub had no reason to let out a relieved sigh. But they did. The sight of Gabriel forming words after his Fall meant that he was finally here. He has arrived, at last.

“So it was Metatron. What’s the big difference? He did it in Her name.” Lucifer showed no reaction to his signing, acting like nothing important happened.

Gabriel was staring at his hands with astonishment. As if they just performed a miracle all on their own, without his input.

“And you think Michael did this just to please Metatron? No, her loyalty is to whatever Mother would have wanted. And Mother wanted a nice, quiet house where everybody gets along.” To Lucifer’s credit, he gave Gabriel a quiet second before speaking again. Or he just knew he needed to wait a moment before prodding his brother again for the best results.

It dawned on Beelzebub that he was doing the same thing they did when Gabriel first crawled out of the Pit. He was giving him a target. 

It was working because Gabriel refocused his stare and raised his hands again. 

“Mother wouldn’t have agreed with them.” Gabriel was a force of nature that needed a direction to keep itself together. Now that he had one, he could not be stopped. His hands flew like he was doing this his entire life. “I didn’t agree with them!” His hands were loud and the way he tapped on his chest was like a self-inflicted stab.

“And you think I did?” Lucifer laughed. “You think I thanked Michael when she struck me down?”

“You went behind Mother’s back.” Gabriel replied, his motions heavy from the weight of words he thought he would never get to say to his oldest brother. “Disobeyed her every order.”

Lucifer simply tilted his head to the side. Now that Gabriel was talking, he didn’t seem particularly impressed with what he had to say. “Don’t pretend you’re angry at me for breaking Her rules. Say what you really mean.”

“You destroyed us.” Gabriel ripped apart some invisible object in his hands, putting more violence into the sign than necessary.

“There you go. Have you been upset about our happy little family breaking up this whole time?” Lucifer spoke with amusement and a hint of wrath so subtle that Beelzebub would have missed it, had they not been taught to fear it. “Hate to break it to you, Gabriel, I really do, but happy families don’t involve sisters that push you off a rooftop. Families, in general, don’t include siblings too spineless to speak up to defend each other. You can’t blame me for that, I wasn’t there. I haven’t been there for a very long time.” 

Beelzebub suddenly wished they weren’t here. They really weren’t meant to hear all of that. 

Gabriel stared at his brother, his chest rising up and down with heavy but silent breathing. Lucifer stared back, a picture of static regality. Some sort of duel was taking place, a fight that Beelzebub couldn’t even begin to understand. Nor did they want to. All of their survival instincts were telling them to keep their head low and just stay out of it. 

“You want to defend them but you know you can’t.” Lucifer said quietly. 

“When She comes back, She’s going to fix it. Fix all of this.” Gabriel responded, signing with a sense of finality but his face had nothing but desperation etched into it.

“Oh, Gabriel.” Lucifer’s expression softened and this time Beelzebub knew it was real. “You still think She’s coming back?”

They watched Gabriel visibly deflate and they instantly knew who won the fight. Of course. Gabriel never stood a chance in the first place. Not against Lucifer, who always knew when honesty disarmed faster than lies.

Gabriel’s gaze dropped to the ground and Beelzebub thought he looked abandoned. 

The King of Hell smiled softly, either at his brother or at his own triumph. And then he walked away to tend to the pile of documents on the table. 

“Believe it or not, I wasn’t happy to learn about your Fall.” Lucifer started his victory speech, knowing he wasn’t going to get interrupted by either of them. Gabriel was crushed and Beelzebub was just a fly on the wall. “I’m still your brother, no matter what lies the rest of you have been telling each other just to sleep better.”

They glanced at him. Gabriel was still staring at some point between his feet. But he was listening, judging by the sharp breath he sucked in at the word ‘brother’. 

“But you’re here now, whether we want it or not. And if you want to spend your time in Hell waiting for Mother to come downstairs and rescue you, I won’t stop you.” Lucifer sounded disappointed. “And if that does happen, I will be the first in line to congratulate you on your faith in Her.” 

Gabriel finally looked up, meeting his brother’s eyes. Beelzebub could tell he was trying to keep his gaze neutral but they could still see something hopeful shining in it. Lucifer’s mouth formed a smile they wouldn’t have trusted but it clearly worked on Gabriel.

“Yes. But I won’t have you sit idly, doing nothing. And not for my sake. Your own. I know how you are, if I don’t put you to work, you will wilt away.” Lucifer waved his hand in some vague but theatrical gesture. “Beelzebub.” 

They flinched, surprised to hear their name. Two ex-Archangels were suddenly staring at them and they bowed, hastily rejoining the conversation. “Yes, my lord?” Their voice was hoarse from the prolonged silence.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Lucifer started in a nonchalant tone that suggested he knew he wasn’t wrong. “but we do have an opening for the Prince of Sloth, do we not?” 

Gabriel and Beelzebub blinked at the same time. 

“Um.” They responded. And then swallowed down their shock with only a slight protest from their body. “We-- We do, you destroyed Belphegor during the Cold War.” 

Beelzebub could still hear the former Prince of Sloth’s screams as he burned down to nothing but ash while Lucifer ranted something about productivity to a terrified audience. One of the worst Dark Council meetings they’ve ever been to. 

“Ah.” Lucifer nodded to himself while Gabriel raised an uncertain brow at them. “Well, I think it’s a perfect position for you, Gabriel.” 

“What?” Gabriel signed while Beelzebub asked out loud. 

Lucifer glanced at them both, clearly amused. “I do not like to repeat myself.” He warned them in a jovial tone. 

“Sir, with all due respect, he doesn’t know anything about Hell or running an entire department for that matter! He hasn’t been here long enough!” Beelzebub felt like they should be the one stomping their foot now. 

“Oh, come now, Beelzebub. You’re talking about someone who basically ran the entirety of Heaven. He’ll figure it out.” Lucifer ignored them, shifting his gaze to Gabriel. “Besides, he is my brother, is he not?”

“I don’t want to work for you.” Said brother protested, furrowing brows in confusion. 

“Think about it as earning your keep while you wait for Mother’s grand return.” Lucifer shrugged. “And just think about how much more She’ll love your sacrifice when She sees that you stayed faithful to Her despite your high position in Hell.”

“I don’t--” Gabriel paused mid-signing, furrowing his brows even harder. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

Lucifer didn’t seem taken aback by Gabriel’s disagreement at all. He casually reclined in his chair, still regal and composed.

“Well, one of us will be proven right in the end. And I sincerely hope it will be you, I really do. But in the meantime, simply to stop you from getting bored…” He glanced at Beelzebub for a split second. “...and to show my wonderful Princes that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, because I am their King...” Lucifer picked out the right page from his stack. “Sign here.”

Beelzebub forgot they were supposed to be respectful in front of their ruler and shook their head with disbelief. Gabriel glanced at them as if he was asking for permission to even approach the contract. Unfortunately, they were too busy holding in their administrative rage to meet his questioning gaze. 

This was the Lucifer they knew, not this smiling mockery. The Lucifer they knew would give one of the most important positions in Hell to his brother just because he felt like it. It didn’t matter the department of Sloth the least important part of Hell. The entire Dark Council cared so little for it that they let it go unmanned for years and didn’t see a reason to suggest a replacement for Belphegor. But the title of a Prince was the highest regard a demon could aspire for. Aspire, not receive as a gift for the old times’ sake.

Beelzebub was so full of barely suppressed anger, they didn’t even notice when Gabriel approached the table and started reading the document while Lucifer stared at him like a cat that caught the biggest mouse in the basement.

Well, now they wanted to scream. 

“You can’t be serious.” Beelzebub didn’t care if they were asking for a demotion or a serious injury. They cared so little that they didn’t add ‘my lord’ at the end of their plea for the return of Lucifer’s common sense. 

Their king raised his perfect brow. “Of course I am. Isn’t nepotism one of our better inventions?”

Beelzebub opened their mouth to protest further but promptly closed it when Lucifer threw them a familiar, smoldering glare that smoothed out the second he turned his attention back to Gabriel.

Gabriel set down the pages to free his hands. “I can’t sign this.” 

“I understand your apprehension. But you are a demon now, Gabriel. If you don’t work, I don’t need you here. I could release you to Earth, but that would make you a target to Heaven and… other parties.” As Lucifer started spinning another tale, Beelzebub watched Gabriel wince and wondered if his grimace was directed at his brother or at the implied Traitors. “You’ll be better off here. And just maybe, happier.” 

“I doubt that.” Gabriel disagreed, hands moving quickly. “This place is awful, you are awful.” He made sure to turn around and include Beelzebub in his sweeping gesture when signing the word ‘you’. They rolled their eyes, momentarily forgetting who was the real source of their anger here. 

Lucifer didn’t react to his accusation which made Beelzebub suspect he wasn’t done convincing Gabriel. The King of Hell simply shrugged. 

“If my sound reasoning doesn’t speak to you, then think of our siblings. Wouldn’t they feel more secure if they knew you had a safe position down below? You know Uriel, you know she must be worried about you. Maybe she thinks you already perished in some low-level Hellfire accident.” 

There it was, the ace card. That name seemed to hit right where it was supposed to. Gabriel looked down at the contract as if he was seeing it for the first time. 

“They’d be glad to see you doing well, you know. It would ease their guilt.” Lucifer continued, lowering his tone. Gabriel glanced at him, the shadows underneath his eyes seemed more pronounced than ever. Lucifer stared right back and quoted someone they both seemed to know: “He might be in Hell but at least he’s doing well for himself.”

Lucifer paused for effect and Beelzebub stilled, knowing he’s about to go in for the kill.

“Isn’t that what you told yourself after I Fell?” Lucifer asked as Gabriel’s stare dropped immediately, marked with something impossibly heavy.

Silence. 

Finally, Gabriel nodded quietly, both at his brother and at the contract. Beelzebub groaned audibly which went completely ignored.

Lucifer smiled sadly, reaching out for Gabriel’s hand. He visibly tensed up but allowed his older brother to take it into his grasp. “I wish the circumstances were better but I am glad to see you again, Gabriel.”

Gabriel’s eyes were full of hesitation. If Beelzebub had to guess, he probably knew he was walking into a trap. But in Hell, there were traps all around and he might as well have chosen the most familiar one, if only purely for comfort. 

King of Hell produced a golden quill out of nowhere and pricked Gabriel’s stained index finger with it. They both watched a black mound of blood rise out of the wound. Nobody apologized and nobody recoiled as the quill drank from the cut.

Without a word, Gabriel freed his hand from his brother’s hold, his expression unreadable. He roughly grabbed the quill from him and found the right spot on the contract. 

And then he signed. With only his name. No ‘Archangel Gabriel’. Just Gabriel. 

“Arise, our new Prince of Sloth.” His brother didn’t bother hiding the pleased purring in his voice. Beelzebub thought he almost sounded proud of him. 

Gabriel just nodded absentmindedly, still staring at his signature.

Lucifer suddenly turned to look at them. “Beelzebub, what do we say when a fellow colleague gets promoted?” 

“Congratulations.” The word barely got through their clenched jaws. Lucifer rewarded them with a grin. Beelzebub couldn’t wait to get out of here. They definitely preferred the snarling and growling Lucifer to the one made out of smirks and smiles.

“You mentioned personally welcoming Gabriel to Hell when he first arrived…” Lucifer started and Gabriel finally left whatever thoughts he was chewing on and raised an unimpressed brow at them. 

Beelzebub openly sneered at him. Don’t ask.

“I’m sure you’ll do your best to introduce him to his new duties as well.” Lucifer finished and Beelzebub felt like dragging their chewed-up nails down their face in frustration. But all they did is grit their teeth harder and nod. 

“Of course, my lord.” 

“Then it is settled. Tomorrow.” Lucifer picked up Gabriel’s contract and scanned it, making sure it was up to his definition of legality. Satisfied, he set it down, clasping his hands together. “Now if you don’t mind, I have quite a lot to catch up with after my leave of absence.” 

Beelzebub didn’t need to be told twice. They bowed and started to leave the room. Unfortunately, they didn’t turn around fast enough to miss Gabriel not knowing what to do and eventually just raising his hand and giving the King of Hell an awkward goodbye wave. 

They really had enough of Lucifer grinning for an entire century, they wish they hadn’t seen that final warm smile as well. Beelzebub started to walk faster, exhaling loudly the second they were out of the throne room.

Gabriel followed their angry stomps and closed the doors behind them both. Beelzebub looked around, making sure nobody else was in the corridor with them. The coast was clear. Their back hit the wall and they slowly slid to the floor with no strength left in their body. They covered their face with their hands, welcoming the darkness.

Beelzebub went over the day in their head. Lucifer came back, chewed them out, made a completely clueless idiot a Prince and to top it all off, he also declared them the said idiot’s babysitter. Officially. All sympathy they had for Gabriel after his Fall evaporated in an instant.

Somebody was snapping fingers above them, trying to get their attention. Beelzebub dropped their hands and looked up, feeling their eyes burn. They probably popped a blood vessel or two from all of this.

Gabriel seemed to be genuinely scared for a brief second when saw their inflamed gaze. But then he raised his hands and began signing with so much casualness that Beelzebub almost forgot they spent a month trying to get him to talk at all. 

“Does that mean I’m getting a bigger office?” The former Archangel and now one of the Princes of Hell asked. 

Beelzebub’s head hit the wall behind them with frustration. 

“Shut up.” They growled.

Gabriel’s mouth twitched with something dangerously approaching a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beelzebub: ive been trying to get gabriel to talk for a month now  
> lucifer: you like are a little baby, watch this *plays on gabriel's fear of abandonment to provoke him into expressing denial*  
> ________________
> 
> writing this huge chapter almost killed me i swear to god. its. its meaty. a lot of important ev happen. theres scenes i could have cut but it was important for me to show what kind of place hell is, beelzebub acts different when theyre with dagon or gabriel and they act different when theyre in front of lucifer. lucifer himself invented the definition of the word two-faced. in hell everyone is acting like some version of themselves and. it was important for me to show this OKAY
> 
> also congratulations gabriel on ur promotion and finally TALKING WOW, WE GOT THERE, i promised we would !!!! HES DOING IT !!!!
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER: the first day at work. and gabriels animal aspect arrives (finally).


	6. procrastination station

Mary was waiting for him. 

He could tell because she was holding lilies in her hand and that used to mean something to him. But he couldn’t recall what exactly. He frowned, approaching her. 

She was sitting in a garden, surrounded by many more flowers he didn’t recognize. Her feet were resting in a crystal clear pond which shimmered with reflections of scattered sunlight. The air around them was light, crispy. Blades of grass and stems heavy with petals bent slightly to ground, combed by a soft breeze. Paradise. 

They looked at each other for a silent second. He wanted to ask about the lilies, ask what was their significance, he used to know that. But what he said instead was this:

“It still hurts.” 

Mary smiled sadly at him. She taught him that smile. “I know.” 

Gabriel nodded. Of course she knew. “Is it ever going to stop?” He asked her quietly.

She brushed the lily petals between her fingers. “I will tell you what I wish you have told me the first time you saw me, when you gave me this mission from God.” 

Gabriel held his breath. 

“It will hurt until you make sense of it.” 

He didn’t how to respond. And for some reason, he couldn’t bear to look at her either. So he just stared at the pond until it became a pit of bubbling tar. Mary was gone. So were the lilies. 

Alone, Gabriel kneeled down and touched the pitch-black surface. Tar stuck to his fingertips and started climbing up his hand, his wrist, his arm. He closed his eyes, feeling the gravity pull him down again. 

He didn’t wake up with a startle. Gabriel slowly opened his eyes, looking around the room. All the things that should not be familiar were still here: the sink, the mop, the shelves. Still in Hell, still in this tiny room. He didn’t expect anything else, he stopped wishing to be miraculously transported back to past some time ago.

Sighing quietly, he rolled onto his back and blankly stared at the grime-covered ceiling. A drop of water was clinging to the pipe right above him, threatening to fall any moment now. 

Dreams were a new concept for him. At least experience-wise. Back in Heaven, dreams were a very efficient way of communicating with humans without having to actually go to Earth. But Gabriel himself has never tried having them since he could never get past the first step which was falling asleep. Now, they came to him easily but he didn’t exactly enjoy that. In Hell, he had dreams about his Fall, dreams about losing Eden, dreams about Heaven. Lucifer’s return interrupted a particularly awful vision about the First War. He was actually glad when that strange, rumbling sensation woke him up yesterday. 

Gabriel didn’t like to think about the First War. 

Today’s dream was the first one that woke him up gently, without the heaving chest and his entire body violently shooting up. Maybe it was a good sign. It still wasn’t a nice dream, but it felt different. Like some sort of acceptance. 

The drop of water above him continued to swell. 

Maybe acceptance was what he needed. He tried to fight his fate before, he retreated further into the silence imposed on him, but it didn’t make him feel better. Talking made him feel better. Gabriel raised his right palm into his vision, staring at his fingers. They were stained with tar, but he didn’t care about that anymore. They were also brimming with words-- words that he missed so much. His own sentences, his own replies, happening immediately as they came to him. It wasn’t the same as having a voice, but he wasn’t in that passive prison anymore. Nobody would speak over him again, nobody would put words into his mouth again. He had his voice back. He could have had it back a long time ago if he just accepted his Fall and made do with what he had. Instead, he spent a whole month ignoring everyone and letting them speak for him. 

The drop of water above him finally fell down, bursting into tiny droplets as it hit the surface of his palm. Gabriel slowly sat up, shaking it off his skin. He stretched out three fingers, tapped them against his chin.

“Water.” He signed to himself. 

A dam burst in his mind, just like when he was in that throne room, standing in front of his brother and properly speaking for the first time since his Fall. A flood of relief inside of him, waves rushing and breaking down the reservations he was holding onto. He thought letting the silence take him was the holiest thing he could do in Hell, but that wasn’t true. The pure joy he felt when he was being heard again, that had to be a miracle. Gabriel didn’t even realize how much he missed that.

He shouldn’t be smiling, it felt wrong to do that down below. Lucifer grinned at him plenty yesterday, but didn’t mean any of it. As Gabriel stared at his own hands, the relief and gratitude he felt were one of the most real things he has ever experienced, Heaven or Hell.

Looking around the tiny room, he reminded himself that he was getting out of here today. Out of this strange limbo where all he could do was sleep and wallow in silence. The new Prince of Sloth got up from his uncomfortable bed and walked up to the sink. A smudged mirror greeted him and he glanced at his reflection. It was still him, but different.

Gabriel used to take great pride in his corporation, it was a gift from his Mother to him, so of course he took good care of it. His body used to look sturdy and strong. Reliable. Now it was thin. Sharp because of the poking-out bones. And before yesterday, that used to make him so angry, to see all these changes to his body without his input. Gabriel would unbutton his shirt, see the ribs barely hiding underneath a layer of skin and press his fingers between them, hard enough to bruise. He was punishing his corporation for doing something without his permission.

Gabriel didn’t do that today. The shirt stayed buttoned up. Instead, he smoothed down the wrinkles in an effort to make himself more presentable for the first day of work. 

He shouldn’t be excited to get out of here, he shouldn’t be glad to be doing something that helped Hell, not Heaven. But he thought the same thing about never speaking again and he was so wrong about that.

Besides, he doesn’t owe Heaven anything after the way they treated him. 

His violet eyes glanced up at the reflection, startled. That wasn’t a good thought. 

Thankfully, a tiny fist chose to bang on his doors before he could have any more of those thoughts. A second later, Beelzebub barged in, mouth open to shout loud enough to wake him up. But then they saw an empty bed and Gabriel already awake, standing by the sink.

“Huh.” Was Beelzebub’s greeting. 

Gabriel blinked. 

“Good morning.” He smoothly touched his chin, then his palm for one sign and bent the elbow, moving his arm towards himself for the other. Beelzebub stared at his signs with a weird expression he hadn’t seen on them before.

“Yes.” They acknowledged his words. And it felt really good.

A silent beat.

“Are you still mad about my promotion?” He asked, mostly because he could.

Beelzebub groaned at that, now looking more like the Beelzebub he was used to. “Don’t remind me. Come on. Your new office is waiting.” 

Gabriel marveled at the simple act of asking a question and getting an answer. He nodded.

He was still getting pushed from one location to another, but it could have been worse. Gabriel left his worried reflection in the mirror and followed Beelzebub with a spring in his step that fit the spacious glass corridors of Heaven more than it did the damp hallways of Hell. He quickly realized that if he wanted to talk-- and he did, desperately --he couldn’t walk behind them so instead he rushed past them with ease. His legs were twice as long as theirs, after all. Walking backward, he faced them and raised his hands. 

“Is he always like that?” He fingerspelled his brother’s name. 

“Do we have to do this?” Beelzebub scowled at him. 

“You mean talking?” He raised his brows. 

“Yes. Especially about Lucifer.” They huffed at which Gabriel frowned. 

“He used to scare me even back in Heaven.” He continued undeterred, still walking in front of them. Beelzebub had no idea how many words he had in himself, how many of them he could offer them now. But they were about to find out. “He always acted like he knew something you didn’t.”

“I think I preferred when you didn’t talk.” Beelzebub diplomatically chose to glare at him instead of engaging in a conversation about their king.

“Then why did you throw notebooks at me!” Gabriel exclaimed with his raised brows and flying hands. 

“You were the one throwing notebooks!” 

Gabriel pursed his lips. They were right. He wasn’t sure he could even begin to explain why he did that. Beelzebub continued to stare at him, annoyed. But it was the kind of look from them that he was used to. And it was better than the thinly-veiled pity or weird curiosity. 

“If you must walk like an idiot and ask me questions, at least make them productive.” They buzzed angrily. Gabriel nodded. He could do that. He shouldn’t want to be good at his new job, but he did. It was always stronger than him, the need to be the best at whatever duty he’s been assigned to. It didn’t matter what the cause was. If God wanted him to be good at delivering messages, he was. If God wanted him to be good at turning humans into pillars of salt, he was. 

“Okay -- what does a Prince do?” He asked. He felt like he should know that but he never paid much attention to the infernal affairs back upstairs. Gabriel didn’t like to think about Hell’s general existence in the past. Times, unfortunately, change.

“Doesn’t matter.” They scoffed at his question. “Nobody expects you to be actually useful. This department had no leadership for quite a while now and I’m pretty sure some demons still think the previous Prince of Sloth is alive, that’s how inconsequential he was.” 

Gabriel squinted his eyes at that. He shouldn’t register that as an insult, but he did. 

“If it’s so unimportant, then why are you mad I got this position?” He signed while a grimace tugged sharply at one corner of his mouth. 

Beelzebub stopped. So did he.

They stared at each other. Gabriel didn’t remember throwing them a challenge but apparently, he just did, judging from the way they looked at him. Their eyes were dark and searching for a point to strike. 

“I became a Prince because I fought for it.” Beelzebub finally spoke, forgetting to sound disinterested. “You got this job because you just happened to have an important brother. This isn’t what I Fell for.”

Gabriel chewed on Beelzebub’s words for a second. Which wasn’t enough time to actually consider them because instead of responding with consideration, he simply raised his brows sarcastically and signed: “So you chose to Fall? What was that like?” 

Beelzebub balked, clearly stunned by his ability to make their confession about himself. They opened their mouth but closed it fast. Then, they simply walked past him without a word and Gabriel chose to see it as a victory, following them behind. Beelzebub stopped just a few steps later and he braced himself for a cruel remark that came to them but all they did was point at some dust-covered door. He squinted at the plaque on the wall. 

Department of Sloth.

“Here you go, your majesty. Your brand new kingdom.” Beelzebub gestured at it in a needlessly theatrical way. Gabriel thought about how they liked him more when he couldn’t talk and how he liked them more when they thought he was at their mercy. 

“Aren’t you going to brief me?” He asked, staring down at them like he used to before the whole Falling mess. 

“No.” Said Beelzebub and simply turned on their heels, walking away. They often left the official Hell and Heaven meetings in the same exact way back when he was still an Archangel. Simply walking out without answering his important questions.

“I hate it when you do that.” Gabriel signed even though he knew they couldn’t see it. Or he did that precisely because they couldn’t see it. 

Once Beelzebub’s back disappeared at the end of the corridor, he turned his head to stare at the doors before him. Gabriel used to have his own department in Heaven. Officially, it was known as the Communications office, in practice, it was an Everything office. He placed a hand on the doorknob. This was something he was more than qualified to do. 

But the question was, should he do it? Or would Mother approve? 

It would have been a different story if he was forced to do this. If Lucifer met him with a drawn sword and threats, it would have been easier to make this decision. If he was forced to work for Hell, he wouldn’t have to wonder about this so deeply. He scowled. Lucifer always had to complicate things.

Finally, Gabriel decided that it wasn’t in his nature to think about his choices. 

So, he turned the doorknob and briskly walked inside. A hushed gasp welcomed him and he froze in confusion. 

“Oh! Hello!” A very mousey looking demon scrambled to stand up, almost toppling over the tower of documents on her desk. Gabriel’s first distracted thought was that he has to do something about the way everyone stored their documents down here. His second distracted thought was that he didn’t expect anyone inside. The third distracted and disappointed thought was that he wanted a private office, not something resembling a secretarial pool. 

Though, that was too generous of a description. He was currently standing in a room that barely contained three desks and only two of them were occupied. One belonged to a very nervous demon who just greeted him, the other was serving as a nap spot for a quietly snoring mountain of hair. He knew he should have responded to the excited hello first, but he couldn’t help but to look transfixed at the slow inhales and exhales of the sleeping demon. His hair was so long, that Gabriel couldn’t even see his face. Some furry creature stirred on top of the napping demon’s head and looked at him sluggishly. 

“I know, right? A sloth. A little bit on the nose.” The other demon laughed awkwardly at the animal and gave Gabriel a very nervous smile, showing off her buck teeth. Gabriel finally looked at her properly. She was short, but then again, almost everyone was next to him. The demon was wearing an outdated tweed suit in a shade of gray that definitely didn’t help the immediate mouse connection surrounding her. She jumped towards him and stretched out her hand with a little bit too much energy. Her short hair bobbed as she introduced herself: “Hi! Sorry, I just am so excited to meet you, I got the memo from Prince Beelzebub this morning and I just-- oh, my name is Gemma!” 

Gabriel stared at her hand, then at her. And carefully shook it. The buck-teethed demon noted his apprehension and chose to mask the awkwardness by babbling even louder. 

“I mean, it’s not officially Gemma, it’s actually Gemmoroth but that’s such a mouthful, I have no idea why I chose that after my Fall but that’s what was popular at the time, I guess. Everyone was choosing such scary-sounding names… Gemma fits me better, I think. Anyways, I was Belphegor’s assistant before, um, he got… well, fired.” Gemma winced a bit. 

She was still shaking his hand. Gabriel didn’t mind. To him, it was the first normal gesture in this strange place. But if she wanted him to reply, he had to free himself from her hold. He smiled at her and pulled his hand back. 

“Is it just you?” Gabriel signed, raising his brows. Gemma stared at his moving palms with a slightly open mouth and blinked.

“Oh! Prince Beelzebub mentioned this, um, method of communication in their memo but I had no idea this is what it looks like!” She quickly moved to obscure her surprise with more awkwardness, which seemed to be her go-to tactic for every workplace embarrassment. “It’s amazing!” 

Gabriel continued to smile, somehow automatically slipping into his benevolent Archangel-boss mode. A lot of low-rank angels approached him in this flustered way. 

Especially those who remembered the First War. 

“It’s alright.” He signed quickly and watched the nervousness instantly seep out of her. She was different from the demons he encountered so far, he couldn’t help but like that. “So, is it just you?” He repeated the question.

Gemma, now more relaxed after his simple reassurance, cleared her throat. “Well. Sort of.” She turned to look at the sleeping demon next to her desk. The sloth that initially inspected Gabriel’s entrance was already napping alongside its owner. “That’s Forras. The day Belphegor got fired, he said he’s going to take a quick nap and he’s been sleeping ever since.” 

Gabriel glanced at the sleeping demon with a weird sense of respect. If his math was correct, that meant at least fifty years of continued slumber. Gemma sighed and put hands on her hips, finally showing an emotion other than anxiety. 

“I tried waking him up many, many times but he just won’t budge… I left him here because it’s nice having someone to bounce ideas off… Even if they’re asleep.” She sounded resigned. “Besides, I don’t think you could separate him from this chair.” 

Gabriel didn’t know what to say to that. Gemma cleared her throat, clapping hands in an attempt to bring the energy up. 

“Right then, I’ll show you around! I’m so excited to have a Prince again, it’s been too long. Truth to be told, I thought the other Princes forgot about us.” Gemma was back to laughing nervously and Gabriel didn’t have the heart to tell her that it’s highly possible that they did. “So, this is where I do my work! And where Forras naps. And to the right is your office.” She pointed at the doors that Gabriel somehow didn’t notice before.

Thank God, he almost signed but stopped himself. He wasn’t sure he was allowed to say that phrase anymore, even though it seemed fit to thank the Almighty for his own room. He thought he was going to have to work here, in this shared workspace.

“I’m afraid it’s been… um, ransacked after Prince Belphegor’s departure but that just means you’ll have space for your own things!” Gemma’s voice started out cautiously but then jumped straight back into undeterred optimism in a leap that impressed even Gabriel. “And to the left, we have the storage room which is where we keep our files. And fire extinguishers in case of Hellfire.” 

Gabriel nodded, taking it all in. He walked over to the door to his office, opening it with a creak. Gemma wasn't lying. The room definitely looked looted. All the furniture was missing, there were some slashes on the empty walls and someone scattered yellowed papers all over the floor. The only object that survived the robbery was a huge bed frame, definitely fit for a Prince of Sloth. But the most important thing for Gabriel was that it was a big room. And its emptiness was actually a welcome, familiar sight. 

He could work with this. All he needed to do was to make it brighter. He briefly thought about some windows before he remembered where he was. 

Gabriel turned around to see Gemma patiently waiting for him to finish his inspections, fiddling with a clipboard in her hands. Raising his brows, he commented:

“You look eager to work.” His hands moved in quick and astonished strokes. “I had no idea there are demons like you.”

“Oh!” She tucked some of her hair behind her ear, glancing away to hide her flustered expression. “I know, doesn’t exactly fit the image of the department of Sloth but it’s just… I’ve worked in almost every office in Hell but this is the first one where nobody tells me to slow down and stop giving everyone around anxiety.” 

Gabriel thought that it could have something to do with the fact that she was all alone here and her only other co-worker has been sleeping for the past five decades. But he didn’t voice that, he simply smiled at her.

“I think it’s commendable. You’d make a great angel.” He signed and waited for her grateful response. Gemma didn’t give it to him. Suddenly, her eager energy dimmed considerably and Gabriel caught a glimpse of something resentful in her eyes. But whatever it was, she got over it in a second and forced a polite, secretarial smile back onto her round face.

“So, do you have anything planned for your first day at work?” She changed the subject and Gabriel felt his own smile wilt. But instead of wondering what was so forbidden about what he just said, he scratched at his cheek and shrugged:

“You could tell me about my duties.” He replied, moving his hands hesitantly. 

“Yes, of course! I forget, you’re new here.” Gemma shook head at herself. 

Gabriel had no idea how someone could mistake him for a local, briefly forgetting about the tar on his body and his clothes. Maybe she didn’t get out much, he thought as he watched Gemma scurry back to her desk and take a deep breath while straightening up. He knew what that posture meant, he recognized it easily. It meant a presentation was coming. So Gabriel grabbed a free chair, blew the dust off it and sat down. And with administrative ease, he gestured at her with an open palm, telling her to proceed, like he’s been doing this his whole existence. And in a way, he has. Just in a different context. 

“Right, so!” Gemma was back to being loud and energetic again, forgetting about whatever blunder Gabriel just committed. She clapped her hands enthusiastically like she’s been dying to tell someone about the office agenda for years. “As you probably know, all of Hell’s departments are responsible for enforcing a specific influence on humans. Wrath makes them commit sins of anger, Envy cripples their actions with jealousy and Lust, um…” 

Gabriel politely raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to finish. 

“Well, you know.” Gemma chased away the rest of her sentence with a frantic wave of her hand. “Our department is tasked with getting humans to, um, do nothing actually.” 

“That doesn’t sound very evil.” Gabriel noted, confused. He thought the definition of sin included some kind of mean action in it. Like stabbing. Or lying.

“Well, it’s not particularly good either, right?” Gemma replied cautiously, clearly unable to tell if Gabriel thought it was a welcome quality or not. “They could go out and volunteer, which is good, or they could stay home and nap.” 

Gabriel nodded absentmindedly. That still didn’t seem very demonic to him. Maybe he could work with this. It didn’t seem half as bad as influencing humans to do things like murder or whatever else it was that they did. 

Stealing. Stealing is also a thing, he reminded himself.

“So, basically, what our office does is think of the ways to sway humans into doing nothing instead of doing the nice, virtuous things that Heaven likes.” She noted her accidental use of the word ‘Heaven’ and threw a panicked glance at Gabriel, but he was still staring at the floor, distracted by his thoughts. Gemma quickly carried on: “And then we make those ways official and send them out to the field agents.” 

Gabriel glanced back at her and reclined in his chair. “And you’ve been doing that on your own this whole time?” 

His new assistant winced like he just caught her doing something she wasn’t allowed to. “I tried to-- I stayed busy, I really did. But only a Prince can authorize a new way of influencing humans… But between you and me…” She paused and rummaged for something in her drawer. Producing a neatly-bound file, she handed it to him and Gabriel accepted it with curiosity. 

“I’ve been working on a new concept and I’ve been gradually introducing it to Earth in secret.” Gemma was now standing close to him, leaning over his shoulder with a conspiratory note in her hushed voice. “I’ve been calling it…” She even paused for the right effect. “--procrastination! It’s a brand way new of thinking about sloth. Basically, you take a human that needs to do something but you distract it with something else to do, something that’s much nicer but useless!”

“Like what?” Gabriel asked once she moved back to her desk. He used to visit Earth a lot compared to other Archangels but he never claimed to be an expert in human activities. 

“Like watching a movie. Or eating a lot! As you can see, there’s potential for some cross-department synergy with the Gluttony office. And possibly some other departments.” Gemma explained eagerly. “It’s really effective, this way the humans get tortured twice, not only they’re not doing the right thing that they’re supposed to, but they’re also doing something else that’s not very virtuous! And the best thing is that they’re completely aware of that! And they _hate_ it.” 

Gabriel didn’t know if he was supposed to be impressed with that but he nodded slowly with appreciation anyways. If anything, he could always respect hard work and dedication even if he didn’t understand the motivation. It’s why he commanded Aziraphale on trying to sway the Antichrist during his upbringing. Climb every mountain and all that. Opening the file Gemma handed him just now, he leafed through the pages, briefly skimming headlines explaining the whole concept. It did seem effective and not particularly nefarious to him. Wasn’t resting and doing fun activities a good thing for humans?

“I’ve even been experimenting with getting them to do something productive, like cleaning, while they put off their important things. I think it has a lot of potential, they still feel bad even though they’re doing something that seems useful!”

Before Gemma could continue her excited presentation, Gabriel held up a hand to interrupt her and asked: “What do you need to get this authorized?” 

“Oh!” She blinked and rushed to him, pulling out the last page of the document: “Just a signature from the head of the department.” 

Gabriel patted his chest, forgetting that he lost his suit jacket a long time ago and his favorite fountain pen with it. Undeterred, he looked around and grabbed the cheap-looking orange pen from a cup on the nearest desk. And then he signed the paper and handed it back to her with a smile. 

Gemma sighed like she was about to collapse from gratitude. She snatched the file and tugged it close to her chest, protecting it from any second thoughts. “Thank you. Oh, Satan. Thank you, you have no idea how long I have waited for this.” 

“You should be proud, it seems like a very good invention.” Gabriel nodded, trying to look humble even though her profound thanks made him feel very pleased. “I like that you kept working even without your boss around. That’s impressive!” 

Gemma blinked at him and he wasn’t sure if he signed everything correctly but the audible sniff coming from her made him think that maybe demons weren’t used to being praised. 

“Thank you, sir. It’s going to be-- great working under you, I can tell.” She quickly wiped her eyes with the tweed sleeve. Gabriel reclined in his seat in lieu of taking a surprised step back.

“Of course.” He signed, perplexed. 

“I’ll-- I’ll get these to the main Earth office right away.” Gemma was sniffing again and Gabriel didn’t stop her at all as she rushed past him, basically running out of the room. 

Huh, he wished he could say. 

The busy, nervous energy in the office left with Gemma and her documents. Now it was just him and the napping demon. Gabriel glanced at him but nothing’s changed since he last looked at him. The shapeless mass of hair with a sloth on top of it was still sleeping, slumped against the desk. 

“Well.” He signed at him anyways. “Not bad for the first day of work, right?” 

A soft snoring noise was the only response he got. 

Gabriel stood up, feeling even more energy than he did in the morning. This office had undeniable potential and it did seem like a good fit for him. He wasn’t making humans commit violent sins, which Mother definitely wouldn’t approve of. In fact, he was making them do nice things. Everybody needed some rest from time to time. Crossing his arms, Gabriel looked around his new domain. It was covered in dust and needed to be thoroughly reorganized, but he could do this. He could whip this place into shape and make it work. 

And maybe, just possibly, perhaps make Beelzebub eat those words about him getting this position only because of Lucifer. 

With a smile hiding in the corners of his mouth, Gabriel walked over to his private office, feeling motivated for the first time since his Fall. He opened the doors, only to be greeted by a flurry of feathers and talons launching itself at him with a deafening shriek. 

The sudden piercing sound was loud enough to be heard even outside the office, something Beelzebub could confirm themselves as they stomped towards it. They were armed with a scowl and a perfect retort they failed to think of in the morning when walking Gabriel to his office. They really should have just let it go, but something about Gabriel’s infuriating facial expression made them unable to stop thinking about his words. Somebody clearly needed to tell him where to stuff his Archangelic entitlement and it was up to Beelzebub. Which was why they were already back, standing before his office.

But before Beelzebub could barge into Gabriel’s department and tell him that nobody cares if he didn’t Fall willingly, Gabriel himself shot out of his office in clear panic, arms covering his face as a strange mass of feathers and ink followed him. 

It wasn’t often that Beelzebub felt too stunned to even speak but somehow, those situations always involved Gabriel. They froze as the former Archangel soundlessly tripped over his stupidly long legs and pressed himself flat against the wall in pure terror. The shrieking assailant continued to peck at his head, flapping its wings loudly and shedding feathers everywhere. Beelzebub suddenly understood what they were looking at and their mouth stretched into a grin and then a triumphant laugh. 

Gabriel was currently trying to avoid getting pecked to death by his newly-arrived animal aspect which was a very angry peacock. Fittingly, it also looked like it took a bath in a tar pit as its owner did before it. The feathers that should have been beautiful and colorful were instead mottled and black, resembling a survivor of an oil spill. The sickly-looking bird suddenly whipped its head around and squawked loudly at them. 

Beelzebub stopped laughing. 

It launched itself at them and they barely avoided the attack, sidestepping just in time. The peacock landed awkwardly, turned around, shrieked at them and then ran away, leaving a trail of tar-covered feather behind. 

“Well.” Beelzebub watched its ugly tail full of bleak and broken quills disappear behind a corner. “Congratulations on finally getting your animal aspect.” 

Gabriel was still breathing heavily like he just ran away from certain death. He was also still pressing himself against the wall, covered in many scratches and small round wounds. 

“Is that--” He started signing in shock but got distracted in the middle of the sentence by the stinging cuts on his hands. Gabriel lifted them up to his eyes, somehow looking insulted by the mere presence of scratches on his skin. Shaking his head, he picked up where he left off: “Is that what that thing was?” 

“No doubt about it.” Beelzebub was glad he wasn’t asking what they were doing outside his office in the first place. “You’re officially a demon now.” 

They expected Gabriel to look miserable at that declaration, but he was still too preoccupied with the attack on his pride. His hands moved in a flurry like the one he just survived: “Do I have to have one? And can I get another? I hate those things.” 

Beelzebub snorted. “You don’t pick it, they pick you. Consider it your mum getting in the last word.” 

Giving the former Archangel a reminder of his lost wings in such an animated way was another peak of poetry Beelzebub had to quietly admire. Unfortunately.

Gabriel glanced at the end of the hallway where the peacock has run off to. Suddenly, they could both hear some other demons yelling in panic as they were chased by angry honks. Beelzebub fought really hard not to laugh again, but they failed and snorted grossly.

“It’s not funny.” Gabriel snapped his head towards them and signed with a lot of anger. 

“It absolutely is.” Beelzebub looked at his heaving chest, scratched up face, furrowed brows and found themselves throwing their head back and cackling again.

Gabriel raised his hands to no doubt sign some sort of swear word at them, but then a sound of clawed bird feet rapidly approaching them interrupted him. 

“Oh shit.” Beelzebub said it for him as the peacock barrelled at them from the other end of the corridor. 

The bird screamed with murderous fury, clearly intent on repeating its assault. Its sickly wings thrashed wildly in the air and Gabriel barely ducked just in time. The bird bounced off the wall and corrected its course to try its luck with Beelzebub, who wasn’t laughing anymore. But they also managed to dodge its assault, feeling the tar-covered feathers beat against their face in an unpleasant sticky sensation. The menace flew over them and landed clumsily inside the office, honking threateningly.

Before it could take flight again, Gabriel closed the doors by quickly slamming them shut with his shoulder, trapping the bird inside. Beelzebub also pressed their body against them, uncertain that a simple piece of wood could withstand the rage they just witnessed. 

“Why is it so mean?” Gabriel signed with shaky, still bleeding hands. 

The peacock honked loudly and started pecking at the doors as if it knew they were talking about it. Beelzebub shook their head. 

“How should I know? It’s an extension of you. That’s how the animal aspects work, they match what’s already inside you.” They wondered if Gabriel was going to take this opportunity to inspect the apparently unchecked rage inside of him, but he just furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“Your flies are an extension of you?” He signed and flinched when the peacock slammed its body against the doors. 

Beelzebub rolled their eyes. “Yes, idiot. I don’t expect you to understand so don’t even try.” 

Gabriel pursed his lips at the insult. And flinched again as the trapped bird attacked the thin layer of wood with its beak. “What am I supposed to do with this thing?” He asked, not bothering to hide his annoyance. 

“I don’t know? You’re the first demon with this problem I’ve ever met. Nobody else I know can say that their animal aspect tried to kill them at first sight.” Beelzebub shrugged with the shoulder that wasn’t currently pressing against the doors in a weak attempt to hold down the barricade. “Maybe it will tire itself out.” 

Gabriel squinted his eyes but then he froze, listening in. Judging by the quiet clicks of clawed feet, the peacock was walking away from the door, already bored with them. Beelzebub watched Gabriel sigh soundlessly and pinch the bridge of his nose with one hand. 

Then he looked at them. “What were you doing here anyway?” His signing was slightly squashed from the fact that he was still pressing his side against the doors but they understood him well enough.

Beelzebub also wasn’t willing to step away from the doors. Just in case the monster came back. 

“Walking to Leviathan’s office.” They lied smoothly. 

“You picked the wrong way.” 

“How would you know?” They scrunched up their nose.

Gabriel shrugged. “I have a really good sense of direction.”

Beelzebub supposed that a glorified postman should have one of those.

“I wanted to check if you were doing your job.” They lied again. Beelzebub didn’t like how caring this made them sound but they thought it was more dignified than saying ‘I finally came up with a good remark for what you said this morning and I wanted to tell you off, so here I am.’ 

Gabriel’s entire face lit up. “Yes, I signed a document today!” 

“Congratulations.” They responded dryly. 

“Thank you.” He signed back with genuine enthusiasm. Beelzebub thought about explaining that they were being sarcastic but after a second of consideration, they let him have it. 

They both turned their attention back to the door before them, carefully listening in. Beelzebub couldn’t hear any screaming or squawking. Gabriel glanced at them with a question in his eyes and they wordlessly shrugged at him. He nodded and inhaled air sharply, opening the door carefully. 

The peacock was on a desk, passionately raking random documents to shreds with its feet. It lifted its head to honk at them but then it returned to its current project, pecking at the growing pile of paper scraps. 

“Well, at least it didn’t attack you.” Beelzebub turned to Gabriel to watch his response. 

“Don’t remind it.” Gabriel winced. 

“Best of luck getting along.” Beelzebub slapped Gabriel’s back in a very amused gesture of support. He scowled in a very impressive display of disapproval, Beelzebub had no idea that a face could even contort this hard.

“All in all, seems like a very productive first day.” They added.

The peacock agreed with a shrill scream. Beelzebub thought that the Almighty was really onto something when She made them in Gabriel’s image. They were beautiful on the outside and extremely annoying the second they opened their beaks. 

As if to prove their point, Gabriel replied: “At least you’re not mad at me anymore.” 

“Give it time.” They rolled their eyes at his dumb confidence. 

“Fair.” Gabriel agreed, in a rare moment of self-awareness. 

Maybe we can make this work, thought Beelzebub as they watched Gabriel carefully walk towards his new private office, glaring at the bird who glared right back at him. The new Prince of Sloth walked backwards into the room and signed Beelzebub a serious warning: “Run.” 

And then he closed the door behind himself, causing the peacock to shriek demonically and flap its wings in a fit of fury after losing sight of its main target.

Beelzebub didn’t need to be told twice. There was nothing dignified in the way they fled Gabriel’s office and there was nothing dignified in that one last amused snort they tried to muffle with their hand pressed to their mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL. ITS FINALLY HERE. im crying i hope i didnt disappoint with the reveal of gabriel's animal, i just. really think peacocks on the whole fit him and having worked near a place with three peacocks just hanging out in a garden i can personally attest to them being loud and annoying as fuck. i still love them tho. google peacock screams, just sit back and enjoy.
> 
> also i edited this chapter very late at night im SO sorry for clunkiness or mistakes, i was just so eager to share, this was very fun to write because gabriel is finally getting back to being gabriel and i do love one dumb idiot asshat and ive literally been dying to write his peacock ever since i conceptualized this story... AND GEMMA i also love her and the entire concept of this department in hell. god thats so much worldbuilding what am i doing. i think good omens legally belongs to me now.
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER: not a chapter. something extra, a filler episode if you will!


	7. EXTRA: it's a beautiful day in hell and you are a horrible peacock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a filler chapter, meaning that it doesn't progress the main plot and can be skipped if you so desire.

One day, Peacock was not and then it was. And since its grand arrival, some time has passed. Peacock had no need for things such as calendars or watches, it simply observed Big Bird’s routine and that’s how it understood the days and nights rotating. 

Big Bird was the strange creature Peacock was connected to. It didn’t particularly enjoy that relation. Big Bird was a very boring companion, all he did was sleep or sit behind a desk. Sometimes he slept at the desk. The only reason why Peacock entertained his presence was because it figured that birds of a feather should flock together. Big Bird had no wings on him, but Peacock could tell he was a fellow avian. Somehow, the only other bird living in this dark and damp place.

Also, Big Bird’s head was a perfect perching spot. When Peacock climbed on top of him, it became the Biggest Bird. As it should be. It didn’t matter that Big Bird really hated when it did that, Peacock hated many things about him in return. 

For example, it hated when Big Bird put things out of its reach, scowling at it. It hated when Big Bird didn’t wake up early enough, which was every day. It hated when Big Bird didn’t open the door, trapping Peacock in his boring room. This was unacceptable. It wanted to be free, free to roam this awful place and remind everyone around that it’s the most important bird in here. Usually, Peacock dealt with this by screaming long enough to provoke Big Bird into sighing hard and getting up to open the door. 

Then, Peacock would run out, seeking a target. Anyone could be a target. Because everyone in this strange place was beneath it. And Peacock hated seeing other being walk the halls like they deserved to be breathing the same air as it does. Such disrespect had to be punished, preferably by striking at the exposed weak points, like ankles. The yelps of confused demons scrambling away from Peacock were like music to its ears. 

Sometimes, Peacock got creative. Just to keep things interesting. Today was one of those days. During its inspection tour, it saw an office open, just waiting for it to come inside. Peacock did, assuming it was being invited. Peacock stalked inside and saw a bunch of desks, which was boring. If it wanted to see desks, it would have stayed in Big Bird’s office. Displeased with this discovery, it jumped onto the nearest one. A demon was sitting behind it and they yelped, seeing Peacock. 

“No, please, not again.” The demon begged. Peacock screamed at them for daring to address it directly. And knocked over a cup with its flapping wings, spilling some hot liquid all over demon’s important papers. Peacock knew they were important because the demon reacted with a helpless shriek, scrambling to save them. Its job was done here so it hopped off and dashed out, hoping the lesson would sink in this time. 

Big Bird happened to be outside the office, walking alongside the Many Flies that called themselves Beelzebub. Peacock squawked at him and jumped at his chest.

Oh God, groaned Big Bird, grabbing it. Peacock hissed at his lack of enthusiasm at seeing it. It considering pecking at his earlobe but decided to be merciful today. It climbed out of Big Bird's hold onto his shoulders and jumped on top of his head, sinking claws into his scalp. Peacock screamed to announce its brave conquest of this mountain. Big Bird just sighed through his nose, clearly upset about losing his status of the Biggest Bird. Too bad. It belonged to Peacock now. 

“Anyway, as I was saying.” Many Flies buzzed as they resumed their walk. “If you want to do something with Archives, you’ll have to ask Dagon.” 

“I don’t know yet. I’ll have to see what I’m working with.” Big Bird moved its featherless wings in a strange way. Peacock didn’t know why he did that. “Wait, aren’t Archives under your authority?” 

“Officially, yes.” Many Flies shrugged, glancing at him. “But Dagon has a system and I try not to interfere. Last time I did that, she almost bit my hand clean off.” 

They continued to talk but Peacock decided their conversation was too boring to keep track of. So it settled on getting comfortable on top of Big Bird and got busy with glaring at any demon walking past them. All of them shrank under its gaze, small or big, those carrying papers or those carrying weapons. All of them knew better than to stare at its glory directly. 

Big Bird and Many Flies paused their walk. They entered a dusty room, filled with endless metal cabinets. The ceiling seemed to be lower than usual, almost brushing against Peacock’s beautiful crest. It didn’t pay to be the Biggest Bird at this exact moment so it jumped down to the ground, running off to explore the room it hadn’t seen before. 

That’s a lot of files, said Big Bird. 

“Mhm.” Agreed Many Flies.

Between the cabinets, Peacock saw a strange white object. It was like a sink bowl, but much larger and narrower. It hopped onto the edge of the thing, squawking loudly at its audacity of being a mystery. Many Flies and Big Bird joined Peacock immediately. 

“Oh, I forgot that we put that here.” Many Flies kicked the side of the strange thing. “It’s the bathtub we used for our Traitor’s execution.” 

“Why is it here?” Asked Big Bird, furrowing his brows. He approached the bathtub, peering inside. It was empty. 

“Well, we were going to thoroughly inspect it to check whether it somehow helped him survive.” Many Flies muttered. “I guess nobody got around to it.” 

Big Bird was still staring at the tub as if he was expecting to see something inside of it. But there was nothing. Peacock even jumped inside to demonstrate how empty it was. Not a single drop of water left. It honked. Big Bird’s violet eyes turned to look at Peacock, something curious shining inside of them. 

“Alright, come on.” Many Flies summoned back Big Bird’s attention. He glanced up at them and followed their disappearing steps to do more boring things together. Presumably. Peacock didn’t stick around to find out. It hopped out of the bathtub, looked around, screamed at the file cabinets for being so uninteresting and left the dusty room. 

Then it spent the rest of the day chasing around a very ugly mutt, knocking over office supplies and stealing shiny pens from helpless demons. Once Peacock was pleased with its productivity and the screams of frustration were no longer interesting to it, it retreated to Big Bird’s nest. His bed was empty, which meant he was still off doing his dull things. Taking advantage of that, Peacock jumped onto the top of the bed and got comfortable. Big Bird arrived shortly after. Strangely enough, he didn’t roll his eyes at Peacock taking residence in his bed. They fought this battle every night. 

No, this evening, Big Bird barely glanced at it. That was not enough attention that Peacock deserved. It squawked loudly with indignation. 

Big Bird finally turned his head to look at Peacock, stopping by his private desk. He had a look of someone trying to think of something really hard. 

I have to do one more thing, said Big Bird cautiously. 

When they were alone, he didn’t move his hands strangely. He didn’t need to. Peacock squinted its eyes at him. 

Stay here, asked Big Bird very slowly to make sure he’s understood. Do not follow me under any circumstances, okay buddy?

And then he left the room without closing the door. Peacock sat in silence for a short beat. Then it screamed and hopped off the bed, sprinting after Big Bird. Giving it orders, who does he think he is? 

It found Big Bird in the dusty room they visited earlier today. He was standing by the bathtub again, consumed by his stupid thoughts. Peacock shrieked at him, hopping onto the edge to be able to glare at the taller bird better. Then it noticed the bathtub wasn’t empty anymore. It had water in it. Not enough to fill it full, but there was a considerable amount sloshing gently inside. 

Peacock hopped around, fascinated. It dipped its head low, inspecting the liquid. It was just water. Simple, non-holy water. 

And then Big Bird pushed it inside. Peacock shrieked, thrashing its wings and splashing water everywhere. 

Hold on, hold on-- Big Bird tried to placate it, hold it down in one spot but Peacock burst out of the bathtub, screaming at the betrayal it just survived. It didn’t even pause to rake its claws over Big Bird’s face as it should have. It ran away as fast as it could, weighed down by its now miserably wet feathers. 

Big Bird sighed loudly but Peacock was too furious to even look at him. It ran away and this night, it did not come back to the nest. 

In fact, it didn’t come back for the next night either. Or the night after it.

* * *

“What did you do to that bird, Gabriel?” Beelzebub barged inside of his office, leaving the door open. Behind them, in the hallway, stood a tiny crowd of demons. Most of them had their faces covered in still-bleeding claw marks. Gabriel exhaled through his nose and closed the file he was reading. He was slowly getting the hang of the way demons filled out their reports, so he thought he could catch up with the documents regarding the Apocalypse and get the other side of the story.

“What.” He signed with a blank expression on his face, not exactly pleased with the interruption. 

“You did something to it.” Beelzebub pointed an accusatory finger at him. “It’s never been this bad.”

“It scratched up my dog, it did!” A familiar face yelled from the hallway. Gabriel turned his annoyed gaze towards the rabble outside and then glanced at Beelzebub who got the message and slammed the door shut. The outraged demons outside muttered some curses and dispersed. 

Beelzebub spread their arms, clearly still waiting for an explanation from him. Gabriel sighed again. 

“I tried to give it a bath.” He finally answered their question, feeling very stupid for some reason. 

Beelzebub shook their head, clearly baffled. “Why?” 

“I wanted to clean its feathers--” He stopped signing. The rest of his sentence was replaced by a shrug. 

“Oh, you wanted to make them look as good as they looked back in Heaven?” Beelzebub raised a brow, very unimpressed with his answer. 

Gabriel didn’t answer, staring down at the closed file. 

“Do us all a favor, leave the bird out of whatever mess you still have to work through. Because it’s making everyone around miserable when it should be just you.” Beelzebub’s anger somehow felt like a bucket of cold water dropped on top of him. Gabriel slowly realized that the nagging feeling that’s been following him ever since the bathtub accident was guilt.

“It’s just a bird.” He signed without looking at them. 

“Keep telling yourself that.” They replied.

Beelzebub turned around, placing their hand on the doorknob. “Go look for it before it decides to pick a fight with Lucifer.” 

They left without slamming the door this time.

* * *

Peacock was still angry. When it ran past the door to Big Bird’s office, it suddenly stopped in its tracks. The door was left open. It had been open for the past few nights but it didn't notice that in its righteous fury. Peacock squawked. Tonight, it will finally let Big Bird know what it thought about him dunking it in water. 

It had thought a lot of bad things about that attack on its dignity. Most of them angry. Some of them sad, for a reason it didn’t understand. It preferred to focus on the angry ones.

Peacock peered inside the office and hopped over to Big Bird’s nest. It was late so it knew it would be able to sneak in without a problem. Another door was left open and soon Peacock was inside Big Bird’s room. But he wasn’t there. His bed was empty. Peacock instinctively jumped on top of it, realizing it missed its comforts. It tucked its feet underneath itself and slumped down. 

Oh, a relieved sound made its way to Peacock’s ears and it perked up. Big Bird was standing in the doorframe. There you are. 

Big Bird walked towards it, somehow thinking he was allowed to. Peacock squinted its eyes and screeched threateningly. Big Bird slowed down but didn’t stop his approach. Now he moved cautiously as if Peacock was going to attack any second. And he was right in assuming so. Peacock allowed him to get closer but when he tried to sit on the bed next to it, it snapped its beak at him. Big Bird flinched and raised his hands defensively. Then he looked around, winced and sat down on the floor in front of it.

Peacock liked that. This is how all of their conversations should look like, Peacock on the bed and Big Bird cowering on the floor. 

I was looking for you, started Big Bird. 

Peacock didn’t care. It even turned its head away from Big Bird, pointedly ignoring him. 

I wasn’t trying to drown you, buddy. I just-- thought I was helping you. 

Peacock still wasn’t looking at Big Bird, it didn’t see him pinch the bridge of his nose but it did hear him exhale slowly with frustration. 

Okay, hold on. 

A strange shuffling sound caused Peacock to finally turn its head towards Big Bird. It hopped to its feet in surprise, scrambling back. Big Bird again raised his hands in a placating gesture but Peacock simply had to squawk at the sight of massive wings now sprouting from his back. They were huge and they belonged to Peacock too. They had the same feathers, same quills ending in barbs and bleak eyes, same black and shiny tar stuck to them. 

Peacock knew Big Bird was a bird too, its instincts were right. It threw its head back to yell in triumph. Big Bird pressed his finger to his lips in an attempt to shush it, but it didn’t care about that. Peacock was right about everything, as usual. Big Bird even had the same kind of plumage, glistening with the same kind of ink, awash with the same shades of black and grey. Their shared wings were grand, they told a story of diving deep into pollution and reemerging, they were a pitch-black trap drawing in gazes and ensnaring them between the feathers.

But Big Bird wasn't looking at his wings with amazement. His violet eyes were empty. He stretched one wing and watched it brush against the ceiling. It moved slowly and lethargically, but to Peacock that simple motion was breathtaking.

I just thought-- I don’t know, if I fixed you, I could fix these too. 

Big Bird fell silent after his explanation. Peacock glanced at his blank face and the beautiful, enormous wings behind him, not understanding. What was there to fix? They were just like Peacock’s wings and that meant there was nothing to fix. 

Big Bird looked at him, something unreadable in his eyes. And then he exhaled with sad amusement.

I guess so, he agreed with Peacock. It’s just different from what I’m used to. 

Peacock honked dismissively. That didn’t matter. They were beautiful now and definitely better than whatever they used to be. Big Bird nodded absentmindedly. 

I’m sorry, he apologized. 

Peacock felt like he should be saying that to his own wings but decided to take it. It tilted its head and squawked in approval. 

Okay. Big Bird sighed with relief. That’s settled then. Are you going to let me sleep on my bed tonight?

Peacock let out a shrill yell. He shouldn’t relax just yet. 

Alright, geez. Big Bird winced at the sound. 

It watched him climb to his feet, folding his wings in a confusing way that made them disappear completely. Big Bird shook his head and walked to his desk. And then started doing some boring things that Peacock did not bother to watch. Instead, it got comfortable on the mattress and closed its eyes. Peacock felt sorry for Big Bird. To own such beautiful feathers and not even realize how impressive they are. Thankfully, it was here now to show him how to carry them. 

Before it fell asleep, Peacock wondered how Big Bird even managed to function without it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH i wanted to write this tiny thing ever since i conceived the whole story eheheh... hope this was fun to read, it was fun to write for sure !!!! 
> 
> OH ALSO, i made a pinterest board for this story if youre into something like that (i am, i love pinterest lol): [HERE ](https://pl.pinterest.com/vodkayote/story-tarred-and-feathered-aes/). its gabriel-centric but i might do something for beelzebub too since theyre also a main character in this story
> 
> next chapter might take me a while to write bc its a doozy. somebody tell gabriel to not get comfortable just yet because
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER: family reunion ...........2!!


	8. keeping up with the archangels

“What is this?” Asked Beelzebub, staring incredulously at the paper presented to them. The author of the document, a rather scrawny demon, winced. He fixed the grimy glasses on his pockmarked face and replied carefully: 

“A… a reassignment form, sir.” 

“I can see that.” Beelzebub hissed from behind their teeth, glaring at the petitioner. “The part I need to be clarified is your audacity to ask to switch departments.”

This has never happened before. Yes, demons left their office all the time, mostly because Beelzebub fired them after one disappointment too many. But nobody has ever approached them directly, asking to leave. They couldn’t even place what was this thin demon’s position but they knew he will have to be replaced somehow. Which meant additional effort they did not ask for.

“I…” Judging from the way the demon hesitated to say even one full word around them, he had to be an intern of sorts. Hell was full of them. Beelzebub rolled their eyes, returning to the offending document on their desk. 

“Hold on, it says here you’re transferring to the Sloth department?” They fought an impulse to immediately shred the form into tiny paper snowflakes. 

The intern finally located some of his spine and spoke up: “Yes, I’m… I just think it’s going in a very interesting direction and I, um, want to be a part of that. It’s not that I dislike your way of running things, no sir, I just--”

“Oh, shut up.” Beelzebub interrupted him. Then reached for a pen and signed the form in a quick, dejected motion. “This is all you’re getting from me so don’t ask for a recommendation.”

The intern sighed with so much relief that one would think he just dodged a death sentence. Beelzebub supposed they could have discorporated him for this insult, but they never cared much for violence in their office. They preferred their threatening aura to do the necessary work for them. As the intern left their office, bowing profusely and blubbering many thanks, Beelzebub didn’t bother with responding.

It has been only three months since Gabriel took over the Sloth department and he was already poaching interns from them. Beelzebub scowled as they reclined in their chair. They should have suspected that Gabriel’s capacity to be extremely annoying would translate well down below. Whatever he was doing in that office of his, it was working. For him. Not necessarily for them. 

It’s been a while since Beelzebub talked to him. Once they made sure he didn’t need any more babysitting, they were more than happy to return to their usual routine. Gabriel took to new office duties with ease, like a true being created to serve without questioning the orders. Beelzebub sometimes saw him make his way through the Hell’s corridors, still covered in tar stains, still looking thin and sleep-deprived. And they would always think about how he doesn’t stand out anymore, how he fits the dark walls around him. Until he inevitably smiled at the sight of them, lighting up the whole corridor. Then they remembered he was an Archangel half a year ago.

They should pay him a visit.

Dagon interrupted their thoughts by unceremoniously walking in without knocking. “I’ve got something for you.” 

“Can you believe?” Beelzebub ignored their non-greeting and waved their hand in a vague but angry gesture. “One of our interns just asked me to let him go so he can go join Gabriel’s department.” 

“He was an accountant, actually.” Dagon corrected them immediately. Beelzebub shrugged dismissively. That was an easy mistake to make. Hell was full of interns and accountants, as well as interning accountants. 

Dagon approached their desk: “This is from the top, boss.” She slid an envelope towards them. Beelzebub looked at her and then at the unassuming letter. What was Lucifer going to spring on them now? Without a word, they reached for it and ripped the envelope open with their teeth. Dagon didn’t even flinch. Beelzebub squinted their eyes at the memo that fell out of the shredded paper, hastily skimming the words. 

“Son of a bitch.” They commented.

“That bad?” Asked Dagon. 

Beelzebub groaned, ignoring Dagon’s question. She didn’t have the clearance to hear what they just read. “I have to go fetch Gabriel.” 

“That bad.” Dagon nodded to herself. 

“Even worse.” Beelzebub was already getting up and throwing their jacket on. “Hold the fort, clear the rest of my day.” 

“I’m not your secretary!” Dagon yelled after them as they stormed out of their office. Beelzebub just waved their hand. 

As they stalked through the hallways of Hell, they wondered if Lucifer has somehow read their mind. Or perhaps it was just in his nature to complicate things at the least fitting moment. Beelzebub glanced at the memo in their hands, confirming they had less than thirty minutes to grab Gabriel. They groaned with frustration after making sure nobody could see or hear them. 

Beelzebub basically kicked in the door to the Sloth department. Several things happened at once when they barged in. First, Gabriel’s awful bird opened its beak and started its ungodly screeching. Second, the accountant they saw just a couple of minutes ago yelped and dug under his chair. Third, Gabriel froze mid-signing, briefly turning into a very awkward and surprised statue. 

The former Archangel, now a Prince, pursed his lips at them, definitely not pleased with the loud interruption. He seemed to be in the middle of a presentation, judging by the whiteboard behind him and a marker stuck behind his ear. His audience consisted of four other demons, including the shaking accountant who just fled their office. His new coworkers stared at Prince of Gluttony with a careful apprehension. Beelzebub didn’t remember this office being so crowded the last time they were here. Absentmindedly, they glanced to the side to check if that napping demon was still there. He was, still blissfully snoring through their entrance. 

“A word with you.” Beelzebub announced the reason behind their arrival. And made sure to glare at the accountant who was still hiding underneath his chair. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and summoned one of his demons with a beckoning wave of his hand. The mousy-looking underling hopped off her chair with so much enthusiasm that Beelzebub suspected she was waiting for this moment her whole life. She quickly took over for Gabriel, grabbing another marker and pressing it to the whiteboard with a squeak. 

“I wanna hear some suggestions, everyone! Remember, there are no bad ideas!” She exclaimed as her coworkers wisely stopped paying attention to their higher-ups talking.

“What are you even doing?” Asked Beelzebub as Gabriel ushered them into his private office. 

“Brainstorming.” Gabriel explained casually. 

Beelzebub just blinked blankly at him as they sat behind his desk. They knew they didn’t have time to get comfortable but they also knew Gabriel. And they knew that getting him to leave his office once he learns what Lucifer had in store for him was going to take some effort. They might as well sit. Gabriel turned around to close the door behind them. His awful bird managed to sneak inside, mere seconds behind they clicked shut. The peacock squawked at them threateningly. Beelzebub scoffed at it in return.

“What did you want to talk about?” Gabriel asked, standing by his desk that was now taken over by them. Beelzebub simply passed the memo to him, much like Dagon did moments ago. 

Gabriel furrowed his brows as he accepted it. Beelzebub watched them drop lower and lower as their fellow Prince made his way through Lucifer’s words. They knew he wasn’t going to like them. 

He went completely still. Beelzebub knew he was done reading because his violet eyes were no longer jumping all over the paper. They were staring right through it, unfocused and startled. They looked at his hand holding the memo. His thumb was trembling. 

Beelzebub nodded at nothing in particular. Maybe at Lucifer’s cruelty, maybe at their own expectations. Maybe at Gabriel, with pity. 

“We have about fifteen minutes to get ready.” They buzzed quietly, summoning him back to reality. 

Gabriel twitched, looking at them as if he had forgotten they were right next to him. The surprise quickly wore off and a wave of defensive anger replaced it. He dropped the memo onto the desk and Beelzebub glanced at it, noting the fresh black stains on top of it. 

_Beelzebub,_ announced the document, _the Archangels have called for an impromptu meeting regarding some pressing matter they did not specify. You will take the Prince of Sloth and listen to whatever they have to say. Do not confirm or deny anything._

The ink from Gabriel’s fingers obscured the rest of the details such as time and the place, but Beelzebub had it memorized. Besides, all Heaven and Hell meetings took place in their respective conference rooms. But it wasn’t the hour or the room that Gabriel was about to question, they knew that. 

“I’m not going.” Gabriel signed, still staring at the piece of paper like he was talking to it directly. 

“You’re not going to disobey Lucifer.” Beelzebub shook their head. This wasn’t a suggestion. It wasn’t within the realms of possibility for either of them.

“Why does he even want me there?” Gabriel’s head snapped up, his hands moved loudly in a sudden rise of the tone. “I haven’t been here long enough to know anything about Hell’s diplom-” He abruptly paused fingerspelling, losing his spot in the middle of the word. Frustrated, he shook his head and started over: “-diplomacy.”

“You know why he wants you there.” Beelzebub knew they didn’t need to explain it but if addressing it was what Gabriel wanted, they could give it to him. Whatever got him to stop protesting and just get on with it. “He wants to rattle them. It’s not about you, it’s about them.” 

“Great!” Gabriel bit back immediately, his face overflowing with angry sarcasm. “I’m just a tool now.” 

“You’ve always been a tool.” Beelzebub rolled their eyes. “What do you want me to say? Sorry that your brother doesn’t care about your comfort? Is that what you want to hear, Gabriel? Did you forget where you are?”

In Hell, where everything sucks.

The other demon just shook his head and crossed his arms, indignantly glaring off to the side. The peacock was glancing at them both, bobbing its long neck between them with sudden interest. 

“Don’t huff at me. I’m just the messenger.” Beelzebub couldn’t help themselves. That comment earned them a distracted glare from Gabriel. Beelzebub shrugged again. They really wished Lucifer hadn’t sent them to deal with Gabriel’s histrionics. The former Archangel was extremely quick to cycle through various outbursts, a characteristic that didn’t play well with their own strategic disinterest. As Gabriel uncrossed his arms, Beelzebub knew he was past anger and was now entering the hesitation territory. Gabriel plucked the marker from behind his ear, set it down on the desk and signed them a quick question: 

“Who is coming?” 

“I have no idea. But if Lucifer is asking for the two of us, then it has to be at least two Archangels as well. You know how it is, the number has to be balanced.” 

As they were replying to him, Gabriel’s bird hopped onto the desk and immediately grabbed the marker, attempting to swallow it. Gabriel absentmindedly wrestled it out of its beak without even looking at the peacock, which told Beelzebub that sort of thing happened all the time. The bird glared at him for denying it its wish to choke on the marker and jumped off to look for something else to do. Gabriel set down the marker again.

“We kept it simple.” He signed slowly, keeping the gesture for the word “we” limited to the two of them, right here, right now. Beelzebub blinked. 

“We did.” They agreed after a pause. Previously, when Hell and Heaven met, it involved just two beings, Prince Beelzebub and Archangel Gabriel. But now there were more complications. Someone will have to sit at a different side of a table, someone will be replaced. 

Beelzebub briefly thought about those meetings from before his Fall. They thought about the clean Gabriel, the well-rested Gabriel, the Gabriel full of pride who mistook their insults for apparently very funny jokes and laughed for way too long. So much has changed but at the same time, nothing has. They and Gabriel got the job done back then. The two of them will get the job done now too. 

In the privacy of his own moment, Gabriel seemed to have reached the same kind of conclusion. He sighed soundlessly and threw his hands up with resignation.

“It was going to happen eventually.” He signed, his hands slowly spelled out his surrender.

“Probably.” Beelzebub shrugged. “Are you ready now?” 

Gabriel just raised his brows at them, challenging the logic behind their question. Of course, he wasn’t ready. Nothing could ever prepare him to face his siblings after what happened to him. What was done to him. 

Beelzebub still kept the notepad with Gabriel’s resentful scribbles about what went down before his Fall. It was in their desk, hidden in a locked drawer. Waiting for a triumphant moment during some kind of trial that will never come.

“Do you think they know?” Gabriel asked.

“About you being a Prince? If their agents are any good…”

“Not that.” He shook his head. “About my voice.” 

“Ah.” Beelzebub replied awkwardly. Gabriel continued to stare at them with an openness and vulnerability that was borderline offensive to them. Day after day, he continued to invite them to take advantage of everything that was happening inside of him and they just couldn’t. Because when Gabriel did that, it somehow felt like a display of strength, not weakness. They didn’t know how to challenge something they were invited to.

“I don’t know.” Beelzebub replied truthfully. 

The tar-covered bird returned to them, somehow sensing it was the time to leave. It pecked at Gabriel’s shoe with impatience. Its owner gently shoved it away with his foot, still chewing on his thoughts. Beelzebub watched him closely. Finally, Gabriel inhaled slowly, exhaled even slower and when he looked up, he suddenly had one of his trademark professional smiles on his face. Not a single hint of anger or hesitation, just a desire to be as amiable and helpful as possible.

“It’s so scary when you do that.” Beelzebub commented on his polite expression with a strange sense of awe. 

“I think it’s scary when you glare at me.” Gabriel shrugged, still keeping the serene smile plastered onto his face. 

“Satan, stop talking to me like we’re friends.” Beelzebub shoved themselves off Gabriel’s unnaturally comfortable office chair. Maybe they should come back when he’s sleeping and steal it from him. 

“Hold this for me.” Gabriel didn’t say what they both didn’t want to hear and handed them a file with some blank pages and a pen. 

“Want to look busy?” Beelzebub raised a brow, accepting it.

“No, I want to take notes.” Gabriel just smiled harder while his peacock honked loudly. “But I can’t talk while holding something, you know that.” 

“So you’re planning on talking.” 

Gabriel just shrugged in response, turning to open the door. Beelzebub dodged a peck from his stupid bird and followed him. The Prince of Sloth clapped loudly to get the attention of his underlings who were still absorbed by their whiteboard. They all whipped their heads around to look at their boss. Everyone except Beelzebub’s ex-accountant who was hiding somewhere else now. 

“I have to leave, important Prince business, carry on without me. Excellent work so far!” Gabriel signed quickly and gave his assistant two thumbs-up. The mousey demon nodded with pure reverence. 

“Yessir! Good luck!” She exclaimed. 

“Ugh.” Beelzebub made a disgusted sound. They pushed past him and exited his department before they could throw up from all the camaraderie. Gabriel half-jogged up to them, accompanied by his wretched bird.

No one was leading. They both knew the way to the conference room. 

“Where did you even get a whiteboard from?” Beelzebub was still thinking about what they witnessed in his office. 

“Miracled it.” Gabriel replied with a questioning look. “Obviously.” 

“You figured out how to do miracles?” Beelzebub blinked, hoping they didn’t sound too surprised. 

Gabriel furrowed his brows. “Is it hard or something?” 

“No, just…” They searched for words, glancing away. “...different for demons.” 

The Prince of Sloth just looked at them like they said something weird. “It feels the same.” 

Beelzebub didn’t comment. They didn’t expect Gabriel to work out on his own how to do miracles after his Fall. He probably didn’t even entertain the possibility of being denied something and just did it. Didn’t matter that celestial and infernal miracles had different sources. 

As they approached the conference room, Gabriel’s polite smile was fully back on his face, armed and ready. Two demon guards jumped up at the sight of two Princes arriving before them. 

“They’re inside already, Your Royal Highnesses.” One of the guards announced, his voice tense like a cord about to snap. 

Beelzebub nodded at the guards to dismiss them and turned to Gabriel. They were going to ask him if he was ready but they remembered there was no point in doing so. So instead, they snapped their fingers to get his attention and reminded him: “Don’t say anything Lucifer wouldn’t want you to say.” 

Gabriel chewed on their words for a second. “That’s horrible advice.” 

Beelzebub shrugged and pushed open the grand doors to the conference room with their shoulder. It was probably the best lit place in the entirety of Hell, excluding the Pit. An unnecessary amount of fluorescent lamps buzzed loudly, filling the room with harsh, uninviting light. The only other notable feature inside was a large table made out of an extinct kind of wood and a couple of uncomfortable chairs. Two of them were taken. 

The Archangels were sitting with their back to them which confirmed their celestial nature. Beelzebub never knew a demon that would willingly sit without facing the entrance. At the sound of them entering the room, they turned their heads around. 

To Michael’s credit, her nostrils didn’t even flare at the sight of Gabriel following them closely behind. All Beelzebub managed to catch was her eyes opening slightly wider. The other Archangel, the one with her face marked by gold, wasn’t nearly as professional. She stood up in shock, knocking her chair over. Beelzebub held back a loud sigh. 

Why did they always end up in the middle of the Archangel dramatics? 

“Sorry to have kept you waiting.” Beelzebub buzzed through their clenched teeth, finally glancing at Gabriel. His smile was still there but his gaze was flicking between the two of his sisters, torn between two different reactions. Resentment for one, worry for the other. Finally, he simply picked up the chair one of the Archangels tipped over and fixed it for her. Without a word, he moved to the other side of the table and sat down where Beelzebub usually did when it was just two of them, in a different world. 

Beelzebub rolled their eyes and sat next to him, sliding the file they held onto towards him. The shocked Archangel slowly took her seat too. Gabriel’s peacock stealthily hid underneath the table without a sound.

Silence. 

The two Archangels were staring at Gabriel, who was pointedly ignoring their gazes, apparently too busy with prefacing his notes with a date and a headline. Michael’s stare was blank but Beelzebub could sense angry disappointment behind it. They suddenly remembered the other Archangel’s name. Uriel was looking at Gabriel with complete pity in her eyes, as if she had no idea that the Fall was going to affect him so roughly, so severely. The silence was getting tenser. Beelzebub didn’t dare to try to speak first. It wasn’t their place to do so, that much was obvious from the way Gabriel loudly set down his pen, reclined and finally met the gaze of his siblings.  
Gabriel himself knew the best what he lost in the Fall, he had to be aware of the contrast between his current self and the Archangel he had been once. He was staring at his siblings expectantly, either waiting for an apology or for the meeting to start.

Beelzebub hoped it was the latter. 

“Yes, well.” Obviously it was Michael who broke the silence. Beelzebub wasn’t a fan of hers. Too tense, too attached to her glory days of the First War. “I understand our request to meet has caught you by surprise but we felt that we simply couldn’t wait any longer.” 

Gabriel was staring at Uriel now, his expectant eyes somewhat tempered by concerned gaze. Beelzebub shook their head, already fed up with the theatrics. If they were the only one here capable of being productive, then so be it. 

“We always have time for our favorite competition.” They responded dryly, matching Michael’s false pleasantries. “Your side mentioned something about a pressing issue?” 

“Yes.” Michael nodded, acting as if the brother she pushed off a rooftop wasn’t in the room with her. “I thought we could discuss the disarmament agreement.”

Gabriel stopped whatever wordless conversation he was having with Uriel and glanced at Beelzebub. They didn’t look at him. “A curious choice of a topic.” They commented, still staring at the general-like Archangel. 

Michael straightened in her seat even though her posture was already flawless. “If you recall, both sides agreed to start retiring troops and assimilating them back into the general workforce. I believe you were there when this agreement was formed and signed, Prince Beelzebub.” 

They were. But before they could confirm, Gabriel’s hands moved. “I was there too.” 

This time, Michael didn’t manage to hold back her confusion and lost her steely composure. Both she and Uriel stared at his signing hands with a gentle perplexion that turned into a chilling realization as they both drew their own conclusions. 

Gabriel wasn’t smiling anymore. 

“Gabriel-” Uriel started but a glance from Michael silenced her. Their brother was staring at them with exposed anger, cold but still burning. He was daring them both, but especially Michael, to face what they did to him. It was too much for Uriel who looked away, but her older sister didn’t. 

“Your voice.” Michael’s tone was hoarse. 

“Taken away.” Replied Gabriel. His hands moved slowly as if they were still underneath layers of tar.

“Makes sense.” Michael nodded, staring down. 

“It’s what everyone keeps telling me.” Gabriel signed even though she couldn’t see that. 

Beelzebub cleared their throat loudly, reminding the former and present Archangels about their existence. They had to get this meeting under control before tears or ripped out feathers fell. When they spoke again, Gabriel already had his professional smile back.

“Sorry to interrupt,” They started with enough bite in their words to let everyone around know that they weren’t sorry in the slightest to put a stop to this mess. “but you mentioned something about the disarmament?” 

“Yes.” Michael also cleared her throat. “Yes, disarmament.” 

They’ve never heard her so shaken up and from the way Gabriel reclined in his seat, it was something to be proud of. Beelzebub had no idea when he learned to weaponize his pain so well.

“We’d like to-” It was Uriel who spoke next, taking over for her sister. “We’d like to see some reports saying that you upheld your end of the agreement.”

Beelzebub crossed their arms, reclining just like Gabriel. “The meeting regarding the disarmament review was scheduled for the next year. What’s the hurry?” 

Perhaps it was the military context of their conversation that calmed Michael down because when she replied, she was a general again, not a sister. “We have some evidence that suggests you won’t be done dissolving Hell’s army by then. In fact, we don’t think you even began to do so.” 

Beelzebub inhaled slowly. So this was the part Lucifer didn’t want them to discuss. Don’t confirm or deny anything. Of course. 

They were his second-in-command but they didn’t commend the armies of Hell. Yes, they signed the disarmament agreement they worked out with then Archangel Gabriel but it wasn’t their responsibility to see it done. They assumed it would happen since Lucifer agreed to it but once again they were kept in the dark. 

Michael was looking at them with sharpness in her eyes, just waiting to catch a lie from their lips like a hawk. Beelzebub opened their mouth.

But it was Gabriel who moved faster. “Show us yours first.” 

“What?” Michael turned her head towards him, catching only the last bit of his sentence. 

“Show us your reports first.” Clarified Gabriel with a very polite look on his face. “You didn’t come here empty-handed, did you?”

Bastard, thought Beelzebub with an uncharacteristic amount of pride. And almost smirked. 

“I’m not here to compare and contrast-” Michael replied, stopping herself from saying her brother’s name.

“Michael,” Gabriel didn’t have the same reservations and fingerspelled her name with taunting ease. “you cannot expect Hell to reveal important documents just because you ask. It’s always been a favor for a favor, remember?” 

Beelzebub glanced at Uriel who met their gaze. The two of them quickly looked away, as if embarrassed by this moment of connection. Beelzebub shrugged their shoulders to shake off the awkwardness. 

“He’s right. If you want to see something, show us something first. Otherwise, see you in a year, as we scheduled.” Beelzebub buzzed, making sure to sound bored by their request. They didn’t like the fact that the Archangels mentioned something about evidence. But catching spies wasn’t their department either. 

Uriel and Michael exchanged a look. Michael’s head shook in the slightest of ways for just a second. 

“We _know_ Hell hasn't done anything to decrease its army.” Michael tried attacking head-on, turning to them again. 

“You don’t know anything, Michael.” Beelzebub retorted. “If you did, you wouldn’t have bothered with showing up and asking questions. Which was a bad move on your part because now we know you’re afraid of something.” 

Michael’s eyes suddenly brightened like two blazing coals as she looked at them. Beelzebub barely held back a flinch, for some reason remembering the violent flashes of light that accompanied smiting. It wasn’t Michael who sent them to Hell but at this very moment, it might as well had been her. Gabriel glanced at them with a hint of concern and stepped in immediately: 

“Hold on,” He held out a pacifying finger. “it doesn’t matter who knows what. You made a request we’re happy to listen to, as long as you return the favor.” 

“You don’t trust Heaven to hold its end of the agreement?” Michael turned her terrible gaze to Gabriel who did not react to it.

“Are you really asking me that question?” He raised his brows with disbelief when he pointed at himself. Michael’s stare was extinguished immediately.

“Gabriel, what happened was--” She began but stopped when Gabriel slowly held up his hand in a wordless interruption.

“You’re not here to apologize so just shut your mouth, Michael.” He signed with ruthless precision, leaving no room for misinterpretation. His chest was rising up and down but nobody could hear him breathing. 

Silence, again. 

Beelzebub finally woke up from the strange stupor Michael’s smiting glare put them in. They exhaled slowly, forcing themselves to stop thinking about the battlefields that didn’t matter anymore. Uriel was covering her mouth with a palm, not contributing again. Michael was wordlessly shaking her head, protesting something. Beelzebub didn’t know what she was protesting and they didn’t care to find out. They wanted out of this room.

Gabriel was still breathing hard and glaring at Michael, challenging her to prove him wrong.

“I don’t think we have anything to actually discuss.” Beelzebub buzzed loudly, not looking at anyone in particular.

“No, we don’t.” Michael got up with a loud squeak of her chair. The blooming shades of scarlet on her neck made Beelzebub think that nobody has ever told her to shut up. Gabriel crossed his arms, putting an unspoken full stop to his words. 

“I’d like to say this was a productive meeting but…” Beelzebub also stood up but with less urgency. Gabriel remained defiantly slumped in his chair. 

“Save it.” Michael smoothed down her suit even though it had no wrinkles on it. A gesture they saw Gabriel perform many, many times. “We will be back with the proper documentation.” 

“Drop by anytime you want.” Beelzebub shrugged. Michael glared at them and then at Gabriel who raised a hand in a gesture of goodbye. He looked like he had something bitter in his mouth that he refused to swallow. 

Michael’s lips parted slightly. The right words seemed to be within her grasp. But in the end, she did like a soldier and marched out of the room.

“I hate your family.” Beelzebub turned to the former Archangel, suddenly feeling very tired. Gabriel raised an unimpressed brow and gestured with his chin at Uriel who apparently didn’t leave with Michael. Beelzebub rolled their eyes, not caring that she overheard their admission. “What?” They barked at her. 

Uriel, like a true Archangel, didn’t pay any attention to them. She stood up slowly and dug into a pocket of her suit. Gabriel watched her cautiously. With just Uriel in the room, he was slowly looking more like the Gabriel that Beelzebub was used to. The Archangel pulled a pen-shaped object out of her pocket. Beelzebub squinted their eyes at it in confusion. Gabriel seemed to recognize it immediately because he sat up in his chair so quickly he almost tumbled out of it. Uriel placed it on the table in front of him. 

“I’m sorry.” She said. Beelzebub expected her voice to tremble, but it didn’t. It was heavy but steady. Like a stone. 

Gabriel gave her the first genuine smile since this meeting had begun. The peacock, which was unusually quiet during this meeting, suddenly hopped on the table and honked with interest at the strange pen. Uriel glanced at the bird and pressed her lips together, stopping whatever words she had left. 

“Thank you.” Gabriel touched his chin. She nodded. 

And left the room, quickly following after Michael. 

“What is that?” Beelzebub asked, watching Gabriel pocket the strange gift before his peacock could snag it. 

“My vape pen.” He explained which didn’t clear up anything for them. This was apparent because he quickly resorted to a demonstration, pulling it out again and putting it into his mouth. A hissing inhale followed and soon he was puffing out a cloud of sweetly scented smoke. The peacock squawked and flapped its wings to disperse it.

Beelzebub wanted to ask him since when did he indulge in a sinful human activity like this but decided they had enough of his mess for today. They could already feel hints of migraine forming in their temples. 

“Whatever.” They stuck their hands in the pockets of their pants, looking at the open doors. “You’re going to write a report about this meeting and give it to Lucifer.”

Gabriel winced but didn’t protest. He seemed oddly uplifted after getting his toy back. Holding it between his teeth, he signed: “It wasn’t so bad.” 

“For you, maybe. You got to tell Archangel Michael to zip it.” 

Gabriel grinned. But then something else entered his mind and he was suddenly frowning around his vape pen. “Was it true? That thing about Hell’s army still ready to fight?” 

Beelzebub exhaled through their nose. “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Lucifer about this.” 

The former Archangel frowned even harder at that. They both knew how hard it was to get an answer from the King of Hell. 

“I shouldn’t be telling you this but --” Gabriel paused to tuck away his vape pen, hiding it from his bird that found a brand new object of hate in it. The peacock jumped into his lap, pecking at it through the fabric of his pants. He ignored it. “-- while I was still up there, we hadn’t begun disarming our army either. We were waiting for the chaos to die down a little bit.” 

Beelzebub turned their head to look at him sharply. Gabriel blinked at them, clearly unaware of the weight his little tip carried. 

“I don’t like this.” Beelzebub buzzed slowly. 

Something was up. 

“Maybe they started disarming after they got rid of me.” Gabriel signed with a hint of bitterness in his expression 

“I don’t think so. You saw Michael today. She has no idea what she’s doing.” Beelzebub replied and rolled their eyes when Gabriel’s face suddenly lit up with a pleased smile. “I didn’t mean that as a compliment for you, idiot.”

He shrugged his stupidly broad shoulders. “Well, I would have known how to get information out of you.”

“Yes, they sacked the wrong Archangel, whatever.” Beelzebub gave him the victory he was looking for while waving their hand dismissively. Apparently, it was enough for Gabriel because he shoved the peacock off his lap and got up with a self-congratulatory smirk. 

“Do you want a copy of the report?” He asked. 

They nodded. “Don’t skimp on drama, you know that’s what Lucifer wants to read the most.” 

At their words, Gabriel squinted one eye with a weird mixture of reluctance and distaste. He brushed past them but suddenly stopped before he could walk out of the room. Turning around, he signed quickly to them: “We handled this well.” 

Beelzebub blinked, crossing the arms on their chest. “Yes. I suppose we did.” 

Gabriel lifted one of his hands like he was about to start signing again but changed his mind. Instead, he just smiled professionally again and left. His horrible bird squawked at Beelzebub and sprinted after him. 

They stared at the empty door frame. Beelzebub missed the problems they had before this meeting. They’d take a hundred of resigning accountants over whatever was happening now. They absentmindedly wet their lips, trying to pinpoint the feeling that was taking hold of them. 

Unease, they realized. 

Their gaze dropped to the file Gabriel forgot to take with him. Something was coming. But unlike the Apocalypse which was a well-detailed plan everybody knew about, this threat didn’t even have a name.

Beelzebub didn’t like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh, the PLOT is back. 
> 
> originally, i planned for a different kind of direction with gabriel in this chapter. he was going to be sad and miserable but as i started writing the scene, it turned into this direct confrontation and i really liked it tbh. he's not over his fall and he never will be, but he's not going to be silent about it as he had been in previous chapters. dare i say, character development ??
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER: the girls (as in gabriel and beelzebub) go shopping !!!


	9. fashion victim or ensembly challenged? pt 1

Gabriel was dreaming about nothing in particular when a gentle shake to his shoulder woke him up. He blinked sluggishly and raised his head, only partially aware of the small puddle of drool he left on his desk. Out of the sleepy fog emerged his office and his very excited assistant. 

“Sorry, sir, you told me to wake you up in an hour.” Gemma apologized sheepishly. She sounded genuinely upset to interrupt his nap. Gabriel sat up properly and blinked some more in a futile attempt to speed up the process of waking up. The constant drowsiness that came with the Fall turned out to be yet another permanent situation for him. He yawned into his fist, nodding absentmindedly. At least it fit the title of the Prince of Sloth. 

A position that was becoming more and more comfortable as time went on. Gabriel tried to not think too much about it. He was good at that, not thinking. 

Gemma placed a stack of papers on his desk, masterfully avoiding the drool puddle. “I finished the quarterly review, the numbers are up again!” His assistant announced with barely restrained giddiness. “Sir, I think we can actually compete with other departments now.” 

Even though his mind was still asleep and couldn’t fully take in all the words that were being said, Gabriel smiled anyways. It was his automatic response to happy tones. The other demon took a deep elated breath and smiled back. 

“I’ll read these later.” Gabriel finally reached a level of awareness that allowed him to actually respond. “I have something to take care of on Earth.” He paused to look at the watch on his wrist. It got cracked during his Fall but was still working, somehow. 1 PM, perfect timing. “And I have to leave now.” 

“Oh! Of course!” Gemma nodded, her short hair bobbed wildly. “Good luck with your, um, mission!” 

It wasn’t really a mission but Gabriel didn’t correct her. Just smiled again and nodded, sending Gemma on her way. She gave him an awkward wave and left his office. Gabriel wiped his desk with a sleeve and got up. For some reason, the room was unusually quiet. Gabriel couldn’t hear any angry honking or squawking. A careful glance confirmed his hopeful suspicion. His peacock was sleeping while perched on top of a file cabinet.

Well, that was his chance to leave without a fuss. Gabriel quietly snuck towards the door, catching a glimpse of himself in a standing mirror he miracled himself a week ago, right after the meeting with Michael and Uriel. His face stared back at him and he saw the usual. Dark circles under eyes, stained fingers, strands of hair covered in ink. Gabriel slicked them back, frowning. Pinching at the loose layers of his shirt, he grimaced even harder. He really should have gone to Earth months ago. Gabriel couldn’t believe he let Michael see him like this. 

He looked unkempt. Dirty. And maybe there was nothing he could do about the omnipresent tar but there was something he could do about his lost suit jacket. He smoothed out the wrinkles on his white shirt and left his office as quietly as he could. Walking past Gemma’s desk, he shot her a quick smile and a thumbs up. She grinned right back and immediately returned to her paperwork. 

Gabriel stepped out to the hallways of Hell. He slicked back his hair again after a drop of water hit the top of his head. Paying no attention to the dripping pipes, he started walking into a very familiar direction. He has spent half a year in Hell now but there were still things he didn’t know. Fortunately, he had Beelzebub for that.

He passed two demons talking to each other in front of an empty bulletin board. They both stopped their conversation and stared at him. One of them bowed their head before the Prince. 

Gabriel smiled pleasantly. And ignored the hungry swell in his chest. 

Agitated buzzing guided his next steps. He followed what sounded like a whole swarm of unimpressed flies through the damp labyrinth and saw Beelzebub leaning against the wall. They were listening to a demon much taller than them but judging by their rolling eyes, they didn’t care much for his words. Gabriel felt his face light up as he recognized who was talking to them. He quickened his pace, almost jogging up to the pair. Beelzebub noticed him first and immediately straightened up, staring at him with relief. Asmodeus paused what he was saying and matched Gabriel’s smile with the same amount of brightness but much more teeth. 

Gabriel liked the Prince of Lust. Beelzebub did their best to warn Gabriel about him, but honestly, he didn’t see the reason why they would do that in the first place. Asmodeus was nothing but accommodating and polite whenever he talked to him. He personally welcomed Gabriel onto the Dark Council and didn’t seem envious of his sudden promotion at all. 

“Ah, there he is.” Beelzebub beckoned him closer with a strangely insistent wave of a hand. Gabriel frowned with confusion. They seemed to have been expecting him which was strange, he definitely didn’t tell them he’d be dropping by. 

“Gabriel. Always in a rush, hm?” Asmodeus offered him his hand which Gabriel shook gingerly. The Prince of Lust was exactly the same height as he was, his corporation was well-built and dressed in one of the best suits Gabriel has ever seen. Its dark-green satin masterfully complimented Asmodeus’ strong features and healthy, tanned complexion. Beelzebub told him once that Asmodeus always looks different to everyone who interacts with him, mentioning something about personal tastes and preferences. Which Gabriel found strange but it wasn’t his place to comment.

Beelzebub scoffed, sending a glare somewhere around Asmodeus’ chest. The Prince of Lust they were looking at was evidently much shorter than Gabriel’s version. Distractedly, he thought that had to be confusing for Asmodeus. Being perceived differently by everyone he talked to and not having one stable version of own body. Gabriel would get confused. But if that bothered Asmodeus, he never showed it. 

Asmodeus’ lips stretched even further in a wide smile that Gabriel could not look away from. He was almost sorry he had to stop the handshake to properly greet them both. 

“Hi--.” Gabriel waved, greeting them both. But he did not get to continue because Beelzebub grabbed his other arm, attaching themselves to it like a very impatient leech. 

“Well, I’d love to stay and listen, Asmodeus, but my scheduled meeting is here.” Beelzebub apologized in an overly sweet way. Gabriel gave them a puzzled look but they ignored it effortlessly. Beelzebub started to physically drag him away from their fellow Prince. 

“Of course.” Said Asmodeus, also with a lot of exaggeration. “I will simply try reaching you later, Beelzebub.” 

“It’s a long meeting.” Beelzebub grumbled out, dropping the pleasant tone. They were still leading Gabriel like a very pushy dog on a leash and all he could do was turn around and wave goodbye to Asmodeus. Beelzebub yanked him harder and the Prince of Lust disappeared behind the corner. 

“I’m very patient, Beelzy.” Asmodeus’ sing-songy tone bid them farewell which only deepened Beelzebub’s scowl. 

Gabriel wrestled his arm out of their hold and frowned at them. Beelzebub rolled their eyes in response. “Keep walking.” They barked. He let them lead him through two more corridors before stopping them by placing a hand on their shoulder. 

“We don’t have a meeting scheduled.” He signed quickly. Or did they? Gabriel furrowed his brows, trying to remember. 

“We don’t. I’m just trying to get away from Asmodeus. They’ve been pestering me about some stupid project of theirs.” 

Oh, thought Gabriel. His expression cleared up immediately. “I was looking for you though.” 

Beelzebub held up a finger to stop him from saying more and looked around. The hallway they were in seemed empty, not a demon in sight. Once they were satisfied with their privacy, they motioned at him with their chin: “Why? Did you squeeze something else out of Lucifer?” 

Gabriel shook his head. “No. Depends. I have a question.” 

“Of course you do.” Beelzebub replied in a very underwhelmed tone. He might as well have stopped them to tell them that grass is green. Gabriel was used to that sentiment from them, it didn’t mean much to him after all this time. “What is it?” 

“I’m planning on going to Earth, do I have to tell Lucifer?” Gabriel asked and felt his mouth twist into a wince. He’d rather avoid his brother if he could. All of their conversations felt strange to him. Unreal in a way that put him on edge and he couldn’t really explain why. Lucifer was always so glad to see him, so eager to pay attention to him and only him. Normally Gabriel would love that kind of treatment, but when it came from the King of Hell, it made his skin crawl. Lucifer acted like they were still in the past, ignoring the damp walls around and above them. But Gabriel couldn’t do that.

Not to mention, the Heaven created by Lucifer was never as bright and as chipper as his lies about it. Or maybe it was his idea of a joke. Gabriel could never tell whether Lucifer was mocking him with his tender tones or looking for something he thought he’d never have again.

Gabriel just didn’t know where to stand with him. 

“You mean, ask him for permission to go to Earth?” Beelzebub’s question dragged his attention back to the present. “You’re a Prince, you can go wherever, whenever you want. As long as you come back.”

Gabriel pursed lips. “Upstairs I had to submit a form every time I went to Earth, telling them where I was going and for what.” 

Beelzebub cocked a brow. “Sounds like a Heaven problem to me. Wait, hold on, they read your forms saying ‘popping out for a quick jog in London, don’t mind me’ and let you?” 

Gabriel tried his best to keep a neutral expression. All his existence, he was locked in a losing battle with his face reacting before his thoughts did and today was no different. He wasn’t able to stop a flustered glance to the side and Beelzebub immediately zeroed in on it. They cackled, obviously recognizing his guilty expression. “Out with it, what did you do?” 

He exhaled hard enough to make the hair strands hanging over his forehead jump up and down. Closing his eyes, unable to look at the words his hands were signing, he replied: “I’d just say I’m visiting the Traitor for an inspection… And-- do my own thing.”

Beelzebub clapped hands with genuine joy he rarely got to witness. “Oh, that’s good. That’s really good.” 

Gabriel opened his eyes, very eager to explain himself. “It wasn’t a lie! I was inspecting his surroundings, making sure he was doing his job.” 

“Oh yes, I’m sure that park you jogged in had to be inspected thoroughly. Every week.” Beelzebub was still grinning with triumph and he shook his head chase off their accusations. 

“Whatever.” He waved his hands in front of his chest in a dismissive way. “I’m going to Earth.” 

“Hold on, I’m coming with.” Beelzebub stopped their taunting and stepped closer to him. Gabriel squinted his eyes at them. 

“Why?” 

“Asmodeus.” They reminded him. “They won’t think to look for me on Earth.”

Gabriel was certain they had to have a more serious reason than that but then again, they could be doing this out of pettiness. He wouldn’t put it past them. Pressing lips together, he considered whether he actually wanted them to tag along and after two seconds he announced his decision with a shrug.

“Sure.” And before Beelzebub could respond, the dark walls of Hell were suddenly replaced by a street in London as he miracled himself to his favorite place on Earth. 

Gabriel would never say it but he definitely thought that Savile Row was better than the Garden of Eden. In his mind, there was no competition. Eden was just a bunch of plants and some weird metaphors about free will, nothing actually interesting. Meanwhile, Savile Row was full of exclusive bespoke tailoring shops for gentlemen, some of which have been in the business for centuries. 

He popped into existence right in front of his favorite shop, S. Aberworth & Sons. Some human lady almost bumped into him and opened her mouth to scold him but Gabriel just smiled at her. Her angry expression slowly melted away and mirrored his expression with only a hint of hesitation. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” She apologized and brushed past him. 

Gabriel continued to smile. Humans were so simple. They’d rather invent a mistake of their own than accept that something strange has happened right in front of them. 

He looked back at the store and barely stopped himself from clasping his hands in pure reverence. It was still open, still so inviting with its wooden front store and golden window frames. And that wonderful signboard, ‘Est. 1887’. Gabriel remembered only two human years in existence. The year of Annunciation and the year 1887. 

“That’s it? That’s why you’re here?” Beelzebub was suddenly by his side, giving his favorite store a very unimpressed stare. 

Gabriel nodded, too overtaken with emotion to even react to their disdain. “I’m so glad it’s still here. Did you know they opened this in 1887?” 

Beelzebub was looking directly at the signboard. “Wouldn’t have guessed.” They glanced at him and then at the pair of sharply dressed suit forms displayed in the store window. “Why not just miracle yourself one?” 

Gabriel furiously shook his head at their blasphemy and launched into a flurry of rapid signs. “It’s not the same. It has to be made. With real fabric and by human hands. Then it feels just like a second set of skin around your corporation, it’s amazing.” 

“Mhm.” Beelzebub commented in a way that suggested they weren’t really convinced and filed this as just another weird Gabriel thing. 

“What would you know, you dress like a child soldier that died in a Prussian war.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. 

“I’m impressed you know what Prussia is.” 

“I don’t, I just recognize the uniform.”

Beelzebub stared at him for a long while, clearly fighting some kind of reaction to his words. The corners of their mouth jumped up but before the rest of their expression could unfurl before his eyes, they were walking up to the store and pushing the ornate wooden door open. Gabriel rushed after them, ready to stop them before they say something rude to the management.

“Sorry, can I help--” A very concerned human stepped out from behind the register to watch both of them burst into his shop. Gabriel grinned eagerly at him, recognizing his favorite tailor, Kevin. Kevin was a broad man with an extremely well-groomed beard. So well-groomed that it inspired Gabriel to try out one of those on himself, but that didn’t go over well. Maybe beards worked only for humans. 

Kevin recognized him as well because he stopped in his tracks and just stared at him with a mixture of shock and worry. “--Mr. Archangel, sir?” 

Beelzebub raised a brow, ignoring the human in front of them to touch some ties with their grimy hands. “You told them your last name is Archangel?”

“I was still in Heaven back then.” Gabriel signed quickly, which only perplexed Kevin even more. But since he was in the business of making clothes for rich and strange people, he remained composed. A quality Gabriel really liked because it made dealing with humans less annoying. He approached the tailor and resolutely offered him his hand. Kevin accepted the greeting like a true professional but didn’t shake Gabriel’s hand for long, concerned about keeping a distance that was somewhat too respectful.

“I’m here to order a suit.” Gabriel clarified, guessing that his sudden entrance might have been the reason behind the surprise on the tailor’s face. Kevin just opened his mouth slightly and looked over his shoulder, addressing Beelzebub instead of him: 

“Sorry, sir, um, ma’am, are you- are you his interpreter?” He asked, clearly trying to find the right protocol on how to deal with situations like these but failing. “Can you, tell Mr. Archangel that I don’t know sign language? And that I’m very sorry.”

Beelzebub let out a cruel snort. And shook their head, ignoring Kevin’s confused but pleading gaze. “What now, genius?” They asked Gabriel directly. “I told you not all of them can understand it.” 

If they were looking for a victory, Gabriel was going to disappoint them because he came prepared. He held up a finger and fished out a phone he miracled himself not too long ago. Hell didn’t seem very technologically forward but that didn’t mean he should be using pneumatic tubes like Beelzebub and the rest. It was the same kind of touchscreen phone he used back in Heaven, just without the holy sigil on its back. Beelzebub squinted their eyes and approached him. They watched Gabriel type out a message for a long awkward while and hold up the phone to Kevin’s eyes. Evidently too close to his face because the tailor had to take a polite step back. 

“An… accident?” Kevin read the quick explanation and glanced back at Gabriel, still puzzled. 

Gabriel nodded and erased the note he just wrote, replacing it with more detail. Kevin looked at the screen again: “You… lost your voice after falling off a roof, sir?” 

Beelzebub made a weird amused noise and walked away to touch some more expensive, silky fabric. Gabriel nodded his head again at the tailor, forgetting to stop smiling. Kevin blinked. “I’m… very sorry to hear this, sir.”

It was nice to hear someone express some regret over what had happened to him but it didn’t mean much from a human. Gabriel just waved his hand impatiently and typed out a much more important question, holding it up to Kevin’s eyes. 

“A new suit. Yes, of course, sir. But you will need to make a reservation, just like all those other times.” Kevin was back to sounding very patient, just like the old times. Gabriel pointed at the book on the counter. Kevin glanced at it, then at him. He walked towards it and as he did so, Gabriel knew that he was going to see in it exactly what he needed to. 

“Oh. I’m so sorry, we did have a meeting scheduled! For… today.” The tailor bit on his bottom lip and closed the book, trying his best to act natural. “And you’re as always, punctual. My apologies, sir.”

Gabriel just beamed at him in response. Beelzebub made another weird amused noise, clearly making fun of his choices for miracles. Kevin clapped his hands, slipping back into the business mode.

“Let’s… get right to it, shall we? Do you have a specific cloth in mind?” He was already opening a drawer and pulling out tiny booklets with pieces of fabric instead of pages. 

Gabriel always picked the same color. Light gray. It didn’t stand out in Heaven which was important to him since his wings were already too flashy for that place. But the colorful feathers were gone now and so was the necessity to hold onto the pale shade of fabric. He quietly browsed through the cloth samples, making sure to feel the texture of each one of them.

Beelzebub approached him with hands in their pockets. “Riveting.” They commented on his procedure which he did not hear because he was too focused. Kevin glanced at them and then at him, clearly trying to guess who they were to each other. Gabriel suddenly paused and tapped a specific type of cloth. It was the same material he always went for but considerably darker. Not black yet. Just darker. 

“Of course. Excellent choice.” Kevin scribbled down the number of the cloth on his notepad. He didn’t comment on Gabriel’s decision to pick something darker than what he usually wore. “We will have to take your measurements again.” His tailor put away the notepad, discreetly glancing at Gabriel’s much thinner build. But again, he didn’t say anything. This was a professional establishment after all.

“Oh, I’m leaving. I’m not about to watch you undress.” Beelzebub shook their head. 

“You don’t undress for that.” Gabriel turned to them with a grimace. “They take it over your clothes.” 

“Whatever. I’m already bored. Find me when you’re done.” 

“Where are you going?” He asked, confused.

“I’m going to find the fanciest restaurant around and make them prepare me the grossest thing I can think of.” They explained flatly. 

Gabriel blinked at them. Kevin did the same. Beelzebub didn’t wait for either of them to say something about their completely natural course of action, they simply turned around and walked outside. They had enough common sense to at least disappear from their vision before transporting someplace else. Kevin cleared his throat and Gabriel snapped out of his thoughts, smiling eagerly. 

“Please fill out the preference form while I prepare the fitting room, sir.” The tailor handed him a clipboard and a pen. Gabriel accepted it with enthusiasm. Last time he had a new suit made was just three weeks before his Fall, as a sort of reward for having to deal with the canceled Apocalypse. 

He liked the ritual part of the whole process. Having every step detailed and followed through with utmost care. He liked that he could choose the cloth, the cut, the length, the number of pockets or buttons. Just being able to have a preference which was rare in Heaven. He liked having his body be the center of attention that felt both luxurious and methodical at the same time. As Kevin pressed the measuring tape against various points on his body, Gabriel could feel his fingers dig into the now thin layer of flesh that protected jutting out bones. The numbers called out by the tailor to an assistant who was summoned back from his lunch break felt smaller. Diminished. Gabriel didn’t like that. But he liked that in four weeks he would get a brand new suit, crafted just for him, nobody else.

And while he was in the store, he picked out several ties and white shirts to go with the upcoming masterpiece. The communication barrier between him and Kevin felt awkward but it had been there before. Humans liked to talk about things he never bothered to learn and they also tended to have a very limiting understanding of things celestial or infernal. This was for their own good but it also led to a lot of miscommunications. In a way, being able to just point at an item he wanted and nod was much more efficient. But it wasn’t very pleasant. Maybe Gabriel didn’t understand the small human things but he still liked hearing about them. Humans always talked about their existence in such a colorful way.

As Kevin was ringing up his total which turned out to be a lot of numbers, Gabriel discreetly miracled the piece of plastic which at some point in human history replaced the coins and flimsy papers.

“We will see you in four weeks for the first fitting.” Kevin penciled him in and gave him an unsure smile. “And sir, I hope your recovery goes well. Again, I’m very sorry to hear about your accident.” 

Gabriel didn’t say anything, he had his hands full of paper bags stuffed to the brim with ties, shirts and a couple of cufflinks. He just matched the tailor’s smile and nodded his head in a gesture of farewell. 

Recovery. That wasn’t a word he enjoyed hearing. Gabriel walked outside on autopilot, letting a wave of humans walking to their human jobs and human homes sweep him up with their busy momentum. There was no recovery for him. His situation wasn’t going to get better. Mother still hasn’t come back. And even if She did, who is to say She would help him now? Maybe She would believe Heaven over his words. Maybe Metatron, Her preferred voice, will pull her aside and explain to her why Gabriel had to Fall. And maybe She will nod at him. 

He stopped walking, someone bumped into him and called him a knobhead as they walked past him. No, this wasn’t right. He’s not doing anything wrong, he’s just surviving. 

Gabriel inhaled sharply and turned onto another, less busy street. He found a quiet spot where no humans would trample him and paused, waiting for that strange feeling in his stomach to pass. This wasn’t a good topic to think about. He could deal with that by jumping back to work. But for some reason, returning to Hell in this state didn’t feel right. Gabriel remembered he was supposed to join Beelzebub after he was done with the measurements. A relieved breath was punched out of him. Talking to them was an even better distraction than going through paperwork. 

He didn’t bother looking around before choosing to disappear and reappear next to Beelzebub, wherever they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, i wrote this as one long chapter which ive split into two for a better reading experience, more notes in the next chapter!!!
> 
> but i will say i watched a whole ass documentary about savile row, thats how dedicated i am to my CRAFT, my ART.


	10. fashion victim or ensembly challenged? pt 2

Gabriel popped back into reality right next to Beelzebub who was sitting in a very extravagant restaurant full of crystal chandeliers. He looked around curiously as they shot him an unimpressed glare. The other tables were completely empty which meant he didn’t have to worry about shocking humans with his sudden arrival. Gabriel carefully sat down at the expensive chair Beelzebub left free for him and sent away the shopping bags to his office in Hell with a wave of his hand. Then he furrowed his brows at the overwhelming variety of plates and bowls before Beelzebub, some full and some already empty.

“Finally. What took you so long?” Beelzebub asked and shoveled a triangular slice of some human food into their mouth. Gabriel winced at the sight. 

“Gross.” He commented with a deep grimace. 

“Shove it.” Beelzebub replied with their mouth full, definitely looking like the Prince of Gluttony at this moment. Gabriel looked at the meals they’ve ordered and already devoured. They all seemed disgusting to him but to be fair, he’d say this about every human dish in existence. He shuddered at the sight of Beelzebub swallowing loudly and tried his best to stop imagining the chunks of mashed up matter getting squeezed down their throat.

“Gross.” He repeated before fishing out his vape pen and sticking it into his mouth for a calming inhale of smoke. His stomach was no longer sending dizzying waves to the rest of his corporation.

Beelzebub shrugged, clearly not interested in his opinion. A waitress approached their table with an alarm. 

“Sir, you cannot smoke-- vape in here.” She protested. 

Gabriel just raised corners of his mouths at her, forcing a calming smile. She went still and slowly mirrored his expression. 

“But um, I think it will be fine just this one time.” The waitress bowed her head. “Can I take your order?”

He shook his head, sending the poor human on her way. Beelzebub snorted, slurping up some weird green fluid directly from a bowl. Setting it down, they reclined in their seat and wiped their mouth with the side of their palm. “I thought you were going to have the new suit on.” 

“It takes at least four weeks for the first version of it.” He explained. 

“Hm. Didn’t know you could wait for this long.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He signed quickly, holding the vape pen between his teeth. 

“Means you’re impatient.” Beelzebub stated in a very factual way. So factual that Gabriel forgot to protest. Beelzebub grabbed a fork and started to rake through a pile of mashed food on another plate. Not eating, just destroying it while deep in thought. Gabriel rarely saw them this contemplative. He could sense a question coming so he got comfortable on his velvet-covered seat and waited for it.

Finally, Beelzebub asked him: “Are you sure Lucifer hasn’t said anything important when you gave him that report?” 

He cocked a brow. “The report about the meeting with Michael and Uriel?” 

“Yes.” They looked up from their messed up plate to glare at him impatiently. “What else could I be asking about?” 

“I write a lot of reports.” Gabriel defended himself. Then he stared at the ceiling with concentration, trying to recall everything Lucifer told him a week ago. “We only talked about Michael. It was really weird, he made me repeat every single thing I said to her.” 

Beelzebub dropped the fork with a frustrated noise. Gabriel glanced at them, almost feeling concern. Beelzebub didn’t revisit topics often and they rarely showed signs of being worried about something. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, furrowing brows. 

“I don’t know. And that’s the problem.” They grumbled, putting their elbow on the table and supporting their head on their fist. With their hunched posture and smushed cheek, they resembled a very moody child. “I think something big is coming and I have no idea what.” 

He didn’t know what they meant. Gabriel brought his palms together and splayed them out in a simple request for further clarification. Beelzebub exhaled heavily. 

“Like Armageddon.” They were jabbing their shapeless mass of food with a fork again. 

“But the Great Plan didn’t mention a second Apocalypse.” He signed, still confused. Come to think of it, maybe it wasn’t so Great if it didn’t include a contingency plan. Gabriel thought all plans should have them but he never voiced that idea back in Heaven. He somehow felt more inclined to do it now.

“It’s not the Great Plan. I think it’s just Lucifer this time.” Beelzebub replied. Gabriel blinked which was his version of a surprised noise. The Prince of Gluttony noticed that and sat up in their chair properly, suddenly very energized. “Think about it. He still hasn’t begun disarming Hell. He’s avoiding his duties and staying in that throne room all the time. He’s not telling us anything. He _has_ to be plotting something.” 

Gabriel briefly thought about the days before the First War, when he barely saw his brother and when he did, all he got from him was a quick reassurance that everything was alright. He still felt guilty for blindly accepting Lucifer’s smiles back then.

“He keeps saying that we’ll find out everything in due time… but today I saw a legion of soldiers walk past my office and I am certain some of those demons were still interns yesterday.” Beelzebub continued, consumed by the theory they were spinning. 

“So he’s adding troops to Hell’s army?” Gabriel wanted to make sure he understood their concerns as well as he could. They were right, this was weird. “But that’s the opposite of disarming.”

Beelzebub rolled eyes very quickly, too focused on explaining their concerns to make fun of him. “Yes, the opposite of that. I think he’s preparing for war.” 

“But that goes against the Great Plan, there can’t be a war without the Apocalypse.” Gabriel protested, still not convinced. 

“The Great Plan was a bust, do I really need to remind you that? You were there, Gabriel. When that failure of an Antichrist and the Traitors ruined all of our hard work and centuries of preparations.” Beelzebub’s gaze was drilling very annoyed holes into him. Gabriel sighed without a sound. Yes, he definitely was there to witness everything fall apart. Beelzebub continued with a more serious tone: “You know Lucifer, maybe better than I do. If he wants something, he finds a way to make it happen.” 

He couldn’t argue with that. His brother went against his own Creator to get the freedom and kingdom he felt he deserved. It would be almost impressive if it wasn’t utterly heartbreaking for everyone involved. 

Gabriel nodded absentmindedly. Beelzebub watched his distracted agreement and spoke again, still very serious: “We need to be on the lookout. If you see anything strange, anything out of place, you have to tell me.” 

“What, why?” He asked, slightly taken aback. “Are you planning to stop him?”

“I just want to know as much as I can. So we can prepare.” 

Gabriel felt now was the ideal time to take a deep drag from his vape pen. He had a lot of questions in his head, questions about the possible war or questions about the fact that Beelzebub used the word ‘we’. He puffed out a cloud of sweet smoke, watching it slowly disappear. The other demon was still cautiously watching him, waiting for an answer. Gabriel glanced at them through the thin veil of smoke. He shrugged and nodded. There was no harm in keeping each other informed, he supposed. Beelzebub nodded back at him, looking slightly less tense. 

Something occurred to him. Setting the vape pen down on the table, he raised his hands to sign. “Michael said she would be back with the proper reports but it’s been a week now.” 

Beelzebub pressed their lips into a thin line. “Which isn’t like her?” 

“No. She wouldn’t have waited this long, she’d prepare the right documentation right away.”

“If it existed.” Beelzebub seamlessly finished his thought and he nodded at them, impressed with how smart they were. But before he could say that about them, Beelzebub asked: “What are the chances of Archangels forging fake documents? Do you think Michael could bring a report lying about the disarmament?”

Gabriel violently shook his head. “Angels don’t lie and neither do Archangels. It’s what separates us.” 

“Separates us and them.” Beelzebub corrected him but he just waved his hand dismissively. “Well. This means they haven’t started disarming either. They can probably tell that Lucifer is planning something too.” 

Gabriel pictured Michael in her office, staring at scattered papers and trying to guess what was her most hated opponent planning. He could see her forehead marked by deep lines and focused gaze. When it came to Lucifer, she only had one wish. To finish the job. 

“Gabriel.” Beelzebub only used his name when they wanted to make sure he was listening. He met their gaze to let them know he was. “Keep this between us. Don’t tell Lucifer what you just told me.” 

Gabriel didn’t question the concept of holding back information from Lucifer at their request. He only questioned the reason: “Okay. Why?”

“It’s sometimes better to wait with that sort of information. For the right moment.” They explained, staring at the pile of food before them. Gabriel squinted his eyes but nodded. He wasn’t going to run out and have a chat with Lucifer anyways. Talking to him felt too much like staring at an open wound.

Satisfied with their discussion, Beelzebub returned to shoveling food into their mouth and Gabriel summoned back his disgusted grimace. He wasn’t an expert but he was certain food was supposed to be consumed warm and all of those meals looked rather cold. 

“I don’t know how you can do this.” He commented. Beelzebub raised their head, unable to catch all of his signs in time. But instead of asking for clarification, they just froze, staring at something behind him. 

“What?” He shook his hands with a questioning frown. 

Beelzebub wiped their mouth very slowly. “We should go. Don’t look behind you.” 

Gabriel immediately whipped his head around to see the Traitors sitting by the table behind him. Aziraphale also had his neck twisted at a strange angle to be able to see their table behind his back. They stared at each other in a very angelic expression of a polite surprise. For some reason, Beelzebub and Crowley both groaned at the same time. 

Last time he saw Aziraphale, he was breathing Hellfire while standing in a pillar of it. Gabriel belatedly realized that this would have been a very useful trick to know all those months ago when he Fell. But there was no point in asking that question now. Gabriel blinked slowly at Aziraphale who was already turning his seat around to properly face both him and Beelzebub. Crowley groaned again. Gabriel glanced at him over Aziraphale’s shoulder. This was the demon who survived a whole bathtub of Holy Water? He didn’t look like he could withstand a splash of it. 

“Gabriel. Beelzebub.” Aziraphale acknowledged them both in a very hurried tone. He always talked like he couldn’t wait to get over with the conversation, something that was very weird to Gabriel. 

“Angel, let’s just go. Whatever is happening here, we don’t want to know.” Crowley was drumming his fingers on the table, definitely not pleased with the meeting that was currently happening.

“But we just ordered, I’m still waiting for the entrée!” Aziraphale looked at Crowley and then winked at Gabriel, too caught up in his excitement for the dish to remember who he was talking to. “This restaurant has the best scallops in town.”

Gabriel didn’t know what that was so he just turned his head to Beelzebub, feeling that they were better equipped to handle this situation. They caught his confused look and pinched the bridge of their nose, letting out a very irritated sigh. “When did you two get here?” 

“We just sat down.” Crowley barked back at his former boss. “When did you two get here?” 

“I’ve been here for at least an hour, how did you not see me?” Beelzebub was shaking their head. 

Instead of answering, Crowley struggled to even start a sentence. He just made various word-like noises and finally shrugged while visibly flushed. Aziraphale glanced at him and stepped in: “We were… preoccupied.” 

“With what?” Asked Beelzebub while Gabriel raised a brow. 

“I don’t believe you want to know.” The only angel in this gathering replied very coldly. “I must say, all that execution talk about us fraternizing and here you two are… sharing a very large meal.” Aziraphale frowned, inspecting their table. “Is that... a pizza? Do they even serve pizza here?” 

“No. I made the server order one from Domino’s for me.” Beelzebub replied. Aziraphale’s head bobbed with shock at this unimaginable offense. “Besides, nobody’s fraternizing here. Except you two.” 

“Pardon?” Aziraphale glanced at them and then at Gabriel, clearly not understanding. Of course he didn’t. They were both cut off from their homes, stuck on Earth. Gabriel exhaled through his nose, glancing back at Beelzebub with a silent request. 

They rolled their eyes. “I’m getting sick of explaining this.” Beelzebub pointed at him with their palm and started buzzing out words at a rapid pace to get this chore over with. “He’s not an Archangel anymore, the management made him Fall a month after you two destroyed our hard work. He also lost his voice in the Fall so shed your sympathetic tears now if you must.” 

Aziraphale opened his mouth in shock, looking at Gabriel once again but also for the first time. He finally noticed the always-present tar stains, the dark circles and thin wrists. Gabriel felt one corner of his mouth rise in a weird half-smile. He had no idea why he reacted that way to Aziraphale’s gaze. Crowley was also looking at him but who knew what was happening behind those strange sunglasses. 

“My word.” Aziraphale finally replied. His voice was strained and Gabriel noted that with satisfaction. “I’m… sorry to hear this, Gabriel.” 

Gabriel shrugged with one shoulder. He still didn’t know what to do with apologies from people who didn’t matter to him. 

“Was this… because of us?” Aziraphale asked like he didn’t want to know.

“Angel…” Crowley looked like he was about to stand up and get before him to shield him from whatever answer they were going to hear Gabriel glanced at him unimpressed and then looked back at Aziraphale, moving his hands before Beelzebub could respond. 

“You’re not that important.” He signed, doing his best to ignore their initial confusion at his hands moving. Why did everyone always have that reaction? He was starting to hate it.

To Aziraphale’s credit, he swallowed his surprise rather quickly. Beelzebub sighed and got up with their chair to sit next to Gabriel to see the signs better. The waitress started walking towards all of them but stopped when Beelzebub glared at her. She looked relieved that for some reason she didn’t have to intervene. 

“I see.” Aziraphale pressed his lips together. “Then why?” 

“Why does anybody Fall?” Beelzebub asked with a very tired note in their voice. “To make things easier for Heaven.” 

“That’s not true!” Aziraphale exclaimed and looked at Crowley for some support. His demon didn’t say anything, subtly shaking his head. Aziraphale blinked at him but didn’t say anything else. Gabriel’s heart started to beat faster as he suddenly realized that he, Beelzebub and Crowley were all sharing the same kind of silence. This wasn’t something Aziraphale had access to and he must have realized that. 

“Well. For what it’s worth.” The angel awkwardly fixed the napkin on his lap. “I am sorry for whatever part I might have played in this.” 

“We tried to execute you.” Gabriel reminded him. He didn’t have space inside of him for the soft tone in Aziraphale’s voice, he didn’t know where to put it. All he wanted was shame and regret from his siblings, he wanted them to see the hurt they put him through and carry that for the rest of their existence. He couldn’t understand why Aziraphale wanted to take some of it for himself. 

“Yeah, exactly!” Crowley piped up at the mention of the angel’s failed execution which earned him a very annoyed look from Beelzebub. 

“I know. Hard to forget.” Aziraphale decisively met his gaze and Gabriel realized that this could be the first time when he actually looked him in the eye. Usually, Aziraphale just fluttered about and looked at everything but his superiors. This time, his violet eyes met the blue ones. 

Aziraphale wasn’t scared of him anymore. Gabriel found himself smiling softly. It shouldn’t have taken an entire Apocalypse for that to happen but Gabriel felt proud of him anyways. He never enjoyed Aziraphale’s scattered looks, his flinching hands. They were like a cry for help that he didn’t know how to answer. 

But now Aziraphale was looking straight at him and his hands were idle. “I simply don’t wish that fate upon anybody. Especially when I’m certain it could have been prevented by someone simply taking their time to hear you out.” 

Gabriel quickly recalled the many times he brushed Aziraphale aside, ignoring his panicky words. And that last order he had for him, to just shut up. Gabriel absentmindedly touched his throat where his voice should have been.

Well played, thought Gabriel but didn’t say anything. This wasn’t a game after all.

Aziraphale must have noticed something in his eyes that he was waiting for since the Apocalypse and smiled sadly. This was a victory that came too late for either of them. The angel cleared his throat and continued in a much more cheerful tone, turning his head to Crowley: “Speaking of, isn’t it nice that we’re all able to sit and have a peaceful conversation?” 

“Ngrh.” Responded Crowley, looking away as if he couldn’t bear to look at Aziraphale’s smile. 

“Yes, exactly how I envisioned my visit to Earth.” Beelzebub’s words contained a lethal dose of sarcasm. “Talking to the two biggest mistakes in the entire creation.” 

“Who, us? The biggest mistakes?” Crowley asked innocently, placing a hand on his chest with emphasis. “Nah, you’re thinking about pandas and koalas. Now, I don’t know who approved the paperwork for those but-” 

“Crowley.” Beelzebub interrupted him with just one glare, clearly not in the mood to hear his ramblings.

“Oi, don’t get snappy with me. You promised to leave us alone, all of you. It’s a nice restaurant but I won’t weep for it if Aziraphale decides to flood it with Holy Water to get rid of you.” Crowley crossed his arms, clinging to the bits of immunity they had after the failed executions. “Right, Angel?” 

Aziraphale reached out to touch Crowley’s hand and gave him a very disappointed look. Gabriel wasn’t sure if he was protesting the threat or the mere idea of destroying this place. Beelzebub shook their head at that brazen display of fraternization. 

“I’m done here. Are you coming?” They got up and looked at Gabriel. He sucked in the inside of his cheek, thinking hard. Finally, he nodded at them. 

“Hold on. Gabriel, surely you’re aware you don’t have to stay in Hell.” Aziraphale hurriedly informed him of something he already knew. “I don’t exactly know what it’s like down there but…” 

Gabriel stood up and signed slowly. “Thanks for the concern but some of us still have a sense of duty.”

“Ah.” Aziraphale nodded just once. And gave him another sad smile. “As long as it makes you happy.” 

“How can you be happy without it?” Gabriel asked. There was no malice on his face, just the desperate need to know how could Aziraphale even function after turning his back on Heaven, how could he even live without his family.

“I managed to find a suitable replacement.” Aziraphale responded lightly but for some reason, he forgot to look at Gabriel as he did so. He was staring at Crowley. The demon let out another choked noise. Gabriel looked at both of them in silence, trying his best to understand Aziraphale’s answer. 

Beelzebub buzzed with impatience. “Great. Wonderful.” They elbowed Gabriel in his side, dragging him back to the present. “Let’s go. We have things to do.” 

This time, it was Gabriel who couldn’t meet Aziraphale’s eyes. He looked away, unable to comprehend the soft light in them. Nodding absentmindedly, Gabriel gave a quick wave to the strange pair. Crowley waved back, Aziraphale didn’t move. 

“Tell the waitress it’s okay to send in the food now!” Crowley yelled at them both as they walked past their table towards the exit. Beelzebub glared at him over their shoulder. 

“Ugh, the audacity. He survives one execution and thinks he can start ordering me around.” They hissed pushing the door open. The waitress was standing outside and jumped up at their sudden exit. Beelzebub beckoned her closer: “You can serve them their food now but only when it’s completely cold.” 

The waitress nodded obediently. Gabriel shot Beelzebub an unimpressed look. As soon as the human was out of sight, they crossed their arms and commented with venom: “Of all the restaurants in this city they had to choose this one for today’s dinner.” 

Gabriel shrugged. Once upon a time, he’d call this a divine intervention but since nothing stopped his Fall, he had no reason to continue believing in that concept. 

“I have some reports to read.” He signed quickly. 

Beelzebub hummed. “Me too. Wait.” They glanced at him. “Remember what I told you today. Come to me if you see something troubling. And keep your mouth shut around Lucifer.”

“Sure.” He confirmed with a very sloppy gesture. Beelzebub gave him a long, measuring look. They had to sense the rattling effect of this conversation but they couldn’t even begin to guess just how many thoughts were swirling inside of him. Gabriel withstood their discerning gaze without a single blink. Beelzebub raised a brow but gave up. 

“Right then.” They stuck hands in the pockets of their suit. “See you in Hell.” 

They disappeared without a trace, no doubt reappearing in their office. Gabriel glanced at the door behind him. He slowly approached it and pressed his ear against the lacquered wood. A muffled sound of a demon and an angel laughing in unison reached him and he pulled away from the door like it just burned him. He took a step back and miracled himself back into his office. 

The ties and shirts he bought from his favorite tailor were scattered all over his bed. He squinted his eyes as his peacock jumped out of a pile of clothes, shrieking loudly at him. Gabriel knew this was payback for leaving it unattended for so long so he didn’t even bother with getting angry at it. He just shoved it away from the expensive fabric. The bird squawked, clearly still insulted, and hopped away.

Gabriel sat down on the bed, slowly picking up the shirts one by one and folding them mechanically, without much thought. When he was done, he stared blankly at the neatly folded pile by his side. There were fresh black fingerprints all over the newly bought shirts. 

In a sudden move, he pushed the pile off his bed, letting the silky fabric spill all over the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW.... i confess this entire chapter got away from me but there was just a lot of themes i wanted to cover so this mess happened... i had a lot of fun writing it, especially the part with crowley and aziraphale, it was nice to put gabriel thru another Growing Moment. who knows perhaps he will Realize things and mayhaps even Learn ??? STAY TUNED. 
> 
> next chapter: The Dark Council Does Its Dark Bidding


	11. there's a first time for everything

Former Archangel Gabriel was about to be late to a meeting for the first time in his life.

He wasn’t exactly sure how he ended up in this situation. But if he had to form an educated guess, he’d have to blame his impromptu nap in the middle of reviewing his department’s request for additional office space. The only reason why Gabriel woke up at all was because his peacock decided it would be fun to peck at his earlobe while he slept on a pile of important documents. Normally, Gabriel would resent that course of action but at least it gave him a chance to make it to the meeting in time. 

Like a storm, he blew past Gemma who barely had time to yelp and step back to make space for his frantic departure. The peacock chased after him, shrieking like a very angry alarm clock. Without a word of explanation, Gabriel slammed the door to his department behind them both and began his desperate march toward the throne room. He was very close to breaking into a sprint but he didn't. Former Archangels don’t run to the meetings, they grimace and walk briskly at most.

Worst of all, it wasn’t just any meeting he was about to be late to. It was the Dark Council meeting. He’s known about it for days now. Lucifer announced it right after he returned to Hell from picking up his new suit. Gabriel remembered holding the memo in his hands and imagining the perplexed look on Beelzebub’s face as they read the same piece of paper. He still wasn’t sure what they saw in Lucifer’s actions that he didn’t. But Gabriel knew by now that Beelzebub was rarely wrong about anything. 

He continued his march through the corridors of Hell, startling other demons with his loud, booming steps. Gabriel pressed his lips even tighter, wondering why exactly was the throne room in such a remote part of Hell. It seemed like a bad design choice to him and because of it he was most definitely going to be late. He’s never been late, ever. A messenger couldn’t be late or else he would be unreliable. And an unreliable messenger had no point in existing. Gabriel entered a turn so sharply he almost slipped with a squeak of his new Italian shoes. Miraculously, he did not topple over. Gabriel could now see the throne room doors at the end of the corridor, beckoning him closer with urgency. He glanced at his cracked wristwatch. Five minutes until the meeting. He can make it--

Something furry stepped in front of his legs like a four-legged hurdle. Gabriel barely lifted up his uncoordinated legs high enough to avoid trampling the familiar-looking dog. His peacock caught up to them both and squawked loudly at the other animal. Gabriel took a couple of stumbling steps in an attempt to regain his balance. He managed to stop, shake off the rapid tempo and look behind to see what exactly attempted to trip him over. The dog was standing still, its head was low and its teeth were bared. Gabriel shook his head. He didn’t have time for this. He turned around and bumped right into the dog’s owner.

His first instinct was to shield his stomach with a forearm. But that wouldn't be very dignifying of him. Instead, he took a polite step back, cautiously eyeing the demon who appeared out of nowhere. It was the same one who punched him in the stomach after saying something about how Archangels were to blame for everything that has ever happened to him. It’s been months since Gabriel last saw him. He was still tall and broad, still amazingly unremarkable. Hell was full of grunts like him. 

“Was waiting for you.” The demon announced. Gabriel stared at him, trying to remember his name. He gave up after less than a second. 

Gabriel shrugged and signed quickly. “Okay? Try sending a memo next time.” He didn’t apologize as he moved to brush past the demon, eyes fixed on the doors in the distance. Almost there. 

The demon’s dirty paw grabbed his shoulder as he was walking past him. Gabriel stared at the hand on his shoulder and the grimy claws sinking into his new suit in utter bafflement. Something hissed next to his feet, getting ready to strike. He looked up from the grime-covered hand to meet the demon’s eyes in search of an explanation. Just why exactly did he think he could touch him without permission? 

“I got somethin’ to say to you.” The demon’s face was so bland and devoid of anything exceptional that it was borderline offensive to Gabriel. Someone like that didn’t deserve even a minute of his time.

He lifted his arms to sign exactly that but then the hand on his shoulder moved to his left wrist, clasping around it. His right wrist was grabbed too in a move he’d never predict, not even in a thousand years. His peacock exploded into a deafening shriek, prompting the growling dog to finally launch itself at it. Gabriel didn’t even look at the two animals fighting. He just froze.

“No, I speak. You listen.” The demon explained, barely holding back a disgusting grin. His lips twitched and stretched in spurts of triumph. 

Gabriel blinked at his immobilized hands. Is that all it took to silence him again? He almost couldn’t believe it. The demon continued his speech despite everything.

“We won’t be seeing each other soon. I’ve been constricted, mate. You probably don’t even know what that means. But there’s a war coming and I will be on the front line.” The grip on his wrists tightened. Gabriel stared blankly at the wormlike fingers squirming in the layers of tar on his skin. He was aware that the other demon was still speaking but his words weren’t reaching him at all. The sounds around him were blurring together. The spiteful voice, the yelps of a fighting dog and angry flapping wings of a peacock. Their sum was just a droning hum in the back of his head.

“But before I go and join my new battalion, I just wanted to remind you of something.” 

Gabriel glanced away from his held wrists to the doors in the background. He was walking somewhere, wasn’t he? He remembered something about being late. The demon wasn’t pleased with him looking away and gripped his wrists harder, threatening to crush the hollow bones. 

“Remember what I promised after I Fell? I said I’m going to get the bastards who did this to me.” The dog and the bird continued to fight between their legs. Thin jaws snapped and gray feathers fell to the floor. “Remember that? ‘course you do. I want you to think about that when you sit in your new cushy office that you don’t deserve. When the war comes I want you to remember that I’m on that battlefield and that I will be personally making sure that no Archangel leaves it alive.”

A rotten, excited breath washed over his cheek and Gabriel violently jerked his head towards the demon, finally meeting his gaze. Royal violet clashed against the mundane brown.

Satisfied with the attention he had at last, the demon resumed his monologue. His square jaw moved up and down but it didn’t matter. Gabriel still couldn’t hear any words coming out of it. He could see the gray teeth and the gorged tongue flapping behind them but there was no meaning to the garbled sounds they produced. There was just the overwhelming desire to hurt, to punish, to clip wings.

What did that creature just say? Something about his siblings dying. Was the anger still coming from the demon? Should Gabriel be feeling it so close to where his heart should be?

The hateful voice carried on without so much as a break for one single breath. His peacock was shrieking, the dog was yowling in pain, the promises of future grief continued to flow, louder and louder. Every sound was mounting, chasing after one another, clashing and echoing in his ears. Despite it all, his eyes couldn’t look away from demon’s engorged, flapping lips.

If he could shut up for just a second, Gabriel thought. Just shut up. Shut your disgusting mouth.

Something cold bloomed behind his ribs. 

The demon paused abruptly. The whites of his eyes flashed like a torch as his voice was seized by something invisible. Confusion crept in slowly onto his unremarkable features as he tried to clear his throat. The surprise was quickly followed by panic as his mouth stilled and his eyelids dropped impossibly low. 

Nobody ever taught Gabriel to seek moments of weakness in others. He wasn’t meant for the battlefield, he wasn’t created to fight. All he had was words of others and almost nothing of his own. Back in Heaven, that used to be enough. But as Gabriel quietly watched the demon’s release him from his repulsive grasp, he realized this was no longer the case. Hell needed more from him, Hell taught him something even if he didn’t know he was learning.

The big lesson. How to hurt back in a place that fueled by pain. 

The dog and the peacock stopped their vicious fight and froze, watching the silent spectacle unfold.

“What are you…” The demon tried to ask him something but his voice grew quieter with every word until it wasn’t even a whisper, just a mute, barely noticeable movement of his lips. He was swaying on his legs, struggling to keep standing, drowning in an invisible tar pit.

Gabriel stared at the demon with empty eyes. He was cold. Frozen over. He’s known anger before this was different and new. And what is new should feel startling. But it didn’t. He was an Archangel, now a Prince. Displays of power were always his right. 

Demon’s knees buckled and he collapsed without a sound. His eyes closed as his body folded slowly onto itself, weighed down by anchors Gabriel couldn’t see but he knew they belonged to him. His would-be captor was completely still now. His dog whined and slowly approached its owner, nudging his side with a snout. The demon didn’t budge. He resembled a toy someone discarded after a lot of deliberate consideration. 

Or a dead body, thought Gabriel. 

Awareness rushed into his body like a punch to his gut. Everything came back at once. His eyes refocused, the droning noise melted away. Gabriel suddenly realized he was swallowing gulps of air in a way that made his stomach lurch. He stepped back, away from the collapsed body. Gabriel stared at the demon in alarm, placing a hand on the wall to steady himself. Did he do that? Did he just-- No, that could not be a discorporation, the body was still there. 

The dog continued to nudge at its lifeless owner with a strange sense of urgency. Gabriel’s chest rose and fell with careful breaths. His peacock slowly rejoined his side. He glanced at it quickly. The bird was missing a couple of feathers but mostly it seemed unscathed. The same could not be said for the scratched-up, bleeding hound. 

Gabriel didn’t want to move from the spot his legs seemed to be frozen in. But he clenched his teeth hard and slowly approached the mystery before him. The dog snapped its head at him, ready to growl, but something stopped it from doing so. Perhaps the glistening spark of fear in its brown eyes. 

He’s never seen that before. All he ever saw in the eyes of others was either amusement or annoyance. Never fear.

Gabriel didn’t know how to feel about that. 

He stared at the crumpled up body beneath his feet. The demon was still curled up on the floor, completely still, completely lifeless. What did he just do? And what should he do now? Nothing came to his mind. Gabriel sucked in a deep breath. 

What would Beelzebub do?

They would hide the body, Gabriel was certain of that. But he couldn’t even imagine himself doing something like that. The picture of Archangel Gabriel hauling a corpse- it just didn’t make sense. He suddenly remembered about the meeting he was rushing to and cringed. Hurriedly, he lifted his watch up to his nose.

He was late. Ten minutes late. 

His dazed gaze flicked between the body and the doors to the throne room. Which was more important? The meeting, of course. But he couldn’t leave this thing here. Everyone was going to see it after the meeting and they were going to know that he was somehow responsible, why else would he be late? 

The fictional Beelzebub in his head was right, he needed to hide the body. Spurred by the sudden motivation to not make matters worse, he bent down to grab the ankles of the motionless demon. Gabriel winced as he touched his skin, almost gagging at the thin layer of sweat against his fingertips. The grimace on his face deepened when he felt a wave of rotten breath wash over him anew. 

Hold on, he thought. He’s breathing.

Gabriel blinked and unceremoniously dropped the demon’s limbs, scrambling closer to his face. It was still frozen, encasing the demon’s panic as a state of unnatural stillness claimed his corporation. But this close to his face, Gabriel could actually see the slightly parted lips and the subtle rise and fall of the demon’s chest. He wasn’t gone. He was sleeping. 

Gabriel sighed with relief, pinching the bridge of his nose. It didn’t make the situation clearer, he still had no idea what just happened. But a sleeping body was more manageable than a dead one. He glanced at the doors in the distance and made a quick decision. Grabbing the unconscious demon by his shoulders, he dragged him closer to the wall and manipulated him into a seated position. 

He was just sleeping. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe whoever finds him won’t notice the strange stillness of his body and the deep, coma-like slumber he was imprisoned in. Maybe they’ll just assume the demon worked too hard and stopped to nap on his way to his office. It’s definitely what Gabriel would think.

The mangy dog observed his machinations with a cautious growl. As soon as he stepped away from its owner, the animal jumped into the demon’s lap, shielding him with its own scratched-up body. Gabriel didn’t care about that. He had a meeting to get to. 

Still frazzled, he slicked back his hair and motioned at his peacock. It stared at him with a strange sense of apprehension he couldn’t recall seeing before. But it jumped onto his shoulder with obedience he didn’t want to read too much into. Gabriel took a deep breath and walked towards the throne room. He placed his hand on the doors. And took another deep breath. 

He didn’t feel like forcing a smile. This time he just couldn’t. He glanced behind himself and pushed the doors open, bursting inside and escaping the sight of a demon in an inflicted coma.

As he entered the throne room, six heads turned to look at him. He couldn’t see all of them. He registered only glimpses of them: Beelzebub’s cocked brow, Mammon’s hollow eye sockets, Asmodeus’ pleasant smile. Gabriel nodded tensely in a greeting and rushed to take his place by the grand table.

“Ah. Gabriel.” Lucifer spoke first. His head was canted to the side and the golden locks of hair framing it looked like a halo he wasn’t allowed to have. “You’re late.” 

His brother didn’t sound angry. If anything, he sounded proud of him. Gabriel just pressed his lips together and quietly took his seat, between the Prince of Greed and Prince of Envy. Lucifer was still staring at him, waiting for something with a small but strained smile. 

Gabriel blinked at him. Oh, right. 

“Sorry.” He drew a circle on his chest and glanced down. Lucifer nodded, satisfied. The Prince of Wrath, Baal, scoffed loudly. 

Beelzebub was seated on the opposite side of the table. Gabriel lifted up his distracted gaze and walked into the trap of their intense eyes. The corners of his mouth twitched as they drilled holes in him with their gaze. 

“Now that we’re all here…” Lucifer stood up smoothly and started to leisurely circle their table. His pace was unhurried but deliberate. A crawl of a python that has already picked out its victim. 

Beelzebub was still staring at Gabriel and even raised their brow at him. The question in their eyes was very apparent. He waited for Lucifer to reach the other end of the table before very subtly shaking his head at them. Nothing was wrong. His head was still full of rattling thoughts and every feeling was strangely muted, floating somewhere above him-- but technically he was okay. He didn’t know what was going on and he was definitely overwhelmed but how was that different from any other day in Hell?

Beelzebub blinked at him, unsatisfied with the answer. But before they could cock the other brow at Gabriel, Lucifer spoke again: 

“I’m sure many of you have noticed a certain kind of… agitation over the past few months. Some of you even asked about it directly.” As he said this, he brushed past Beelzebub’s chair. “And I apologize for my discretion but I felt that certain preparations had to take place before I could share the reason behind it with all of you, my wonderful Princes.” 

Lucifer was now standing behind Baal. She craned her head, her lion eyes were fixed on him, refusing to let the King of Hell out of her field of vision. He placed a slender hand on her chair. 

“Perhaps some of you already know what I’m about to announce.” Lucifer spoke with a royal weight behind each word that left his pale lips. Gabriel quietly moved his hands to his thighs and sunk fingers into them with desperate pressure. He needed to focus, he couldn’t afford to zone out right now despite everything that has happened before he opened the doors.

His gaze slipped away from him and dropped to the table. He wondered if that demon and his dog were still outside. He hoped not. Maybe he was awake by now. Gabriel really wanted him to be up and gone already. Beelzebub’s boot delivered a sharp kick to his ankle and he almost jumped up in his seat. Somehow, he missed the entire introduction part of Lucifer’s speech and caught only the end of it.

“...so with that out of the way, here’s why I called all of you here…” His brother put his hands together in a delicate and benevolent gesture and paused for effect.

The entire Dark Council tensed up. Baal’s amber eyes squinted slightly but her mouth stretched into a wanting smile. Mammon, whose head was an empty ram skull, weaved his gloved fingers together and carefully placed them on the table. Asmodeus wet his lips with a dart of a tongue. Only now Gabriel noticed that he grew out a beard since the last time he saw him. Leviathan fixed their posture with a shuffling sound of their perpetually molting scales. Beelzebub was the only one who didn’t move.

“We will be going to war with Heaven before this year is over.” The King of Hell announced. 

A jolt of energy spread around the table. Heads moved left and right. Frantic gazes were exchanged. Gabriel stared at his hands. His eyes felt dry.

_I will be on that battlefield and I will be personally making sure that no Archangel leaves it alive._

“Now, now... “ Lucifer raised his unblemished hands in a placating gesture, clearly anticipating their surprise. “I promised you that the Antichrist wasn’t the end of our story. This is where we pick it up, by ourselves.” 

Leviathan shuffled in their seat again. “But, my Lord, the Great Plan…”

The timid prelude to a question was cut short by Lucifer simply squinting his fiery eyes. “No. Do not even mention that thing to me.” 

The King of Hell resumed his stalking around them, this time with louder steps. “It was just another set of orders left by Her. And I do believe that we started this place to do the exact opposite.” A familiar kind of anger snuck into Lucifer’s words, making his voice rough and jagged like the rocks hanging from the cave ceiling. 

“Sir.” A new voice buzzed.

Gabriel looked up to see Beelzebub facing Lucifer. Their tiny body was tense like a cord that was about to snap.

“With all due respect.” Beelzebub waited for the King to stop his slow pacing and continued with only a momentary hesitation. “We’re all ecstatic to hear the news but without the Apocalypse the Second War is… inadvisable at best.”

“Is it?” Lucifer canted his head to the side. “Feel free to elaborate, Beelzebub.” 

He was challenging them to make a wrong move, removing any future blame from his shoulders. All Princes shifted their gazes towards Beelzebub, some with unrestrained giddiness and some with a grim sense of sympathy. The Prince of Gluttony ignored them all.

“The Apocalypse was a necessity, we needed it to level the battlefield. Wiping out all of the physical creation removes… distractions.” They replied. 

A pause. 

“Good point.” Lucifer replied breezily. “Maybe you should be the one leading our army and not Baal, hm? Unless she has something to say to that?” 

The Prince of Wrath glanced at Lucifer and then glared at Beelzebub. Even in his dazed state, Gabriel could see that Lucifer was trying to distract everyone by inviting them to fight amongst themselves. He still remembered the casual tone in which Lucifer asked him what would Michael think about this or that. And the way his head would hang low at that question.

“Who cares if the Earth is still here?” Baal hissed, baring her sharp feline teeth at Beelzebub. “Or humans for that matter. They can’t do anything to us! They’re just insects.” 

“Do we know that for certain?” Beelzebub replied, quick to defend their concerns. Their voice was steady but the buzzing in their words went on for just a second too long. “That place is a complete mystery to us and it’s where the Traitors and the Antichrist stopped the Gr-... the Apocalypse.” 

Lucifer’s nostrils flared just a tiny bit. “Another great point, Beelzebub!” 

Gabriel has never heard praise sound like a threat before. He frowned, looking at Beelzebub. They caught his worried eyes and pressed their lips together in response. Now wasn’t the time for that.

“No strategy is perfect, I’ll admit that.” Lucifer drawled in a bored, almost lazy tone. He was a king and ultimately, kings do not have to concern themselves with what their subjects are thinking. “But you’ll find that this imaginary drawback of yours pales in comparison to the advantages of striking now. First of all, Heaven in the middle of disarming.” 

Beelzebub threw a warning gaze at Gabriel. He looked down. He wasn’t going to correct Lucifer anyway. 

“That’s true!” Leviathan nodded enthusiastically, their head bobbed up and down with a dry rattlesnake sound.

Lucifer waited for the first argument to sink in. When Beelzebub did not react, he continued: “Second of all, you cannot possibly imagine the state of disarray in Heaven right now.” The King of Hell completed a lap around the table and suddenly stopped behind Gabriel. A pale hand landed on his shoulder, the one that wasn’t currently occupied by a strangely quiet peacock. It was a gesture that should have felt reassuring but for some reason, it felt like getting singled out for some terrible fate. 

Gabriel kept his head low, fully aware that everyone was staring at him. He can sit this out, it will be over soon. 

“After all, they decided to get rid of the only angel that kept them all together.” Lucifer said softly. 

Soft murmur moved around him like ripples in a disturbed pond. Beelzebub was probably grimacing at him right now. He didn’t know, he didn’t want to look up from the table before him. 

“Right now, there’s a power vacuum in Heaven. There are unfulfilled duties and general lack of… communication... which we can use to our advantage.” Lucifer calmly resumed showing off his strategic brilliance. 

“Ah, how very perceptive of you, my lord.” Asmodeus piped up. 

“Yes, well.” The hand on Gabriel’s was getting heavier and heavier until Lucifer suddenly removed it with a patronizing pat. Gabriel released a muted breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. The King of Hell finally sat down on his grand chair, facing all of his Princes. “Without Gabriel up there I would have strangled Michael ages before the First War.” Lucifer winked which prompted a wave of obedient laughter from everyone except Gabriel and Beelzebub. 

Was that true? Gabriel couldn’t tell anymore. Maybe. Or maybe Lucifer was playing it up to make him seem like an advantage. 

“Not only we have our entire army still ready and mobilized, but we also made it bigger. We have the element of surprise at our side. Heaven has one Archangel less, they are in total disarray...” Lucifer offered an argument after an argument, too fast for anyone to interject and too confident to inspire doubt in the first place. “I really could go on. But I trust that you’re on board now, Beelzebub.” 

Beelzebub cleared their throat and replied slowly, careful not to spring another trap: “Of course, my lord. I was on board from the very beginning, I just thought it would be amiss of me to not--” 

“Noted.” Lucifer interrupted them in a raised tone. That was the last civil warning he had for them, the last bits of amused patience. Reclining in his chair, he addressed the Princes in a firm tone: “You will be informed of the strategy in the upcoming days. You will be also given specific orders.” 

The King of Hell was not going to be denied any longer, he knew that and now they were learning this too.

“This time, we start the war ourselves. This time, we do not follow Her will and we do not fight to defend ourselves.” 

Something alive was stirring inside Gabriel’s chest as Lucifer spoke. He slowly looked up to face his brother and stared into his golden eyes, drawn in by the fire smoldering behind them. Was it always there, that quiet rage? Did he not see it or did he choose not to? 

He recalled that same sensation just moments ago as he watched a body collapse in front of him, silenced by his wish. We are still brothers, he realized with desperation. Down below, more than ever. That same wrath that pushed Lucifer to rebellion, it was inside him now too. Would it let Gabriel stand in the imposed silence and watch Michael be struck from the sky? He didn’t know, he didn't want to know.

“This time, we take what is ours. And we free our brothers and sisters from the tyranny of Heaven.” Lucifer spoke calmly and everything he said clicked into the right place immediately. “Those who refuse to see chains on their ankles will be put out of their misery. We will finish what the first rebellion started.” 

Nobody responded. It wasn’t their place to interrupt the King’s speech. Lucifer slowly directed his gaze from one Prince to another, taking in the reaction to his orders. There was the utter devotion on Leviathan’s face, Baal’s already hungry smile and the curious spark in Asmodeus’ eyes. Mammon’s eye sockets seemed more calculating than ever. The smile on Beelzebub’s face was too sharp to be fully convincing. And then there was the naked fear in the violet eyes that used to belong to an Archangel. 

Lucifer tapped on the surface of the stone table. His fingers drummed loudly to dismiss the tension in the room. “More instructions will follow soon. After that, I will make an announcement to the rest of Hell. For now, I would prefer if you kept this between all of you, my dear Princes.” He smiled softly. “We don’t want to get everyone worked up before the right moment.” 

Baal cackled loudly. Gabriel had no idea why she made that ugly sound. 

“Dismissed.” The King of Hell announced. Unwieldy chairs scraped against the stone floor as every member of the Dark Council got up at the same time. Gabriel shot up from his seat, almost causing his peacock to fall off his shoulder. It squawked at him, offended at the sudden rush. Before anyone could even look at him, Gabriel was already by the doors, pushing them open with one shoulder. 

An empty corridor greeted him. His bird hopped off his shoulder and blinked at the spot where a sleeping body should have been. A wave of relief grabbed him, ready to carry him all the way to the safety of his office. It was, however, interrupted by a small hand grabbing his wrist and tugging him violently forward. 

“Quick. Before anyone sees us.” Beelzebub was by his side already, dragging him away from the throne room. They weren’t looking at him but he could sense a growing fury threatening to spill out of their tiny body anyways. Gabriel winced but let Beelzebub guide him through the hallways of Hell. After a couple of misleading turns, they picked some tiny office and kicked the door open. Two sheepishly-looking demons looked up from their conjoined desks, shocked by the interruption. 

“Out.” Beelzebub buzzed through the clenched teeth. The demons blinked. Beelzebub repeated, raising their tone despite barely moving their lips: “I said, OUT.”

The demons scrambled and evacuated their tiny office immediately, almost tripping over themselves on their way out. Beelzebub slammed the door behind them causing Gabriel to flinch. 

“Why were you late?” Beelzebub asked, staring into his eyes with an intensity he hasn’t seen before. Gabriel opened his mouth before remembering that wasn’t an option anymore. 

He raised his arms instead: “Overslept.” 

Technically, it was true. It’s what started off the whole sequence of events. Beelzebub studied his face for a quiet while and finally shook their head. This wasn’t the question they cared about. 

“We have to stop this.” Beelzebub was pinning him with their gaze to the door behind.

Gabriel didn’t respond. Which wasn’t the reaction Beelzebub was waiting for, judging by the way their eyes widened. Instead of nodding and animatedly agreeing with them, Gabriel just looked down. Beelzebub hissed, frustrated by the lack of communication from him. They looked like they were seconds away from hurling a notepad at him, even though they supposedly worked past it.

“What the hell is wrong with you today? What happened?” They stepped closer. Beelzebub could have reached for his hands now if they wanted to. “Did you even hear a single word Lucifer said today? He’s going to start a war! A war we can’t win! Not without many, many casualties!”

Gabriel shook his head, unable to meet their eyes, scared of the holes they would burn in his body. He didn’t know what he was objecting to - their words or this entire situation. 

“You can’t tell me you agree with him!” Beelzebub was starting to sound frantic. They needed him, they needed somebody on their side. “You want to see your siblings get hurt? Or die?” 

Everybody always knew the right thing to say to him. Gabriel wished he knew how to do that too. 

“I don’t. I don’t want that. ” He looked up and signed clumsily. His hands bumped into each other. The closest he had to a shaky voice. “I just don’t know what do you want me to say.” 

“That you agree with me!” Beelzebub barked at him immediately, craning their neck up to see him better. For someone who insisted that every demon in Hell was on their own, they were suddenly very desperate to hear otherwise. 

“I do. I agree with you.” His hands flew as his brows furrowed pleadingly. Of course he didn’t want any of this. He didn’t want the war, he didn’t want to cause demons to suddenly fall into a deathlike slumber. Beelzebub shook their head at him, disappointed. 

“This won’t be an easy battle. Lucifer talks he already won but Heaven isn’t as defenseless as he thinks.” They turned around, muttering quickly under their nose. “They haven’t begun disarming, they know they have to be careful. And Michael! She’s on top of things, she has to be!” 

They were pacing now, taking two steps to the left, sharply turning on their heels and taking two steps to the right. Gabriel almost jumped when they stopped and whipped their head towards him: “And Earth! The humans! We don’t know what will happen if we just-- all leave Hell to attack Heaven. We don’t know what they will do! The Antichrist was raised by them, right? And he almost erased Lucifer from existence!” 

Gabriel stiffened, taken aback. He didn’t know about that. Beelzebub sighed loudly, exhaling the agitated energy. They covered their eyes with their palm and spoke again:

“No. No, I have to stop this. We have to stop this.” Beelzebub sounded drained. Like they knew something about their chances of survival that he didn’t. “He’s insane, he’s sending us to a fight we have no guarantee of winning. And even if we do, what about humans? Do we have to fight them too? This isn’t about helping Hell, this is about Lucifer getting that last word he’s been dreaming about for centuries. And he’ll sacrifice Hell for that if he has to.”

Beelzebub removed the hand from their face and looked at him with so much defeat in their eyes that Gabriel’s palms twitched, ready to sign an apology in place of Lucifer. Beelzebub was staring at him, waiting for something. But they were the one who always had answers, not Gabriel. 

Still, he tried. He always tried.

“Maybe I could talk to him.” He felt so stupid signing this, more than usual. Gabriel tried talking to Lucifer once before. And now they were both in Hell. 

Beelzebub shook their head in response. They were fully aware that if Lucifer wanted to do something, not even God could stop him. 

“It’s going to be a massacre.” Beelzebub’s voice was hoarse from all the frustrated screams they were denying themselves. “For Heaven and Hell both. We were evenly matched before but now I don’t know where we stand. I don’t know what we’re walking into.”

A simple thought wandered into Gabriel’s stunned mind. What if this war would make Her come back? He took a deep breath and pressed his lips together, trapping the hope inside. As long as Mother was back, it didn’t even matter which side won, as long as he got to see her, explain to her--

“Gabriel.” Beelzebub pleaded. 

He blinked at them, remembering about their presence and their oddly glistening eyes. A sharp stab of shame lodged itself somewhere in his throat. He shouldn’t be thinking that. He shouldn’t be wishing for war just to save himself from Hell. 

But he was. He prayed for a way out for so long. 

“I’m sorry.” Gabriel shook his head. “I don’t know what to say to you. I’m so confused.” Why were his hands so heavy? Was the tar sticking to them always this dark and incriminating? 

Beelzebub sighed hard. 

“Fine. It’s fine. Fine.” They repeated that word a couple more times and tightened their hands into fists. The tiny palms trembled hard before they forcibly unfurled them, splaying out their fingers with another shaky breath. “It’s not over yet.” 

But it could be over. I want it to be over, Gabriel thought.

“Lucifer said he still needs to work on the strategy. We have time until he makes the big announcement to the rest of Hell.” Beelzebub’s voice was strained but their eyes weren’t so bright anymore. 

“Time to do what?” He asked instead of agreeing with them.

“I don’t know yet. I’ll think of something.” Beelzebub was now smoothing down lapels of their suit, making sure the emotional tremor they just went through wasn’t visible from the outside. Gabriel briefly wondered if they picked that ritual up from him. 

“You always do.” He signed slowly. 

“It’s because I have no choice.” Beelzebub rubbed their forehead and glanced at him. “You have to act like it’s business as usual. Don’t raise suspicions. I will come to you when I…” They paused, not inspiring much confidence. “...when I come up with a plan.” 

He nodded, feeling blank like the gaze he gave them. 

Beelzebub gathered words for a while, trying to craft the right response. But instead of that, they suddenly blurted out: “Just tell me I can count on you. That’s all I want from you.” 

Gabriel looked down for just a second. He didn’t know. He didn’t know if he was on their side, he didn’t know if he wanted the war to happen or not. 

But he nodded anyways. 

“Alright.” For some reason, that was enough for Beelzebub to slowly relax. They tried putting on their usual biting voice but it sounded almost feeble: “Is there anything else I should know about before I try to think of a way to save the entirety of Hell on my own?” 

Gabriel thought about the demon who assaulted him before the meeting. About the way he just collapsed in front of him, separated from his consciousness just because Gabriel wanted that to happen.

He wrapped his arms around himself and shook his head, unaware that he just lied for the first time in his life. 

Beelzebub observed him for a while but didn’t see anything. They didn’t know they should have been on a lookout for the signs of deception. They nodded.

“Good. Remember, business as usual.” Beelzebub stepped towards the door, briefly hovering next to him. It was a perfect distance for him to reach out to them, pat them on their back, sign something inspiring. 

But there was nothing helpful in his head. So he just let them brush past him and leave. Gabriel listened to the dry click of a door being closed, now all alone in an office that didn’t belong to him. 

He will have to make a decision soon. 

But he also knew things didn’t end well whenever he tried doing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um. well. hi. 
> 
> i know i dont need to explain the sudden break in updates bc this is just smth i do for fun but i just have to complain abt how the quarantine killed my will to WRITE ^_~ .... its awful, im stuck inside and youd think this would be the perfect time to write but i cant force myself to do anything... writing this chapter was hard and im sure there are some clunky moments but i also know there are some FIRE bits as well. 
> 
> i'm SO close to finishing this story, i just have two more chapters and an epilogue planned and i am VERY dedictated to completing this little adventure !!!!!!! it just might take more time because of the quarantine. i hope you liked this chapter and that ur still interested in beelzebub and gabriels hijinks in hell !!!!! stay safe everyone ♥
> 
> next chapter: the girls (as in beelzebub and gabriel) pull an all-nighter


	12. when its 3am at a sleepover but nobody's sleeping bc youre all talking about the meaning of life

The longer Beelzebub stared at Lucifer, the more hopeless they felt about the whole endeavor. 

The King of Hell was calmly browsing the stack of reviews with his back turned to them. Since Gabriel wasn’t in the room, Lucifer was back to his usual monstrous self. Crimson like a very angry brick, shielded by leathery wings and impossibly tall. Beelzebub stared at his imposing silhouette in silence. Their gaze jumped from the horned crown on top of his head, then slid down his massive shoulders, followed the protruding spine and finished at the pair of shiny hooves firmly planted on the cave floor. 

Beelzebub couldn’t see any weak points. Because Lucifer didn’t have any. They would not survive a direct fight with him, even if they had the benefit of surprise. 

Lucifer cheerfully hummed to himself as he turned another page of the report which they barely finished writing on time. Beelzebub was more concerned with thinking of a way to somehow stop Lucifer from declaring a war than they were with writing performance reports. But he didn’t know that. Hopefully. Either way, Beelzebub still hadn't come up with any concrete plan. At this point, the only productive idea they had was a regicide. Which seemed entirely too dramatic for them.

What if they could get some Holy Water? Beelzebub bit down on their lower lip, staring at Lucifer’s shoulder blades. Would it even work on him? He was a demon, like all of them, but so much more powerful. They imagined themselves chucking a bottle of Holy Water at Lucifer’s back, only for it to slightly sizzle and harmlessly roll down his body as he whips his head around, nostrils flared and eyes burning. He’d obliterate them in an instant.

“Everything seems to be in order.” Lucifer informed them in a light, breezy tone. Beelzebub twitched, jerking their attention away from their futile assassination fantasy. They cleared their throat and forced themselves to approach the king. 

“Glad to hear it, my lord.” Beelzebub bowed their head as they reached for the scattered pages. 

“And now that you’re done with that menial task, I have something else planned for you.” 

Beelzebub froze. Their hand hung in the air inches away from the documents on the table. Lucifer bared his monstrous teeth at them and stepped towards his throne with a proud click of his hooves. The King of Hell climbed the stairs to the chair carved out of cruel, jagged rock and took a seat. He stared down at them with a hint of amusement. 

“Anything-” Their throat dried up in the middle of the sentence. Beelzebub swallowed loudly and tried again. “Anything, my lord.” 

Pleased with the unusually nervous display of obedience, Lucifer reclined in his massive throne, weaved his hands together and casually asked: “Do you recall our original plans of attacking Heaven? I’m thinking about using those again.” 

Beelzebub tensed a tiny bit, hoping it wasn’t noticeable. “We destroyed them after the Apocalypse… per your instructions, sir.”

They hoped the annoyance in their buzzing wasn’t noticeable either. 

Lucifer canted his head to the side with a nonchalant hum. “Oh. Interesting. Why did I do that?” 

Immediately, their caution was suffocated by a wave of irritation. Beelzebub grit their teeth hard enough to hear them creak. They summoned the reserves of patience they usually set aside for Gabriel and explained: “You destroyed the plans to make sure Heaven’s informants never get their hands on them.” A pause. “My lord.” 

The King of Hell set his clawed palms flat on the armrests of his horrible throne. Beelzebub couldn’t resist a glance at the offending piece of furniture. It looked so uncomfortable. Sharp and uninviting. If they were still an angel, they’d ponder the metaphor of getting to rule Hell on the harshest throne imaginable. But they were a demon so they didn’t waste time thinking about something unimportant like that. 

Lucifer hummed again. “That makes sense. Were all documents burned in Hellfire?” 

“Yes.” Beelzebub nodded. 

“I see.” A breezy pause. Their king clapped his massive hands. “Well, I want them back.” 

Beelzebub inhaled sharply through their nose, feeling their chest expand with either air or pure frustration. Lucifer watched them release their breath very, very slowly. They were aware he found this very funny. He always liked watching them squirm.

“Sir. All of the documentation is gone.” Beelzebub hoped that maybe repeating a fact through their clenched teeth would make Lucifer move on from the topic. 

“Yes. You said this already.” The King of Hell propped his chin on his fist, clearly enjoying the spectacle of their carefully restrained anger. “And I want it back. I think those were some excellent war plans and it would be a shame if we didn’t get to use them after all.” 

“Sir, we destroyed them in Hellfire-” Beelzebub was one of the most powerful demons in Hell but even they couldn’t bring back something that was sacrificed to the hungriest flame in all of creation. 

Lucifer interrupted them with a raised palm. Unfortunately, he never stayed amused for long.

“There are other ways of recreating documents.” The King of Hell wasn’t smiling anymore. “Go through the transcripts of all Dark Council meetings right before the would-be Apocalypse and piece the strategy together. It's that simple. Or would you rather keep offering excuses and testing my patience, Prince of Gluttony?”

Beelzebub could feel their palms curl into fists all on their own. They couldn’t stop the chewed-up fingernails from digging into the pads of their palms hard enough to make it sting. Their hands trembled in an expression of anger that was both stupid and decadent. This was an order just for the sake of making one. This was Lucifer reminding them who was in power and who will always be in power. And they would be wise to remember that. Their hands unfurled slowly.

“Apologies, my lord.” They buzzed quietly and bowed their head. Lucifer could read that gesture as obedience if he wanted to. In reality, they just didn’t want to look at him any longer. “It will be done.” 

“Good.” Lucifer praised their surrender. He was pleased with them only when they complied.

“I will get to it right away.” Beelzebub turned around to collect the scattered documents, hugging them close to their chest. 

“That would be smart.” Lucifer nodded and attempted to get comfortable in his awful throne yet again. But despite his crossed legs and slumped posture, he didn’t look relaxed at all. “Because I want to see those plans on my desk tomorrow morning.” 

Beelzebub froze. It was already late. Demons didn’t need to sleep, with the apparent exception of Gabriel, but no one enjoyed working for an entire day. Some rest was necessary, whether it was napping or just anything else but paperwork. Not to mention, it just wasn’t physically possible for Beelzebub to comb through every pre-Apocalypse transcript to look for scraps of war strategies in less than twelve hours. It just wasn’t possible. 

But all they said was: “Of course.” 

Beelzebub didn’t turn around to properly excuse themselves out of the room. They gathered every document they could from the cold table and bowed their head again, looking at the spot of dirt on the stone floor. Beelzebub couldn’t voice their anger so everything they did was loud instead. They let the throne room doors slam behind them with a deafening noise. They dropped the reports to the ground, not caring what happens to them now. They stomped loudly to the Archives, scaring the handful of demons who were still roaming the halls. All of them stepped away and hugged the walls tightly as Beelzebub continued their seething march. They burst into the Archives with another deafening noise. Rows of file cabinets greeted them and Beelzebub almost growled at them. 

They quickly jumped to work, motivated by pure spite. Beelzebub immediately located the right section of the Archives and started looking for transcripts of Dark Council meetings. If a document seemed like it could hold the information they were searching for, Beelzebub yanked it out of the drawer and dropped it to the floor. They were being set up to fail, they knew that. Perhaps Lucifer could sense they weren’t very supportive of his plan to start another war. Or maybe he was just being an asshole. It didn’t matter. Because Beelzebub wasn’t going to give him what he wanted. Their king made an impossible request? They can make it possible. 

It wasn't over yet.

Beelzebub gathered an enormous pile of scattered transcripts and scooped them up into their arms. Nudging the door open with just their foot, they marched towards the only solution they could think of at this hour. 

The door to the Department of Sloth was already slightly ajar. Gabriel’s bird probably felt like inflicting some terror upon Hell before sleep and had to be let out. Beelzebub pushed the door open with their shoulder and staggered inside, completely dwarfed by the paper mountain in their arms. They couldn’t see whoever was inside but they could hear a hushed gasp and a chair scraping like an exclamation mark. Beelzebub calmly dumped the papers on the nearest free desk they could find and wiped the dust off their hands.

Prince Gabriel was standing up, staring at them in pure confusion. Next to him was his faithful lackey, the mousey-looking assistant with short hair and buck teeth. She also seemed very puzzled by their arrival. Beelzebub wordlessly placed their hands on their hips and cocked a brow at the girl. To her credit, she got the message immediately.

“Um, it’s late, we can come back to this tomorrow.” She turned to Gabriel who glanced at her and then at Beelzebub. He pressed his lips together, looking very inconvenienced. If he was unhappy now, he definitely wasn’t going to like the rest of this evening. 

“Of course.” His fingers cut through the air as he accepted his assistant’s goodbyes. As she was brushing past Beelzebub, Gabriel continued to stare at them. 

Lately, he wasn’t quite like the ex-Archangel they were used to. And Beelzebub had no idea whether it was because he finally got rid of those last remaining bits of angelic grace in him or because there was something else on his mind. They supposed the threat of the looming war could explain why he seemed tired and annoyed every time they saw him. He couldn’t have picked a worse moment for that moody reinvention. 

“Good night!” The assistant waved at both of them but only Gabriel gave her a curt nod in return. The second the girl was out of the room, he inhaled deeply and raised his hands to sign a careful question. 

“Did you figure something out?” His hands moved slowly. 

Beelzebub shook their head. No, they still had no idea how to stop Lucifer from starting a war Hell couldn't win. And Beelzebub couldn’t worry about that now. Pointing at the pile of documents, they announced: 

“I’m calling in a favor.” 

Gabriel raised both of his eyebrows. “What favor?”

Beelzebub scoffed. “Don’t pretend like you don’t owe me for taking care of you after the Fall.” 

At first, Gabriel visibly relaxed. And then his entire face scrunched up as he glanced at the mountain of paper and Beelzebub’s expectant gaze. 

“That was you taking care of me?” His eyebrows rose even higher.

“Yes. It could have been worse. Now help me.” Beelzebub grabbed some documents and started transferring them to the desk by which he was standing. Gabriel squinted his eyes at them but didn’t argue further. Led by his paper-pushing instincts, he immediately picked up the top report and brought it up to his face. Beelzebub let him leaf through it as they dumped more documents onto his desk. After a short inspection, Gabriel dropped the transcript and snapped his fingers to get their attention. They hated it when he did that.

“What is this?” Gabriel asked, looking confused.

Beelzebub didn’t answer until they were done with their task. When the last document landed on the already wobbling tower of paper, they dusted off their hands again and replied.

“Transcripts of all Dark Council meetings from before the Apocalypse.” They stated matter-of-factly. This didn’t clear up any of Gabriel’s confusion. His face contorted even harder and Beelzebub briefly considered counting the many deep lines on his forehead. 

“What for?” Gabriel continued his naive investigation. 

Beelzebub cut it short. “Lucifer wants me to recreate the war tactics from before the Apocalypse. The plans were destroyed and all I have left are these transcripts. We’re going to read through all of them and mark every spot where someone mentions the war. And we are going to do this now because Lucifer wants that report by tomorrow.” 

They watched Gabriel’s frown deepen with each word of explanation they offered. His expression reached its very impressive peak of disappointment once they mentioned the deadline. He couldn’t possibly squint his eyes any harder or form another wrinkle on his forehead even if he wanted to.

“Tomorrow?” He signed a question. Beelzebub caught his hopeful glance towards the office where his bed waited for him. 

“Yes, tomorrow.” They buzzed in a warning tone. 

Gabriel pulled another miserable face. His gaze flicked between the enormous pile of paper and Beelzebub. Documents. Beelzebub. Documents again. Beelzebub who was now glaring at him. Finally, the former Archangel gave up and made a vague sweeping gesture which Beelzebub understood as a defeated invite. They pulled a chair with a horrible scraping noise and sat on the opposite side of the desk. Gabriel collapsed on his seat and stared at the mountain of documents between them like he was about to burst into tears. 

“Don’t be a baby.” Beelzebub rolled their eyes and grabbed the nearest pen. “We split the transcripts in half, I take one half, you take the other. We skim them, mark the parts about the war effort. Then you hand your half back to me and I’m going to piece everything together into… a report of some sort. I don’t know yet.”

Gabriel responded by sighing deeply. His chest visibly rose and fell with no sound. Beelzebub prepared themselves to pelt him with more insults but to their surprise, instead of whining more, Gabriel dutifully slid the nearest document towards himself. Their eyes met for a brief second over the mound of paper and Beelzebub glanced away. Gabriel looked down and flipped over the first page of the text. Beelzebub cleared their throat and grabbed a transcript of their own. 

They should have said something. Like “thank you”. Beelzebub couldn’t remember when was the last time they thanked somebody for their help. Gratitude just wasn’t a very tangible currency. Demons preferred debts and favors, anything that could be held over somebody’s head. They wished Gabriel was doing this to settle things between them. But Beelzebub knew that wasn't the case. 

Maybe I should wait with gratitude until he actually proves useful, Beelzebub forced a bitter thought. It didn’t help them feel better. So instead, they did what usually worked for them and directed their attention towards the document before them.

The two of them worked in shared silence. Gabriel with a very focused look on his face, Beelzebub with a very resentful grimace on theirs. They didn’t speak at all. Gabriel couldn’t talk with busy hands and Beelzebub needed the quiet to concentrate on reading. The only sounds that could be heard for the next few hours were the rustles of turned pages and the furious scribbles of pens. Beelzebub’s tired eyes jumped from a sentence to a sentence, barely sparing enough attention to understand what they were reading about. All they cared about were the keywords. Troops, army, battalions, maneuvers, weapons… Anything related to the war and the practical math behind it. They didn’t even care whose words they were reading. Some of them belonged to them but they weren’t interested in what past Beelzebub had to say. The present one was currently in too much shit. 

As the unread pile of documents was steadily shrinking, the hours of silence were suddenly interrupted by a bloodcurdling shriek. Beelzebub immediately whipped their head around, looking for danger. All they saw was a very angry bird flapping its gray wings at them. Gabriel's peacock has made its way back into the office and was now squawking loudly, offended at the sight of Beelzebub. Its owner didn’t even look up from the document he was reading, apparently used to the horrible noises at this point. The peacock stalked closer, hissing at the intruder. Beelzebub scowled in response. They didn’t have time for this.

“Don’t even try me today.” Beelzebub pointed a finger at the obnoxious bird. 

The peacock straightened its neck, rising to its full height in a threatening response to their challenge. Beelzebub squinted their eyes at the bird with a clear warning. Not today. They stared at each other for a tense second. Finally, the peacock deflated and let its neck droop low. Beelzebub won, for now. They scoffed as the bird quietly crawled underneath Gabriel’s chair in defeat. Glancing up, they saw the owner of the infernal creature hiding his smile behind a page of a transcript.

“It’s not funny.” Beelzebub grimaced. Gabriel shrugged, staring at the page in his hand. He definitely thought otherwise because he was still smiling. Beelzebub rolled their eyes, trying to focus on the document they were reading before they got interrupted by the loud pest.

They barely got back into the rhythm of their work when Gabriel dropped the document he was going through and reclined with a loud, distracting creak of his chair. Beelzebub glared at him as he checked his wristwatch. Gabriel tapped at it, raised three fingers and added the morning sign. Then he blew out his cheeks with a lot of exaggeration. 

“I know it’s 3 AM.” They informed him dryly. 

“He talks so much.” He replied with a comment unrelated to anything as he tended to do.

“Who?” Beelzebub asked, indulging Gabriel’s need to be doing literally anything else than going through these dull documents. Maybe a small break was what they both needed. 

“Lucifer.” Gabriel explained, fingerspelling his brother’s name with slight apprehension. He pointed at the page he just discarded and then at himself. “I have a limit of one speech per meeting, I think he just delivered his third one.” 

Beelzebub snorted and reclined in their seat as well, rubbing at their eyes. Lucifer did like to talk.

“Are you surprised? Speeches are what led to the Rebellion.” Beelzebub definitely wouldn’t be here were it not for one extended monologue they happened to hear exactly when they needed to. “He sounds boring on the paper. You just had to be there.” 

Gabriel frowned, looking at the document. He was thinking about something. Beelzebub could tell because they could see effort written all over his face. Suddenly, he was glancing up and signing quickly before he could change his mind: 

“Did we know each other back in Heaven?” 

The blurted out question stung them without a warning. Beelzebub tensed up and sat properly in their chair. Instead of replying, they again grabbed the page they were reading before Gabriel got chatty. Beelzebub got through two whole sentences before they noticed that he was still looking at them. He didn’t even have the decency to realize he just asked a question he shouldn’t have. 

Nobody ever discussed their celestial past in Hell. It was the closest thing demons had to a faux pas. They glanced up to see Gabriel still staring at them and waiting for an answer he had no right to ask for. Beelzebub dropped the transcript and pinched the bridge of their nose.

“No. No, we did not.” They replied loudly, dishing out their answer like a blow. Gabriel flinched, quiet for one merciful second. But then he was talking again, a sign after a sign.

“Are you sure?” His eyebrows were raised high and all signs of exhaustion on his face were gone. Gabriel was back to being an insufferably peppy self, sitting up and leaning closer to them. “I was more hands-on before the Rebellion, we must have met. Which dominion was yours?” 

As Gabriel moved closer, they instinctively pushed their chair away. Beelzebub glanced down at the document they were reading just a second ago. But no matter how hard they stared down at it, they couldn’t jump inside the printed pages and escape the question. Beelzebub exhaled through their nose in defeat. They weren’t ashamed of their past but they knew Gabriel wouldn’t understand that.

“I didn’t have one.” Beelzebub replied, pretending they were still reading and being productive.

A mute blink from Gabriel was the only response they got. Beelzebub turned a page even though they hadn’t absorbed a single word.

“I was an editor in Heaven. In the lowest choir.” They elaborated even though they didn't need to. 

Blink, blink, blink. 

Gabriel was stunned. Even if he still had his voice he probably wouldn’t be saying much. Beelzebub looked up, facing his surprise. He was staring at them with bulging eyes and head pulled back. It was an expression that made him look dumber than usual. Which made them feel really accomplished.

Gabriel was one of the first beings in all of the Creation and in Heaven that meant everything. God loved Archangels so much She created them first so they could feel it before other beings. 

Back in Heaven, Beelzebub would have been a nobody next to an Archangel. 

But in Hell, the two of them were sharing a desk and their feet knocked together whenever somebody fixed their position in their chair.

More confused blinks followed. Gabriel dragged the pad of his thumb across his lower lip in a distracted gesture. And finally raised his hands to make one of his trademark obvious observations: “But you’re a Prince.” 

“I am.” Beelzebub was proud of their answer. They could tell Gabriel didn’t understand how someone as lowly as a simple angel got to wear a princely sash in Hell. But that wasn’t their problem. “Hell is different. Anyone can be a Prince, regardless of what they were upstairs.”

Gabriel furrowed his brows hard enough to pull every muscle in his face. Beelzebub calmly watched the confusion in his eyes get tainted with something approaching royal distaste, something they've often seen in Lucifer's eyes. This whole time Gabriel has been talking to someone who wouldn’t be qualified to even bring him correspondence in Heaven. 

“I didn’t know.” Gabriel finally signed, carefully. And looked at them like he was meeting them for the first time in his life, trying his best to pick apart a scheme that wasn’t there. 

“You thought I was a Virtue?” Beelzebub openly snorted at him.

“Or a Power.” Gabriel replied quickly, looking very awkward. He was clearly at a loss for words, a situation that didn’t happen to him very often. Beelzebub hoped he was aware he literally asked for it. 

“No. Just a rankless angel.” Beelzebub shook their head. “I proofread memos and missives. Organized paperwork for the angel responsible for overseeing the creation of meadows. I had some ideas on how to improve her work. I was told that me being ambitious was a sign of being displeased with the way Almighty made me. And that’s not acceptable, of course.” 

To Gabriel’s credit, he was a good listener. It was one of the reasons why he was created. He sat in front of them motionless like a statue and even the breaths he took were carefully spaced out. Something in Beelzebub’s chest swelled when they imagined him listening to God Herself in the same rapt way. They couldn't hold back their answers now, not with this kind of audience.

“But back then there was no Falling and nobody knew what to do with angels who didn’t enjoy the cards they were dealt.” Beelzebub continued. “Until Lucifer decided to do something about it.” 

Gabriel’s hand twitched hesitantly but Beelzebub stopped him from interrupting with a one-sided shrug. “Oh, don’t worry. I know he didn’t do that for us. We just happened to have the same problem as he did.” 

The former Archangel gave her the most miserable look.

“Something broke when She announced Her plans to create humans.” Gabriel said with his eyes fixed at Beelzebub but looking past them, past the walls of his office, past everything. He was somewhere else now. Probably back in Heaven before the Rebellion. “Lucifer didn’t like that.”

Beelzebub shrugged again. “Whatever it was. He was the first one to see. The first one to object. The first one to make us realize how unfair She has been to us.”

Gabriel’s gaze regained its focus and he stared at them pleadingly, like a wounded animal. He didn’t want to listen anymore, he didn’t want to know. But Beelzebub was past pulling punches. Gabriel survived his own Fall, a bit of truth wasn’t going to hurt him more than that.

“All it took was a couple of rousing speeches. Heaven was split in half because of words.” Beelzebub finished their thought, despite his silent protest. Gabriel jerked his head away from them and shook it at nothing in particular. 

Beelzebub fell silent but the late hour continued to inspire. They frowned slightly and threw out a quiet observation, letting it land softly on the desk between them. 

“It always comes back to words, doesn’t it?” 

Gabriel’s hands recited mechanically. “In the beginning, there was the Word.” 

“Well, there you go.” Beelzebub responded. “It’s what brought Her down in the end.” 

“She’s not gone.” Gabriel protested, suddenly looking very tired. 

“Hiding then.” Beelzebub shrugged, not caring about the distinction. They exhaled through their nose and returned to the document before them, voicing one last remark:

“You know what, it’s what She and Lucifer have in common. When shit hits the fan, they just disappear and make us pick up the pieces.” 

When the Apocalypse got canceled, Lucifer’s solution was to go on a very angry vacation and quietly lick his wounds from his encounter with the Antichrist. It wasn’t ideal but Beelzebub was used to that by now. They always had to handle the most inconvenient parts of ruling. Beelzebub sighed again, attempting to worm their way back into the transcript they were reading before Gabriel interrupted them with his stupid questions. At least his curiosity seemed to be sated now because his hands were still, wrapped tightly around his chest. Beelzebub skimmed an entire paragraph before they remembered it's what he did when he wanted to stay quiet. They looked up from the document and froze when they saw Gabriel staring at the floor with very wet eyes. 

It was Beelzebub’s turn to blink dumbly now. 

“Erm.” They made a very Crowley-like noise and immediately hated themselves for that. Pushing the surprise out of their tone, Beelzebub tried their best to sound exasperated: "Satan, I wasn't trying to make you cry. This time."

Gabriel threw them an angry and glistening glare, the same one he treated them right after his Fall. This clearly wasn’t about them. He wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, carefully avoiding mixing tar with tears. Before Beelzebub could realize what they were doing, they patted the inside pocket of their suit and fished out a red satin handkerchief out of it. They shook some fruit flies out of it and threw it onto his lap. Gabriel grimaced slightly at the unceremonious offering. But he picked it up and almost daintily dabbed at the corners of his eyes.

Beelzebub shifted uncomfortably in their seat as Gabriel tried to regain his composure. This wasn’t what they were going for. They wanted to shake him up, yes. Maybe even upset him a little. But not to the point of disrupting their work. And none of this was satisfying to look at. Gabriel was now folding the handkerchief in his lap, avoiding their gaze and occasionally sniffing without a sound. When he couldn’t fold the fabric any further, he finally looked up. 

“It’s what you said about picking up the pieces.” He informed them, signing in a strange, jerky way. And angrily wiped at his left eye with the heel of his palm, no longer concerned about possibly rubbing tar into it. At some point during his stay in Hell, Gabriel must have learned that showing emotions down below wasn’t very smart. Beelzebub didn’t like that development for reasons unknown to them.

“Right.” They agreed for the sake of agreeing, eager to end this awkward moment. Gabriel sensed the rush and winced at himself. 

“I just never thought of it like that.” He signed. 

“Well, you know--” Beelzebub brought out the placating tone they used on Lucifer before the meaning of Gabriel’s words clicked for them. They raised a brow, confused. “Wait. You agree with me?”

Gabriel didn’t nod. He wasn’t capable of that yet. So instead, he talked about something else.

“When Lucifer left Heaven, we all felt so guilty. Me, Uriel... Michael the most I think. But we had to get back to work immediately. The rest of Heaven was looking to us, to Mother. But all She told us to do was to get things under control and then She went back to planning humanity.” This was possibly the longest sequence of signs from Gabriel that Beelzebub has witnessed since his Fall. The gestures he was making were big and loud whenever they tapped against any part of his body. He signed at a breakneck pace, clearly afraid of pausing. If Gabriel were to stop moving now, he’d sink. 

“So I pushed them. I pushed everyone, myself. I pushed Michael to get back to work and stop thinking about what she did to him. I created a whole new department of internal affairs and put Uriel in charge. I found a replacement for Lucifer and promoted Sandalphon. I did all of that.” 

Beelzebub listened, fascinated by the picture of post-war Heaven they never got to see. 

“Now I’m not sure if I did it because I felt She expected me to or because I couldn’t stand to see all of us so sad. She didn’t even ask if--” He paused, suddenly angry at the words his hands were saying.

“She didn’t even ask if you were okay.” Beelzebub finished for him. 

Gabriel’s head moved up and down in a barely noticeable nod. 

“Lucifer was our brother.” He suddenly added like that cleared up everything. “Is.”

Beelzebub was created alongside millions of other rankless angels. In theory, all of them were their siblings. But in practice it just meant that none of them were. It was impossible to form an attachment to such a huge choir. Hell was different. In Hell all demons were united by their Falls. And that kind of bond actually meant something to Beelzebub. But Gabriel wasn’t like them. He had a very fixed set of siblings that were his entire world. A world that slowly eroded away and then spectacularly burst into flames when he was made to Fall. Beelzebub wondered if Gabriel was even capable of fully hating Lucifer but they didn’t ask him that. They didn’t want to know the answer to that question before their future attempt to stop the war. 

A second of silence turned into a minute and the minute turned into something else, liquid and unending. There weren’t done here yet and they both knew it. Beelzebub wasn't surprised when Gabriel started signing again.

“I love Mother but I don’t understand so many things She did. But I didn’t want to think about that, it’s what led Lucifer to his Fall.” Gabriel was frowning, more confused than angry. His hands moved at a glacial pace now, full of consideration and possibly some leftover survival instinct. 

“Well.” Beelzebub reclined in their chair and gestured to their shared surroundings, the sulfur-covered walls and the low ceiling. “What do you think now?” 

Gabriel glanced at them. Cautiously, tensely. As if he was worried they were about to snitch on him for forming an opinion. Beelzebub didn’t move. They remained frozen in their seat like an experienced birdwatcher, slowly coaxing him back. Gabriel finally relaxed enough to let his broad shoulders drop from their defensive position. 

“I wish I could ask Her. I used to talk to Her every day. Or--” Gabriel’s hands stopped mid-air and erased everything they just signed in a bitter gesture. He started over: “I used to listen to her every day. I never asked Her anything but I think I would now. Because I just don’t understand and I want to. I want to understand why did She let it get so bad and why was the Apocalypse stopped.” 

“And why did you have to Fall.” They added for him. 

Gabriel made a miserable face and nodded. 

Apparently his idea of holding God was just asking Her some questions. He was still so naive despite what he went through already. Beelzebub made sure he could hear that in their voice when they asked him: 

“She might have had no reason at all. Have you thought about that?” 

Gabriel hesitated. But when his hands spoke again, they moved very precisely.

“Then I want to hear that from Her.” 

Beelzebub blinked. They stared at him for a while.

“You’re demanding.” Beelzebub observed with a hint of pride. 

“I think I’ve earned that.” Gabriel looked away but it wasn’t a nervous gesture. It was a surrender. He knew this wasn’t what an angel does. An angel does not make requests of their own creator, they do not ask God to explain. An angel bows their head and waits for an order. 

“I just want some answers. I can’t take it anymore.” The demon in front of Beelzebub paused and corrected himself, shaking his head. “No, I guess I can. But I don’t want to.”

Beelzebub knew where he was coming from. But to them, no answer was going to satisfy their sense of justice. There was no explanation God could offer them that would make up for centuries of feeling small and insignificant. But they didn’t tell him that. Gabriel just proved he wasn’t a lost cause. Demanding was tenfolds better than groveling. Even if the answer he was looking for didn’t matter at all.

“Well. I hope you get your chance, I really do.” Beelzebub leaned forward. Their knees touched under the paper-covered desk. “But unless I don’t finish this war report before the morning, neither of us will get to do much anymore.” 

Gabriel twitched like he just realized where he was and what he was doing before he asked that one innocent question about Beelzebub’s past. He stared at the pile of documents before him and grimaced. 

“Chop-chop.” Beelzebub picked up the still-open file, glad to be leaving this conversation behind. “We’re almost done.” 

Gabriel glanced at them but Beelzebub didn’t even bother meeting his finally dry eyes. Gabriel exhaled through his nose and pulled a new document towards himself. But only one page got turned before he dropped his pen with a loud clack and raised his hands again. 

“But I think I understand why you want to save Hell now.” Gabriel sat up, agitated all over again.

“Satan, no. No, we’re not doing this again. Get back to reading.” Beelzebub threw their hands up. They were extremely close to begging him to go back to work but once they saw the excited light in his purple eyes, they knew there was no shutting him up.

As predicted, Gabriel ignored their protest and continued signing: “You care about the rest of Hell more than you care about Lucifer.”

Beelzebub didn’t respond but something on their face must have betrayed them despite the centuries of training. Whatever Gabriel saw, whether it was a stray glance to the side or a twitch of their thin lips, it proved his little theory. He reclined with a sense of triumph, marveling at their reaction.

“Sure. Whatever you say.” Beelzebub forced a disinterested tone. They shouldn’t have bothered. Gabriel already had his answer.

“You’re happy here.” Gabriel beamed at them. Beelzebub tried very hard to force a snide remark about the fact that Gabriel was angrily bawling just minutes ago. But they couldn’t. They had no choice but to let the walls around them crumble with a very loud sigh. 

“Yes.” They surrendered. “Happy, whatever, yes. Happier than I could ever be in Heaven.” 

The same wave that carried Gabriel to his first moment of blasphemy now carried them to the first moment of vulnerability that wasn’t pulled out of them like a tooth. 

“I am happy here.” Beelzebub admitted, looking at the open document before them. They thought about Dagon, their department and even the demons they hated, like Asmodeus or Crowley. All of them were better off in Hell than in Heaven. “I know a lot of us are. But if Lucifer starts the war…” 

Their voice trailed off as they imagined demons dying for the cause that wasn’t theirs, not anymore. The Rebellion used to be for their shared freedom, not for the pride of one King. Gabriel blinked softly at them. For some reason, at this very moment, he looked competent. Like he actually knew what was happening around him for a change.

“You want to protect them.” Gabriel signed. Beelzebub raised their gaze to understand his hands and caught his tiny yet smug smile in the process. They threw their head back to groan at the ceiling.

“Shut up.” Beelzebub shook their head at him.

“But I like that. I finally understand something about you.” Gabriel added hurriedly before they could shield themselves with an insult or two. 

Beelzebub stared at him for a while. Gabriel bore the weight of their gaze with an animated, fidgeting energy in his stupidly large body. He was waiting either for confirmation or for praise. Beelzebub sighed, giving him neither of those things. 

“Why would you want to do that? Understand me?” They asked.

Gabriel pursed his lips, surprised by the question. But his hesitation didn’t last long. 

“Because we’re partners.” He replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world and blinked at them. 

Beelzebub slowly realized that ever since his Fall, most if not all of their days have involved Gabriel in some way. At first, as an obstacle and a problem to be solved. Then as an annoyance in the background. And today, he was the only way out that they could think of. They could have gone to Dagon with this. But they didn’t, they chose Gabriel. They trusted this confused idiot more than anyone else down here. Beelzebub snorted loudly at themselves and their apparent lack of common sense. Gabriel tilted his head, confused by their reaction. 

“Okay, partner.” They gestured at him and then at the transcripts with a sloppy wave of their hand. They were both doomed but Beelzebub wasn’t worried about that, not anymore. “Then let’s practice good workplace unity and get back to the task at hand.”

Gabriel’s mouth twitched in an almost-smile but he stopped it from blooming in full, sparing them that sight. He just nodded and finally, finally went back to reading his transcript in satisfied silence. Beelzebub watched him closely, waiting for another interruption. But it didn’t come. Gabriel was just working, dutiful as ever. 

Beelzebub stared at the documents before them. The moment of raw connection was over, for better or worse. They could focus on their work now. The turmoil in their head cleared before they even reached the end of the last paragraph. There was no more need to think about Gabriel or Lucifer or the new Apocalypse. Beelzebub could just work instead. For the next hour, the two of them continued to turn pages and pluck out the important parts in complete silence. Out of the corner of their eye, Beelzebub could see Gabriel slumping lower and lower as time went on. But his hand never stopped moving, sloppily marking the pages with the necessary annotations.

And finally, the unread pile was no more. Beelzebub reached the last page of their assigned half of documents. Closing the file with a loud snap, they reclined in their chair and let out a sigh. This part of the race against the time was over. Now, all they needed to do was to piece everything together in one concise report. They glanced across the desk. 

Gabriel was sleeping with his cheek pressed to the paper and arms hanging loosely at his sides. The pages of documents he was entombed by rustled quietly with each soundless exhale he made. Beelzebub squinted one eye at him, baffled. They didn’t even notice when he nodded off. Getting up, they made sure to make as much noise as possible but he didn’t even stir. Beelzebub pressed their lips together in disbelief. Well, they didn’t need him for the final part of this assignment, they just needed his marked transcripts. They pulled his stack towards theirs, combining them into a messy pile of dog-eared pages and scribbled margins. Gabriel was still asleep. He continued to sleep even when they grabbed his tar-slicked hair and yanked his head back in order to pull out the last transcript he used as a pillow. Even when they let go of his head and his forehead smacked loudly against the desk, he didn’t open his eyes. 

His peacock crawled from underneath the chair and jumped onto Gabriel's back, hissing at Beelzebub. 

“I’m going, I’m going.” Beelzebub snapped back at the bird. Obviously, they weren’t welcome anymore. Not that they ever were, according to that beaked monster. They quickly leafed through the last document. At the very least Gabriel was considerate enough to fall asleep only after finishing his work. Every single page bore black fingerprints on them and some helpful arrows pointing to the parts they asked for.

Beelzebub glanced at the wall clock. 5 AM. There was still plenty of time. The report they were about to churn out in their office wasn’t going to be very coherent, but they doubted Lucifer cared much about its quality. They doubted he was going to read it at all. Scooping up the pile of documents, Beelzebub made sure Gabriel was still sleeping with the same idiotic expression on his face. He was. Blissfully unaware of them leaving or the peacock getting comfortable on his back. Beelzebub scowled at the bird and it squinted its beady eyes at them in return. 

They were suddenly glad that Gabriel was asleep and currently drooling on his desk. It meant that he couldn’t hear the last thing Beelzebub said before they left his office. 

“Thank you.” They murmured with their gaze low and arms full of paper.

Nobody responded. The door clicked shut behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE DURING THE QUARANTINEEEE im SCREAMING
> 
> anyways, yeah um, u didnt think i was gonna finish this story without One Last Deep Convo ... its not a very eventful chapter (at least Plot-wise) but there were some things that had to be said by both of them and i hope it was at least a little bit entertaining to read. i LOVE writing extensive dialogue scenes, unforchunately. its everything else that seems to be troubling me in these troubled times... but we'll get there, eventually! 
> 
> next chapter: @_@ ............................. seasons finale babey. the next chapter will have a SERIOUS title, thats how serious things are gonna get


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